Story: Guitar Sisters

Part of the Stabler Girls series.  Lenore super wants to play Bre's Guitar Hero game... but Bre's growing up and doesn't have too much time for her baby sister anymore.  So Lenore decides to sneak in and play it anyway, without permission of course.

Guitar Sisters
by Lenore and Breanna

Breanna beamed at her birthday present -- Guitar Hero for her Playstation 3, equipped with two guitars, a drum set, and three of the latest games.  It was the best thing in the world that she could've ever asked for.  She played it every chance she got, and put it all carefully away when she left the house, to make sure that her little sister didn't touch it.

Lenore had her eyes on her sister's guitar hero. She constantly begged her sister to let her play, but she never did. She only ever let her friends play, thus frustrating the younger girl.

But Breanna was too worried that Lenore would break it.  She just couldn't bear the thought of the little girl playing a teenager game.  Besides, all of the games on it were rated T (well, except one, which their dad had bought them specifically so Lenore could play, but that's besides the point).  "You can play later, Lenore," Breanna said to her little sister, placing the guitar carefully in place.

"But you always say that, and then never let me play!" Lenore whined. "Daddy bought a game I could play too! Let me play!"

"But we have to play together!" Bre said, holding the controller in the air as Lenore tried to swipe it.  "And right now I have to go to practice.  We can play later."

"But I've seen you play alone! Why can't I play it alone?" Lenore argued. "I'm not a little baby! I'm good at Nintendo!"

"Because it's MY game, and I don't want you playing it by yourself.  Now come on.  I promise I'll let you play later.  But right now get out of my room," Bre said, turning the off the TV and putting the controller down.

Lenore grumbled angrily, stomping her feet as she stormed out of the room. "Fine! Be a Meanie-head then!"

Breanna rolled her eyes at her little sister, then closed her bedroom door, running downstairs and waving goodbye to her father.  She walked the few blocks to school where she had practice for this new play her school was putting on.  She was working backstage, helping move props and all, and actually enjoyed it a lot more than she'd thought she would.  When practice was over, she invited her friend back home with her so they could play guitar hero together.

Lenore sat outside her sister's bedroom door, waiting for her to get home. She'd been promised a game of Guitar Hero, and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to finally get to play!

When Breanna approached her bedroom, she sighed.  "Squirt, I have company, you and I will play later."

"But you promised we'd play when you got home!" Lenore protested. "I've been sitting here for half an hour!"

"I told you we could play LATER, I didn't say right when I got home.  Besides, it's not a 3-player game.  We're going to dual guitars.  You can't play with us."

"I'm telling Daddy that you won't let me play!" Lenore snapped, jumping up angrily. "And you can play it with three people! There's enough instruments!"

"DA-AD!" Breanna shouted, "Lenore's pestering me and Janice!!  She won't leave us alone and let us play guitar hero!"

"Breanna won't let me play!" Lenore shouted in return.

Elliot came to the front of the staircase and looked at the two girls.  "Lenore, let your sister play," he said.  "Breanna, when Janice leaves, share with your sister."

Breanna stuck her tongue out at Lenore as if saying, "told ya so."

"Sure!" Lenore snapped angrily. "Take her side!!!! She hasn't let me play since she got the damn thing!"

Elliot glared at his youngest daughter.  "Do we need to have a discussion, Young Lady?" he said in an admonishing tone.

Lenore scowled. "No, Daddy..." She cast her sister an angry look, then stormed into her room, slamming her door shut behind her.

Breanna rolled her eyes and invited her friend inside, starting up the game and dueling guitars with her.  They played for what seemed like forever, and then invited a couple of more friends over.  Since it was Saturday night, she somehow convinced her dad to let them have a sleepover.  It was great -- they were like a real band... drums, guitar, bass, and singer.  Until Lenore started pestering them again...

"Bre...." Lenore whined, standing in the doorway. "You said I could play later. It's later!"

"Go away," Bre shouted over the drums.  She tried to say more, but she was too focused on what she was playing.

"Daddy told you to let me play later!" Lenore argued. "This is later! I've been waiting all day!"

"It's not your game," Bre said, growling a swear word under her breath as she missed a note from talking to her little sister.  "So you'll just have to wait.  I don't bug you to play your birthday presents.  GRRRR!  See what you made me do?" she yelled when she missed a stream of notes.

Lenore jumped slightly, her eyes filling with tears. "I just want to spend time with you! I'm sorry I'm not BIG enough or COOL enough!"

Bre ignored her, still drumming away.  "We can spend time later," she finally said when the song was over; feeling bad that her sister was near tears, but not bad enough to invite her to play with them.

Lenore turned and ran out of the room, her feelings hurt. She felt stupid for crying, but jeez. What did she have to do to be able to play Guitar Hero with her sister, like everyone else kept getting too?

The crowd of teenagers continued playing, through most of the night.  Bre felt a pang of guilt when she saw how late it was and that poor Lenore was still waiting.  But Lenore would be fine.  They could play together the next day.

Lenore waited and waited until their father finally sent her off to bed. It just wasn't fair. Why did she always get left out of everything? Wasn't her fault she was only ten.

The next morning, Breanna and her friends woke bright and early and made blueberry waffles.  "Little sisterrrrr... Daddyyyyy," Bre called out.  "Do ya want some waffles?"

"I do!" Lenore called out eagerly, running into the kitchen. She hoped she'd get to spend time with her sister today. She hadn't had any alone time with her since the day before her sister's birthday.

Elliot came out around the same time Lenore, shouting that he wanted waffles as well and ruffling his littlest's hair.  When they were all downstairs, waffles served, Bre and her friends went into the living room to watch MTV while Elliot and Lenore stayed in the dining room.  "What's wrong, kiddo?" Elliot asked, noticing a solemn look in the ten year old's face.

"Bre doesn't wanna hang out with me anymore...." Lenore confided softly. "She keeps promising to let me play Guitar Hero with her, but then she goes off with her friends. What am I? Chopped liver?"

Elliot rubbed her back.  "She's just getting older," he said in a soothing voice.  "She's going to probably want to spend a lot of time with her friends from now on, kiddo.  It's nothing against you. It's just her age."  He took a bite of the waffles and then said, "at least we get breakfast out of the deal, right?" he chuckled.

Lenore gave a slight shrug of her shoulders, as she finished up her waffles. "I wish Jenny wasn't grounded.... I coulda had my own sleepover then."

"I'll talk to Bre about it, okay little one?"

"Kay," Lenore sighed softly. She put her plate and utensils in the dishwasher, then peeked into the living room. "Bre? Am I gonna get to play Guitar Hero today?"

Bre was giggling with her friends, but looked at Lenore and smiled.  "Of course, little sister.  When everyone leaves, okay?"

"When are they leaving?" Lenore wanted to know, just as one of Bre's friends suggested they head to the park to play some basketball.

"Later, Lenore.  Just chill, okay?"

Lenore narrowed her eyes. "Lemme guess, you're gonna go play b-ball with them now, aren't you?"

Breanna rolled her eyes, ignoring her sister, and instead pointing out something about the show to her friends.

Lenore disappeared upstairs, feeling super angry and upset with her sister. She was SICK of being pushed aside, and being left out of everything. She eyed her sister's bedroom door warily, plotting on how to get in there and play without anyone knowing. She was through waiting!

It was easy for Bre to ignore her little sister.  She was enjoying her friends' company and catching up on gossip and all that jazz.  So when her friends invited her to go to the park, she was totally down for it.  And her dad gave her permission.  She didn't even think twice about how she'd left her little sister out again.

Lenore sat at the top of the steps, watching as her sister left her behind yet again. She clenched her teeth together, as she turned and quietly went back upstairs. She knew everyone figured she'd gone outside - she usually did on nice days like today. Soon as she knew it was safe, she snuck into her sister's room, closing the door behind her. Breanna always closed her door anyway, so it was nothing out of the ordinary. She opened up the cupboard door and turned the Playstation on, making sure the volume was turned down low, so no one would hear her. She picked up the guitar, and began to play, though her hands were a little small for the guitar she had grabbed up.

She played for a bit, rocking out, and decided maybe she'd best quit while she was still undetected. She managed to turn the game off okay, but dropped the guitar when she went to put it back on its stand. Her eyes went wide as a piece broke off, landing on the floor a little ways away.

"Uh-oh..." She whispered softly. "Bre's gonna KILL me!" She grabbed the piece up, and rummaged around for some glue. She found some and managed to glue the piece back on, though now it didn't work.

She set it back on the stand carefully, and hightailed it out of her sister's room, not seeing the piece fall off again, and back into her own. She grabbed Mr. Stuffles, her teddy bear, then snuck on out into the backyard and hid in her playhouse.

Bre was exhausted when she got back home, and took a shower, then put on her pjs and lay in bed.  She quickly took out her Playstation, and guitar.  She immediately noticed something missing, and realized a piece had broken off.  She hadn't noticed that before.  The more she looked around, the more she realized that stuff was out of place.  Even the wrong game was in her Playstation.  And her control had been moved.  She scowled and stormed into her little sister's room.  "LENORE!!!" she shouted.

Lenore could hear her sister's shout from all the way out back in her playhouse. She shrunk down even more, and hugged her teddy bear to her chest tightly.

Elliot heard his oldest daughter's shriek and came outside his room.  "What's going on?" he wanted to know.  "Where's Lenore?!" she said anxiously.

"She's gonna kill me, Mr. Stuffles," Lenore whispered to her teddy bear. "I bet she'll never think to check my playhouse though... She never comes in here anymore."

Elliot shrugged.  "She's been playing outside.  She's probably in her playhouse.  But what's going on?"  "I need to ask her a question," Breanna said, turning and running downstairs then outside.  "Lenore!" she yelled again, then climbed the ladder to the playhouse.  "You up here?"

Lenore pushed herself further back into the corner she was in, covering her face with Mr. Stuffles. Her sister was crazy if she expected her to answer.

Bre poked her head inside the playhouse and looked around, finally spotting her sister curled up in the corner.  "You broke my guitar!" she said angrily.

"How could I break it, if I'm not allowed to play it?" Lenore replied softly.

"Just admit it.  You broke it, you twerp."

"I'm NOT a twerp!" Lenore retorted. "And how would you know if I did or not? How do you know it wasn't one of 'em stupid friends of yours!?"

"Because the stupid piece was on the guitar when I left earlier!"  She pushed herself inside the playhouse, sitting on the floor.  "Don't make me hurt you!"

"You're not allowed to hurt me!" Lenore snapped. "I'm surprised you even remembered me."

"Stop being emo!" Bre shouted.  "I have friends, ya know.  I told you I would play with you later but you wouldn't listen."

"You've been telling me THAT for a WEEK AND A HALF!" Lenore shouted angrily. "Was I s'pose to wait 'till I was eighty?"

"Ugh, fine, whatever," Bre said, climbing back down the ladder.  "Have it your way!" she said, going back inside.  Her dad had already gone back in his room -- he'd been working from home all day -- so she pushed open Lenore's door and found her favorite toy.  "This'll teach her to touch my stuff," she said.

Breanna took the doll in her hand and ripped the arm off, then, just to be a bitch, ripped one of the legs off.  She threw them all into a pile on her bed, then backed out of her sister's room, crying.  She plopped on her bed and buried her face into her hands.

Lenore had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, and hurriedly climbed down the ladder to her playhouse. She ran up to her room, her eyes going wide seeing her doll. "Orianna! What did she do to you!?" She exclaimed, her eyes filling with tears, as she ran to her 'baby'. She tenderly picked the pieces up, her tears starting to fall. She set Mr. Stuffles down on her bed next to her broken doll, and turned and charged into her sister's room. "YOU BITCH!!!!" She screamed, attacking her sister. "YOU KILLED ORIANNA!!!!!!"

"Well YOU killed my guitar first!!!!" Bre shouted back, standing up and wiping the tears away.

"NOT ON PURPOSE!" Lenore shouted, swinging her fists at her sister.

"Well you shouldn't be touching my fucking games when I'm not home anyway!"  Bre clenched her fists, too, towering over her little sister.  "I told you I'd play with you!!  Why can't you just be patient and wait!!"

"I waited a week and a half!" Lenore growled, punching her sister in the stomach. "All you care about anymore if your stupid friends!"

"OUCH!" Bre screamed, grabbing her stomach and then angrily pushing Lenore into the door.

Lenore got back up, though she was almost in tears. "I hate you!" She shouted, charging at her sister, and knocking her to the floor. She may've been smaller, but she could be feisty when she wanted to be. She clamped her teeth down on her sister's arm as they rolled around.

Bre wailed when her sister bit her and then kneed her in the butt.  "GET OFF OF ME!!!!!  DADDYYYYY!!!!!  LENORE'S GOING CRAZY!!!!!!"

Lenore kept on going crazy, attacking her sister - punching, biting, and kneeing her - anything. She was just SO angry!

Elliot ran into the room.  "What is going on in here?!" He asked, grabbing Lenore off of Breanna and giving her a good three swats to get her attention.

Lenore yelped, her hands moving to cover her bottom quickly. "She killed Orianna!"

Elliot glared at Breanna.  "Breanna," he said in a low growl.  "She broke my guitar!!!"  Elliot sighed and looked at his youngest now.  "Lenore..."

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Lenore exclaimed tearfully. "But she was never gonna let me play! I've been asking nicely to play since she got in, an' she keeps telling me 'later'! I was gonna be old, before she ever let me play!"

"Go to your room, Lenore," Elliot said softly.  "I will be in there in a few minutes.  First I'm going to deal with your sister."

Lenore glared at her sister, as she turned and angrily stormed back into her room, slamming her door and locking it.

Elliot turned to face his oldest, shaking his head as he heard his youngest's door slam shut. "Was revenge really worth all this?" He asked. "Why didn't you just tell me earlier, that she'd broken the guitar?"

Breanna shrugged, arms folded, and upset.

"Breanna, all she wants is to spend some time with you," Elliot told her. "You're the coolest person she knows, and she just wants to feel acknowledged. How'd you like it if someone told you for a week and a half that they'd play with you later, and then they never did?"

"Well, I was gonna play with her, but I had other stuff to do.  She needs to be patient, jeez."

"She's ten; patience isn't always understood at that age," Elliot pointed out.

"Well, she needs to learn it.  She shouldn't just rummage through my stuff and break my guitar.  That's not fair!  She should have to buy me a new one," Bre pouted.

"I'm not condoning what she's done," Elliot stated. "But seeking revenge is wrong too. Why didn't you tell me what had happened, when I asked you earlier?"

She shrugged.  "I dunno.  I guess I was just annoyed."

"Well, if you had told me, Lenore would be the only one getting spanked," Elliot pointed out. "Seeking revenge gets you nothing but trouble, Breanna Nicole."

Breanna frowned.  "I'm sorry, Daddy.  I won't do it again.  Please don't spank me."

"I'm not changing my mind, Breanna," Elliot replied, taking a seat at her desk chair. "Now, come here."

"Noooo, Daddyyyyy," she whined.  "I promise I'll be good.  I won't do it again, and I'll buy her a new doll," she said, inching toward him but hoping he'd change his mind.

"You're going to fix the doll," Elliot said, lifting her skirt up. "And you're getting spanked. End of discussion." He flipped her over his lap, and lowered her panties, starting in on the spanking quickly.

Bre kicked and squirmed, crying out more from embarrassment than pain.  How humiliating that she was 16 years old and getting the same punishment as her 10 year old sister!!  Her friends would laugh at her for days if they knew.  "Owww, Daddy!  I'm sorry!" she said in a low voice, trying not to struggle too much.

"You're sixteen Breanna!" Elliot lectured, punctuating each word with a hard smack. "Do NOT stoop to your little sister's level."

"Oooowwwwww, yes sir!!" she said, tears spilling down her cheeks.  "I won't!" She promised.

Elliot smacked her sit-spots super hard, super fast, wanting to drive the lesson home.

Breanna kicked, crying out and holding onto the legs of the chair so she wouldn't reach back.

Elliot finished off quickly, giving her a moment to control herself.

She cried into her hands, softly wiping the tears away, then accepting her dad's help when he picked her up.  "I'm sorry, Daddy," she said, hugging him tightly.  "I promise I'll fix Lenore's doll, and I won't revenge against her anymore."  She sniffled, wiping her face again.

"Thank-you," Elliot replied, kissing her head and hugging her in return. "Now, why don't you re-dress and get to fixing the doll?"

Bre nodded and pulled her panties back up, letting her skirt fall back into place.  She went to her little sister's room and knocked on the door, all hard feelings against her sister having evaporated by now.  "Lenore?" she said weakly.

"Go away!" Lenore snapped, still feeling angry.

"Sis, I'm going to fix your doll... or get you a new one.  But I have to see it first so I can fix it," Bre said gently, rubbing her bottom and looking up at her dad who came behind her now.

"I'm not opening it up!" Lenore replied. "You're just gonna let Daddy in. I don't wanna see Daddy!"

Bre sighed.  "Dad has the key anyway, so if he really wanted to come in then he would just barge in.  Come on, it'll be easier on you if you open the door, and then I'll get to start fixing your doll quicker."

"Then let Daddy use his stupid ole key!" Lenore retorted, from where she sat on the top shelf of her closet. Luckily, her shelves in there were super strong and she was still on the small side. "I'm not opening up!"

"Lenore," Elliot called out, knocking louder on the door, "open this door please.  You're in enough trouble as it is."

Bre winced at her father's words, knowing that with that tone of voice, he was serious.

"I can't open it," Lenore replied, realizing she didn't know how to get down now that she was up there. "I'm stuck."

Bre couldn't help but giggle at that statement... no telling what Lenore had gotten herself stuck in this time... but Elliot found it anything but amusing.  He went to his room and got the key out of his drawer, then unlocked Lenore's door.  Bre followed him inside, gathering the doll and its pieces in her hands, then saying, "Hey, where are you?"

Lenore sighed heavily, knowing if her sister was in the room, so was their father. She might as well just admit defeat. "My closet...."

Both Bre and Elliot looked toward the closet and Bre could see the faint hint of Lenore's pink toenail polish.  "Wow," she said, then looked at her father who went inside, glancing up at his youngest.

Lenore gave him a sheepish look. "I like to climb...."

Elliot held out his strong arms beckoning her forth.  "What are we going to do with you?"

"Love me anyway?" Lenore suggested, as she leaned down into him.

"Of course I'll love you anyway, sweetie," he said, pulling her down to the floor.  "Now, we need to have a talk," he said, taking her hand and leading her to the bed.

Breanna gave her little sister a quick hug and said, "I'm sorry for breaking your doll.  And for ignoring you.  I love you, sis, and totally want to play guitar hero with you later, okay?  I promise for real this time."

"Kay," Lenore said softly, a worried look now on her face. "I'm sorry I broke your guitar..."

Elliot rubbed Lenore's back and smiled at Breanna, giving her a slight nod as if it was her cue to leave.  Bre did as cued and went back to her room, beginning to superglue the pieces together.  Elliot closed Lenore's door and turned to her.  "You and I need to have a serious talk, Young Lady," he said, looking down at her with disappointment.

Lenore hung her head, staring down at her feet, as she clasped her hands behind her back. "I was afraid you were gonna say that..."

Elliot lifted her chin up and made her look in his eyes.  "First I want you to tell me exactly what happened."

"I got tired of waitin’..." Lenore said softly. "I was takin' good care of her things.... but then when I went to put the guitar back it slipped an' I dropped it an' a piece broke off.... I tried to fix it, but I couldn't...."

"And then...?"

"I went an' sat in my playhouse all day," Lenore replied softly. "An' then she killed Orianna! An' I guess I got mad...."

Elliot folded his arms.  "And that's when you attacked her."

"She fought back...." Lenore argued softly.

"I know she did, and she's been spanked for it," Elliot said firmly.  "Do you have anything to say for yourself, Young Lady?  Breaking into your sister's room, messing with her things, then breaking her game, then attacking her?  You should be ashamed."

"I just wanted her attention," Lenore spoke quietly. "I've been trying to get her attention for a week an' a half...."

"I know you wanted her attention, baby girl, but didn't we talk about this at breakfast?  You have to be patient with her, and I was going to talk to her, remember?"  He took the desk chair and placed it in the center of the floor.  "Anything else?"

"I'm sorry...." Lenore whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "I just didn't think she loved me anymore...."

Elliot sat down and brought his littlest girl into his arms, hugging her tightly.  "I know, kiddo," he said.  He took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.  "Bre's getting older now, and isn't going to want to hang out with you as much, but that doesn't mean she loves you any less.  She'll always be your big sister and she'll always love you as much as you love her, okay?" he said, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I don't want her to get older," Lenore spoke tearfully. "She just leaves me behind. I liked our crazy adventures just fine. Now she's got friends an’ Chris an’ softball an’ the play an’ no time for me at all... An' I hate it."

"I know, but beating her up isn't the way to get her to want to hang out with you, it's just going to get you a sore bottom."

"I really don't like sore bottoms, Daddy....."

He paused for a moment to let her ponder her impending punishment.  "I'm very disappointed in your behavior, Lenore," he said seriously.  "I cannot believe that you would stoop to that level.  You know better than to do those things."

Lenore hung her head, once more staring down at the floor.

He pulled her toward him, then over his lap.  "I'm not going to tolerate this behavior young lady, especially with the violence toward your sister," he scolded, tugging her pants and panties down.

"Daddyyyyy, noooooooo!" Lenore wailed, as she felt her panties go down. "Not bare! Please!"

"I think we've discussed before, that spankings from now on will be bare, and today you've earned it, Young Lady."  He began spanking her with his hand, smacking her bottom mildly, but enough to get his point across.  "You will not sneak into your sister’s things, Lenore," he scolded.  "And you will NOT hurt your sister.  Do you understand me?"

"Yesss!!!!!!" Lenore wailed miserably, her hands flying back immediately.

Elliot took her wrists in his hand and continued the spanking without missing a beat.

Lenore squirmed about, kicking somewhat. "Owww!"

"You don't want Breanna sneaking into your room while you're gone, do you?" he asked, punctuating each word with a hearty swat.

"Noooooooo............." Lenore sobbed. "But she don't like my stuff. Hers is more interestin'........."

"If you don't want her looking through your stuff, then why don't you pay her the same respect?"

"I dunno.........." Lenore cried. "Dad-dyyy...........my bum hurts!"

"I hope you think about this next time you go sneaking through your sister's things," he said firmly.  He then grabbed the hairbrush from her dresser.  "And I hope you think about this next time you decide to attack her."  He smacked the heavy plastic against her bum.

Lenore shrieked loudly, bucking wildly.

He gave her another swat, and then another, and another, until she'd had ten with the hairbrush.  He then rested it against her bottom and said, "Have you learned your lesson young lady?"

"Yessss!!!!!!!!!" Lenore wailed miserably. "I'm sorryyyy!"

Elliot placed the hairbrush back on her dresser, then lifted her up.  "All right kiddo, it's all over now," he said, bringing her in for a hug.

Lenore buried her face into him, crying. "I'm sorry, Daddy...."

He held onto her until there was a slight knock at the door, and Breanna pushed it open.  "Sis, do you wanna come play guitar hero with me now?  I think I got the guitar fixed.  And here's your doll," she said, holding it out.

Lenore gingerly got up off her father's lap, yanking her jeans back up. "Orianna!" She exclaimed, taking her doll from her sister and hugging her tightly. She looked at her sister then. "You still wanna play with me? Even after I bit you?"

"Of course!!  Come on!  I'm so going to win though!" Breanna teased playfully.

Lenore smiled, gently lying Orianna down on her bed. "Nope. I'm going to win. I bet I'm good at the drums."

The two of them hurried off into Breanna’s room then, as Elliot headed back to his own room to finish working.

Story: Tio Ricardo

Misc Story.  Liliana is stuck spending her senior year in Colombia (yes the country) with her uncle and his family.  He's reasonably lenient with his rules, only asking that Lily do well in school, and not bring illegal substances into his house.  But she doesn't care about rules... who abides by those anyway?  Girls who avoid spankings, I guess.

Disclaimer: I do not intend for this story to be a stereotypical Colombian story about drugs... I do understand that Colombia is a beautiful country with loads more than marijuana. In fact, the only reason I chose Colombia is because I happened to be eating a Colombian empanada when I wrote this. So I hope that I don't offend anyone with this story. Enjoy!

Tio Ricardo

by Breanna Carter

My parents came to this brilliant conclusion that I should spend my senior year of high school abroad. They said I needed to be more “cultured”... that I didn't appreciate the little things in life... that I needed to find how to navigate the world without being attached to my cell phone and computer 24/7. I was infuriated. It wasn't fair that they were sending me away for senior year! It was supposed to be the last year I spent with all of my friends before everyone went their separate ways to college!

But they weren't concerned with my social life. In fact, they wanted to kill my social life, because it caused me so many issues... like, um, maybe getting arrested a couple of times. So yeah, that was part of the reason that they shipped me to Colombia.

Nevermind that I didn't know Spanish.

Nevermind that I'd never even met the uncle they were sending me to live with.

Nevermind that my friends couldn't even call me, much less see me.

They didn't care about all of that. They just wanted me to get an education abroad, 'cause it'd look good on my college applications. Whatevs, though. I wasn't concerned with that. Just having fun. But my arguing didn't help, and before I knew it, I was boarding the plan to Bogata, iPod on full blast. I had no idea what to expect... had no idea what Colombia would be like... no idea what my Colombian family would be like. In fact, I only knew one thing about Colombia – it's reputation for drugs.

 *****

“Liliana!! Get up!” I heard the loud whisper in my ear. “We fell asleep. You have to go back home.” I felt my body being nudged, and finally pried open my eyes. Ugh, I'd been dreaming about the flight again. Seemed like every time I got high lately I thought about it, some part of me craving the return home, another part enjoying the blissfulness of this lovely country. Carlos looked down at me, brown eyes gazing into mine. “Good morning, princesa,” he said, kissing my forehead. He took a puff of the joint between his fingers, then handed it to me.

I smiled up at him, taking a puff myself. “What time is it?”

“Five o'clock.”

“Ughhh, fuck. I have school in two hours. And haven't finished my homework.” I pushed myself up, stretching out and yawning, smoking a bit more before handing it back to him.

“You can finish it before your class right?”

“Nah, whatevs. It doesn't matter. I'll do it later. I think I'll just skip again. Can I come by here?”

“Of course,” he said, taking a final hit, giving me a final hit, and putting it out.

I put the hood up to my jacket and followed him out of his house to his car. We'd become kind of an item since I'd met him right after coming to Colombia. He was my best Colombian friend's older brother – a low-profile marijuana dealer who held almost nightly parties. My aunt and uncle had warned me countless of times to stay away from him, but I didn't listen. If I had to be so far away from my friends, I might as well make the best of the time I had in a foreign country... and if I had to make the best of it by smoking, well, so what?

“You need to start doing your school work,” he warned me, adjusting the radio. “Your grades are going to get too low and your uncle will start suspecting something.”

Tio Ricardo only had two rules: no drugs in his house, and do well in school. He didn't care if I stayed out all night, as long as he didn't get any phone calls or letters about school. He didn't care if I smoked with Carlos, as long as I didn't bring any of it home with me. I was on the verge of breaking both of his rules, actually, and was pretty sure that if that happened, there would soon be more than only two rules. I didn't want that to happen, but for some reason, I couldn't help it. I preferred getting high with Carlos and listening to heavy metal all night, cuddling, doing dirty things. It was so much better than studying.

“I know... but school is boring.”

“Yeah, it usually is.”

I yawned and closed my eyes. The mixture of the raindrops and heavy metal were beautiful. I loved Colombia... the rebellion that I'd mastered. And the fact that I was a million miles from home... invincible. And totally stoned. My parents would be appalled.

“See you in a few hours?” Carlos asked as he pulled up to my house.

“Yep,” I answered, kissing his cheek. I pushed the door open and scampered through the rain to my front door. I carefully opened, closed, and relocked the door, trying to climb the stairs as quietly as possible. I knew that my aunt and uncle didn't really care that I'd arrived late, but I was still a bit high and didn't want to have a question and answer session. It would be like That 70s Show. In Spanglish. Hahaha, that would be funny.

After conquering the major task of making it to my room, I felt relieved. I gently closed my door and crawled into bed for the shortest nap ever.

My Tia Angela wasn't nearly as gentle as Carlos was at waking me up in the mornings. She starts at 6am, shouting in English and Spanish in the hallways, until everyone's up and moving. Then she begins breakfast, expecting each of us to be present at exactly 6:30, dressed and ready to go. My shower hardly woke me up, and I just left my hair to dry on its own as I slept an additional fifteen minutes before my little cousin was pounding on my door to come to breakfast. My uniform was sloppy, but I didn't care.

“You look like shit,” the older of my two cousins, Lucia, said to me as I eased down next to her.

“Just tired,” I yawned.

“I heard you come in this morning,” Tio Ricardo said, taking a bite of his eggs. “You stayed out late last night.”

“No worries,” I said, stuffing my face with arepa. “I fell asleep while studying with Elia.”

Lucia giggled. As a 13 year old, she knew more about what I was doing. Mostly because she was nosey, but also because I kinda liked her and we had girl talk sometimes. She had loads of questions, not just about boys, but also about the U.S.

Tio Ricardo gave Lucia a look. “We'll see how you do on the test.”

“I always do fine, remember? I got your family's half of the genes when it comes to intelligence,” I said, smiling.

He smiled, too, and continued eating. Tia Angela wasn't smiling, though. “You need to stop hanging out with that boy,” she told me.

Alberto, the youngest, starting chanting, “Lily has a boy-friend! Lily has a boy-friend!”

“Shut up,” I said. “I do not. He's just a friend, and I wasn't with him. I was with his sister.”

She looked at me doubtfully, sitting down next to Lucia. “I saw you with him this morning.”

“Lily has a boy-friend!”

“Because I was with his sister. He gave me a ride back. Geeze, get off my back about it,” I mumbled, taking a drink of my juice.

“Liliana, that's not the way to speak to your Aunt,” Tio Ricardo scolded.

“Sorry,” I said, not really meaning it. “I need to go. I have to meet Elia before class anyway to talk about this homework.” I took a final bite of my eggs and picked my plate up, putting my dishes in the sink. “See you guys after school.” I threw my backpack over my shoulder, waved goodbye, and skipped out. Thank God that was over.

I took the bus to Carlos's house. He was awake and shirtless, smoking a cigarette and drinking orange juice when I came in. “Elia just left,” he told me.

“I'm so fucking tired.”

He held out his arms, beckoning me forth into a gigantic hug. “Let's get some sleep,” he said.

“Yes, please.”

We climbed the stairs to his room, snuggling close and drifting off. It was an amazing sleep. I felt so safe and warm. I could've stayed in his arms forever.

By the time we woke up, it was almost time for me to head home. I made up my hair and straightened my clothes, then he took me out for empanadas. He left me a couple of blocks from my house with a joint in my pocket. He wouldn't be around that evening, but would see me tomorrow. A kiss to the forehead and he sent me off. I couldn't wait to tear into that joint. But I knew I needed to do homework first.

I said a quick hello to Tia Angela and ran up the stairs. I changed out of my uniform, then plopped on my bed and pulled out the homework I hadn't looked at yet. It was math, my least favorite subject. Fortunately, I was taking a lower level math course, so I already knew most of the material. That way, the Spanish didn't mess me up too much. I relied more on my memory than my teacher.

After about an hour and a half of homework, I decided to take a break. I turned the tv on and opened the window, grabbing the joint out of my bag and lighting up. I smoked near the window so my room wouldn't reek of marijuana. I was almost high when I heard a knock at the door.

Shit. Did the smell waft through the house? Was I caught?

“Just a minute!” I said loudly, trying to fan the smoke out the window. I stubbed out the joint and stuffed it under my mattress, with the bag of weed I had stashed.

“Lily? It's me,” Tio Ricardo said.

I hurried to the door and opened it up, trying to stay normal. I smiled. “Heya.”

He kissed me on the cheek. “How was school today?”

“Was good... and work?” I asked, trying to look as normal as possible.

“It was good, too, thanks,” he said, moving into my room. “What all did you guys do in your classes today? Did you learn anything new?”

This was getting a little weird. “Nah, not really... just math stuff, and I dunno. I don't remember. It was boring. The teachers are boring.” I backed away from him, sitting back on my bed.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Speaking of teachers... guess who I saw on my way home from work?”

I blinked, tummy dropping a little. “Um, a teacher?”

He nodded. “One of your teachers in fact, Mr. Zuniga.” He paused, letting this really uncomfortable feeling spread throughout my body. I squirmed slightly.

“Oh wow, that's great! I'm sure you guys had a great time...” I said, standing up now. “You know what, I just remembered, I really have a lot of homework to do,” I said in a hurry, trying to usher him out of my room.

“Whoa, wait, just a minute,” he said, putting his hands on my shoulders. “Is there anything you need to tell me about school?”

“No... just that I have a lot of...”

“Because Mr. Zuniga and I had a very interesting conversation about you.”

I looked at him a second, trying to think of an excuse.

“You really don't have anything to tell me?” he asked plainly.

“No... I don't think so...”

“Mmm, that's where you're wrong, Young Lady,” he said, closing my door. “You know perfectly well that you haven't been to your classes this week. So let's try this again – why haven't you been to your classes?”

I blinked, stomach dropping. Shit. What was I going to tell him? “Well, I did go... I just got sick... and... yeah...”

“And how can that be if I see you every morning walk out this front door to go to school?”

“I mean, I go, and on my way, I start to feel bad and so I just stop at a friend's house,” I stammered.

“Oh? And do, pray tell, which friend might this be?”

“Well, um, my friend's brother... But same thing.”

“I see,” he said softly, his stare making me feel more uncomfortable than ever. “And if you're so sick, then why are you in here, lying in your bed and watching tv, dressed up to go somewhere?”

“I'm feeling better. But hey, you know, I really have to do this homework...” I tried again.

“No, Young Lady,” he said firmly. “What we need to do is have a talk about responsibility and honesty.”

“But...”

“No buts!” he said, walking to my desk and taking the chair out. “Come here, now.” He placed the chair in the center of my floor space and sat down.

“But whyyyy? I didn't do anything bad!” I whined.

“You were irresponsible and you are lying. But believe me, you will tell me the truth, if I have to spank it out of you,” he said in a warning tone.

“W-what? No please! I'm sorry...”

“I will not repeat myself again. Come here, right now. If I have to get up, it will just be worse.”

“It's just that... I felt bad... I swear... please Tio... don't do this...” I begged, chewing on my fingernail and inching towards him.

“Quickly!” he said in a no-nonsense tone.

I scampered to his side, still chewing on my fingernail.

“You know, I gave you plenty of chances to tell me the truth. You must think that I'm really stupid to believe that you were 'sick',” he said firmly, pulling me closer to him. “But don't worry, you'll see that I get the truth out of you anyway. Pants down,” he ordered.

“W-what?” I stammered, not believing my ears.

“Down, now!”

“But... I...” He gave me a look that shut me up, causing me to turn bright red as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans. My throat was dry and heart pounding. He wasn't really about to do this, was he? I took a deep breath and forced my pants down to about mid-thigh, then felt myself being dragged across his lap. “But, wait, Tio!” I yelped.

“We'll see if you still feel like lying…”

“But I'm telling the truth!” I promised, feeling the first swat on my panty-clad backside. “Owwww! Tioooo!! That hurts!” I howled, reaching my hand back. He grabbed my wrist and continued the spanks. I couldn't help but squirm – it hurt so much more than I'd imagined it! “Please!! I promise, I'm telling the truth!” I howled, trying to dodge the swats.

He ignored me, continuing the spanking. “Mr. Zuniga also told me that you're late on a lot of your homework,” Tio Ricardo said.

“Oooowwwww,” I yelped, kicking my foot up. “That – ow! – hurts!”

“I'm waiting for your explanation about missing classes and not doing homework!” he said forcefully, spanking harder even.

“I told youuuuuu... I was sick! I haven't had the chance to turn in the homework yet!”

He sighed, giving me a few swats to my bare sit spots, causing me to yelp haphazardly.

“Pleaseeeee, Tio Ricardo!!! Please stop!!” I begged.

“Not until I get the truth out of you.”

I whined, kicking some more til my pants were at my ankles and Tio Ricardo gave me some swats to the thighs to get me to stop squirming so much. “But I didn't do anythinggggg!” I swore.

“Mmm,” he said, lifting me up. I let out a sigh of relief – until he said, “get those panties down.”

I gave him a blank stare, as if I hadn't understood what he said.

“Now,” he said, brown eyes staring deep into mine.

I rubbed my stinging bottom. “But Tio Ricardo... I've already told you... I was sick...!” I backed up slightly, determined not to get spanked anymore... especially on the bare! How embarrassing!

“Liliana,” he said firmly, “panties down.”

I whined loudly and stomped my foot, tears spilling from my eyes. “But I didn't...!” I began, only to be cut off by a sharp swat to my bottom. Within seconds, Tio Ricardo was pulling me back to him, then I felt him tug my panties down. My face blushed bright red.

“Over my lap,” he ordered, to which I complied, still crying.

“Tio... please...” I begged solemnly.

He began the spanking again, this time spanking me a million times harder. By the third swat, I was squirming so much that he had to pin me down, raining down a rapid fire of swats to my bare bottom. “Are you ready to tell the truth yet?” he asked me.

“I ammmmmm!” I managed to choke out from sobs.

“Mmm,” he said, continuing the spanking.

I kicked slightly, crying harder as I realized that he really wasn't going to stop until he got the truth out of me – just like he'd said. He wasn't going to believe my pathetic lie about being sick. I shouldn't have even tried with that... “Okay!” I yelped. “Okayyyy, I didn't go to classssss,” I cried.

“And why didn't you?” he wanted to know, still spanking me.

“Because... owwww... I hadn't finished my... ayeee!... homework yet!”

He gave me a few more swats on my sit spots, then stopped for a moment. “You know that I'm not very strict with you. I let you get away with almost anything. But when it comes to your school, that is something I will not tolerate, Young Lady, do you understand?” he asked, giving me a few more swats.

They took me by surprise and I cried out with each. “Yes sir!”

“I also do not appreciate you lying to me,” he said seriously, swatting me a little more.

“I'm sorryyyy! I won't do it againnnn!” I promised.

He stopped spanking and lifted me up. I wiped the tears out of my eyes, still crying a little. “We could've avoided this whole situation if you had just told me the truth from the beginning,” he said, standing up and looking down at me.

I rubbed my bum and nodded. “I'm sorry,” I said as I sniffled. “I won't lie anymore.”

“You better not. Now get to the corner and think about what you did – and tomorrow you will apologize to your teachers for skipping their classes.”

“Yes sir,” I said weakly, defeated. I stooped down to fetch my pants and panties to pull them back up, but Tio Ricardo stopped me.

“You don't need those yet,” he said. “You can put them on after your corner time.”

I whined a bit but didn't fuss, just went to the corner as told, leaning my head against the wall and trying to ease my cries. I felt so embarrassed and ridiculous... it was like I'd turned from 17 to 7 in a matter of seconds. And the worst part was that everyone in the house had probably heard the spanking. Ugh... how awful.

But not as awful as what happened next... I'm not sure the exact details... but it seemed like Tio Ricardo sat down on my bed, then stood up, then started shuffling through something, and then all of a sudden I heard him bellow “Liliana Marie Espinoza!”

I shivered.

“Come here, right now!”

I turned to see the bag of weed in his hands, looking more pissed off than ever. “Wait... I can explain...” I began quickly. “My friend wanted me to keep it for her... so I did... but it's for her... I didn't smoke any!”

His teeth clenched, he said, “over here, NOW!”

I began crying again and moved a little closer to him. “I'm sorry,” I pleaded. “Please, I don't want another spanking...”

“I'm about to give you a good reason to cry,” he told me, taking his belt off. “Now come here, and don't make me repeat myself again.”

“Noooo, pleaseeeee,” I cried.

“Last chance, and believe me, if I have to come get you, it will be a thousand times worse.”

Defeated, I shuffled to him, tears still falling. He put my pillows on the side of the bed, and bent me over them to where my bottom was up in the air and my feet were hanging off the bed. “Please,” I tried again. “I won't do it again...”

“You have no idea how disappointed I am with you, young lady,” he said. “I never thought that you'd use drugs! And bring them into this house! With Lucia and Alberto here! That is VERY disrespectful.” His words pierced me, and I cried more into my blankets. “After we're allowing you to stay in our house, after we've provided so much for you, this is what you do? I knew I smelt something funny coming from in here. And now I see what it was – you were smoking drugs.”

“I'm sorry...”

“I don't want to hear it,” he snapped. “You're about to feel what sorry really is. I'm going to make sure that you stop smoking this shit... and you'll remember it every time you sit down.” He landed the lash to my already sore bottom, causing me to cry out and reach back. “Every day for a week after class, this is where you'll find yourself. Move your hand!” I quickly moved it, crying in despair. What could I say? I guess I did kind of deserve it. He had told me not to bring drugs in his house, and I did. I should've known it would come to something like this.

He landed a few more swats with the belt, covering both of my bottom cheeks and sit spots. I was howling and squirming like crazy, wishing this were over already. I was sobbing too hard to really say anything. And I was mortified! If my cousins didn't already know about my other spanking, they'd surely know about this one! And the fact that I'd be getting one every day for a week!

“I don't know how your parents have been raising you, but in this house, when I have a rule, you will follow it Liliana Marie, do you understand?”

“Yes sirrrrr!” I howled. “I will follow the rulesssss I promise!”

“Because I will not hesitate to take this belt off again.”

I sobbed and sobbed into the blankets of my bed, receiving the last of my punishment as best as possible. I didn't even notice that he'd finished, and probably would've kept my face buried into my now-wet blankets had he not lifted me back up.

He lifted my chin and said, “Look at me.”

I sniffled, wiped the tears away, hiccuping and trying to settle my sobs. Then I peered up at him, seeing that look of disappointment that made me want to start crying all over again.

“I don't want you to ever touch this shit again,” he told me, pointing to the bag of weed. “In fact, I want you to stand in the corner and think about what's going to happen to you the next week, and about how you're not going to smoke anymore, and then you can re-dress yourself and flush the marijuana down the toilet.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. I wiped my tears and went to the corner as told, still crying a little. I stood there, regaining my composure and eventually my breathing became normal again. I sniffled and wiped my face and thought about exactly what Tio Ricardo had asked me to – the fact that I was going to get punished like this every day for a week. The thought really scared me, and made me honestly never want to smoke ever ever again.

Finally, he called me over. I eased my panties up and decided to change into my pj pants – it wasn't like I was going to go anywhere after being punished like that! Then he handed me the bag and led me to the bathroom. I dumped the contents of the bag into the toilet. I felt shitty... for everything. Part of me felt bad for smoking and making my uncle so upset. Another part of me really didn't want to flush the weed. And even a part of me wondered if I really was going to stop smoking for good. But as I pushed down the handle and watched the dark green matter swirl down the drain, I figured I'd at least try to behave. He did have a point... they were doing a lot for me and it was pretty disrespectful to bring drugs into the house.

Oh, and the fact that I accidentally bumped the door with my bum when I backed up... that probably had something to do with me deciding not to smoke anymore.

Tio Ricardo gave me a big hug. “Now, get your homework finished,” he said, swatting me on the bottom and sending me to my room.

“Yes, sir,” I said, wiping the last tear away and scampering off. Good thing I could do my homework while lying on my tummy.

Story: Never Again, Part II

Part of the Jessica/Katelyn series.  A continuation to Never Again, Part I (obviously).  Find out what happens next :P

**Self-injury themes presented in this story.   Not suitable for those who may get triggered or offended by such material.**

Never Again Part II
by Mackenzie

Katelyn ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind her after everything was over with and done. I was shocked. It wasn’t like her to act this way. I thought after such a trying day, things would be okay after I had taken care of everything. Well, apparently they weren’t. I had tried to comfort her afterwards like I always do, had tried to make sure she was alright, but she wouldn’t have any of it. She just pushed me away and ran towards the bathroom. Something told me things weren’t right, but even with Katelyn’s history, I never would have expected what I found behind that door.

“Katelyn,” I began knocking, “Katelyn, open up this door.”

All I could hear behind the door was sobbing and then rummaging through something. I don’t know what it was, but I knew I had to get in there. I quickly ran into my room and went to Daniel’s and my dresser. On top of it there was a metal container with coins inside. I opened the lid of that metal container and grabbed the first coin I could then ran back to the bathroom door and inserted the coin into the tiny slot on the knob, turning the coin with it and opening the door. The first thing I saw when I walked in was Katelyn standing there pathetically, a razor in her hand, cuts all up and down her arms and legs and then I noticed her wrist was cut up especially bad. Even if I wasn’t a doctor I’d know how horrible this was.

The first words that came out of my mouth were, “Oh my God. What have I done?” as she collapsed to the ground and then I started crying. Spanking her before had never resulted in this. How had it resulted in something like this now? It didn’t make any goddamn sense.

I wanted to kneel down beside her and just hold her but even in a moment like this, I knew I had to stop the bleeding. There were ratty towels in the hall closet. I quickly went there and grabbed as many towels, even if they weren’t ratty, as I could then ran back to the bathroom and started wrapping them tightly around the various cuts, applying pressure. I focused mainly on the wrist. If she died, it would be because she lost too much blood from the veins in her wrist. “Katelyn, don’t die on me,” I cried, as I held onto her tightly. “I can’t lose you too.”

Suddenly I heard a door slam below and Daniel call up to me, “We’re home!”

“Daniel! Daniel!” I choked out in tears. “Hurry up here! I need your help! Katelyn and I are in the bathroom!” I could barely get the words out without sobbing.

I heard running up the stairs and then saw Daniel appear in the doorway, Jessica right behind him. “Oh my God,” he said in disbelief. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” I cried. “I just punished her and then she ran in here and she started cutting, I guess.” I paused. “Daniel, we have to stop the bleeding now or she’ll die. I can’t lose her,” I sobbed. “I can’t lose her.”

“I’m going to call 911,” Daniel said to me then quickly punched the numbers into his phone. I sobbed still and buried my face into Katelyn’s hair, still applying pressure to the wounds. I had tied towels and rags around the wounds I couldn’t apply pressure to. Jessica stood in the doorway, dumbfounded, a look of disbelief on her face. She was shaking her head, not believing the sight before her.

“Why?” Jessica asked without really expecting any real answer. “Why?”

I shook my head back, “I don’t know.”

“911, this is an emergency. My husband’s sister was found in our bathroom unconscious with cuts all over her body and severe cuts on her wrist. She’s bleeding very heavily right now. Please send an ambulance. It’s urgent.” There was a pause. “Thank you.” Daniel hung up the phone. “They’re on their way,” he said.

I nodded, still crying. “Jessica, can you go get Katelyn’s shorts from my room?” I asked, trying to remain calm.

She nodded solemnly and went off to my bedroom, grabbing Katelyn’s shorts and coming back. “Thank you,” I said then proceeded to gently put them on over her legs while still applying pressure to her wrist, which was where she was bleeding from most. Some of the cuts had already stopped bleeding, so that was good, but her wrist was not done bleeding and I knew if she was, God forbid, going to die, then it would be from loss of blood from there. I wanted to move her downstairs, but I knew it would be best to let the paramedics do that.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. “I’ll go get it,” Daniel told us.

Within moments the paramedics were coming up the stairs with a stretcher behind them. They started asking me questions that I wasn’t able to answer because I wasn’t calm enough. Daniel, already knowing enough, answered them for me. Before I knew it they were putting her on the stretcher and carrying her down the steps.

“You ride in the ambulance with Katelyn. Jessica and I will drive,” Daniel said to me.

I nodded solemnly as Daniel put his arms around me and gave me a hug. “It’ll be okay,” he told me. “She’ll be alright.”

I nodded again, letting out another sob, “Thanks, Dan.”

“I’ll see you there,” he said gently as he closed the door behind us and I got into the ambulance behind Katelyn. They closed the doors quickly and soon the sirens were blaring and we were on our way to the hospital. The entire way, all I could think was don’t let her die, just don’t let her die.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The ride to the hospital was a complete blur. I couldn’t believe that we had only been gone from the hospital for about 2 hours or so and we were already going back. I didn’t envision my day happening like this. First, Jessica gets beat up by Katelyn and we have to be there for the majority of the day. Then, I come back home and after everything is supposedly taken care of, my other sister ends up cutting herself incessantly and going unconscious. Lovely. Perfect. This was just how I wanted things to turn out.

Soon enough, we were pulling up to the emergency room and they were opening up the doors of the ambulance, lowering Katelyn out of the vehicle as quickly as they could. I followed behind them as they went through the doors and into the emergency room, through the hallways and into a room. I stood there, dumbfounded, as they began to stop the bleeding. I should have been able to do this myself at home but the cuts were too severe and too many. I’d seen girls (and some boys) come into the clinic with cuts like this before but never had I seen something this horrible. And to think that this was my sister, my baby sister. It was too hard to believe. All the same, it was true, and I was seeing her here, unconscious in a hospital room, closer to death than I had ever seen anyone who meant so much to me before.

I needed to sit down. This was too much. Yeah, I was a doctor and I had been for a few years now but this wasn’t just anybody we were talking about. This was Katelyn. This was my sister, my family. Now that our parents were dead, I was responsible and something inside of me kept asking, what did I do wrong? And if it wasn’t those words running through my mind then it was, I’m sorry, mom and dad. I’m so sorry. I tried. I’m trying. I’m sorry I can’t be better. God this is all my fault. I wish I could do more. Don’t let her die. And those thoughts just kept replaying in my head over and over as I sat down on a chair, hoping for the best and praying that she hadn’t lost too much blood. Before too long though, I was sent out to wait in the ER waiting room. I guess I was too much of a distraction from the matter at hand. I guess that made sense, though, seeing as I was pretty hysterical from the moment I had set foot in that bathroom.

When I came out into the waiting room, Daniel was sitting there waiting for me, just as he had been waiting there for me before. Only instead of Katelyn waiting with him this time, it was Jessica, with her cast and everything. I sat down beside Daniel and put my head in my hands. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take.

“How’s she holding out?” Daniel asked.

I shook my head, “I don’t know. They rushed me out of there because I was too much of a distraction.”

Daniel began rubbing my back, “I’m sure she’ll be fine. They know what they’re doing.”

“So do I. But for some odd reason I wasn’t able to do anything.”

“Robert, this isn’t your fault. You did what you could and had you not done what you did she may have been dead by now.”

“I guess you’re right,” I replied, sighing heavily.

There were several moments of silence among us before I finally spoke again. Jessica had gone to the bathroom, so I felt that it was a right time to bring this conversation up. “I’m never spanking either one of them again,” I said.

“Wait a second; you want to cut that punishment out entirely?” Daniel asked.

“Yes. I do. After this happened, no way am I going to spank them again. It’s not worth the risk.”

Daniel paused. “I agree.”

“You do?” I was surprised. I hadn’t expected Daniel to agree, though I suppose that does make sense.

“It makes perfect sense. We can do something a little safer. I’m sure it will have the same effect; at least I hope it does. Spankings clearly aren’t working for Katelyn and I wouldn’t want to risk something like this happening with Jessica or Katelyn again. We can do essays or lines or grounding or more chores, anything but what we’ve been doing, since it clearly isn’t working anymore. I’m not sure it ever was anyway.”

I nodded. “You’re right. I’m not sure they’ve really taught Katelyn anything. And clearly it didn’t help the cause tonight when she did this. And Jessica, well, we can’t take them away from Katelyn’s discipline and not take them away from Jessica’s. That just wouldn’t be fair.”

“So we’re agreed then?”

I nodded. “We’re agreed. No more spankings, ever.”

As if on cue, Jessica walked in right after I said that and sat down.

“Any updates on Katelyn?” she asked. This was the first time she had said anything since coming to the hospital. She had been unusually quiet. Odd since quiet wasn’t a word I would use to describe her.

“No, not yet,” I replied. “No one has come out to tell us what’s going on. I’m starting to get worried.”

Yet again, as if on cue, the doctor who had helped with Jessica came out to tell us what was going on with Katelyn. Weird how it was the same exact doctor from before. She took in a deep breath before speaking then let it out in a smile and said, “Everything’s going to be alright. She’s stabilized and breathing. Her vitals are good and surprisingly she only lost a pint of blood. That is much less than I would have expected considering the amount of blood that was coming out.” She paused. “Robert, you got to her just in time. Had you not applied pressure to those wounds, she probably would have died.”

I smiled. “Thank you for everything.” I paused a brief moment before saying, “Can we go back to see her?”

Dr. O’Brien smiled politely. “Of course you can,” she said. “Follow me.”

“Come on, Jessica,” I said gently, reaching out my hand towards her. “Let’s go.”

She grabbed my right hand with her left hand weakly and followed myself and Daniel back to the room Dr. O’Brien was leading us to.

“She’s right in here,” she told us, pointing through the doorway. I saw that they had moved her to a regular room and out of the emergency room. That had to be a good sign. It meant that she was fairly stabilized.

“I’ll leave the three of you alone with her.”

“Thank you, Dr. O’Brien,” I said politely and truly gratefully.

“Of course. It’s my job.” She smiled again.

I sat down in the chair beside Katelyn’s hospital bed. Bandages covered both her arms entirely and her wrist extensively. I’m sure her legs were the exact same. I placed my hand gently on top of hers and spoke her name in a very soft voice, “Katelyn, honey, can you hear me?”

And then, her eyes opened, slowly but surely.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I opened my eyes, expecting to see the darkness of my room and to hear Jessica’s snoring beside me, only to be surprised and find that I was in a bright white room with IVs hooked up to my arm and in what appeared to be a hospital bed. The first person I saw was Robert, his bright emerald green eyes staring at me with deep concern and his hand lying gently on top of mine.

I struggled to get the words I wanted to say out of my mouth, “What… why… what… what happened?”

“Shh,” he said gently. “Don’t over-exert yourself. You’ve already been through a lot. I’ll explain what happened.” He paused. “Do you remember what you did to Jessica?”

“Yes,” I replied sadly.

“Do you remember how I punished you after we got back home from the hospital?”

I nodded. I didn’t want to remember, but I did.

“Well, afterwards, I tried to comfort you and make sure you were alright but you kept telling me to stop touching you. I was shocked and tried to figure out what was wrong but you wouldn’t answer my question. Instead you ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind you. I told you to open the door but you wouldn’t so I went to go get a coin and open up the bathroom door. I found you with a razor in your hand and cuts all over your body. Then you fell out of consciousness and fainted. I went to go grab towels to stop the bleeding because your wrist was bleeding especially badly and I knew I had to stop the bleeding if you were going to live. Daniel and Jessica came home. We called the paramedics. You were rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and they stopped the bleeding as fast as they could. Luckily, you only lost a pint of blood, which is surprising, given the amount of bleeding that was happening. Had I not gotten to you in time, you may have been dead right now, Kate.”

“I’m sorry, Robert,” I said.

“Shh, honey, it’s alright. Don’t worry about it.” He put a hand on my head and brushed the hair out of my face. “You’re alive and that’s all that matters.”

I nodded, too weak to say anything else.

“Get some rest, hon.” He kissed the top of my forehead. “We’ll be here.”

I nodded again and closed my eyes once more, happy to have a chance to sleep, even if it was under these circumstances.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I smiled as Katelyn closed her eyes and went to sleep. She was alive. She was okay. Sure, she would be weak for a few days and yes, I’m sure she was emotionally and mentally drained and that she probably had way more mental issues than I thought she did. But she was alive and that was all that mattered.

“Dr. Parker, can I speak with you for a moment?” I turned around to see Dr. O’Brien in the doorway, her smile illuminating the whole room.

“Yeah,” I answered. “Sure.”

I walked towards the doorway and out into the hall while Daniel and Jessica stayed in the room with Katelyn. Suddenly it dawned upon me that they probably wondered what caused Katelyn to do this to herself and then I worried about what they would think when I told them the truth and while it wasn’t illegal to use corporal punishment in New York, I still had this irrational thought in my head for a brief moment that they’d take Katelyn and Jessica away from me. I couldn’t bear that thought so I tried to push it away, to no avail. It just kept coming back.

“Dr. Parker, I’m sure that you are being an excellent guardian but I need to ask you, what caused Katelyn to do this? Did something happen between the two of you when you got home?”

I smiled gently and wistfully. “Dr. O’Brien, this isn’t exactly something I’m comfortable sharing with you as I try to keep most family matters private but Daniel and I do use spanking as a form of punishment on the girls. Katelyn had beaten up Jessica earlier and when we came home I punished her in that manner. I guess something must have snapped inside of her and she just ran into the bathroom and started cutting.” I paused. “She hasn’t exactly been open with me on how she’s been feeling. We were going to start sending her to a therapist because she’s been showing self-destructive behavior in other ways like not eating enough but we just haven’t gotten the chance yet.”

“I see,” Dr O’Brien replied. “Well, we just needed to know. I didn’t expect any abuse to be happening at home but I had to make sure that it wasn’t a possibility.”

“No, ma’am. Most definitely not.” I paused. “I’m just trying to take care of my sisters as best as I can.”

“I understand.” She took a deep breath in and then sighed. “Within a few hours Katelyn should be able to go home. She’s stabilized enough and just needs to gain a little bit of energy back and then we will release her under the condition that you will sign a contract saying you will start sending her to therapy and also send her to a psychiatrist.” She briefly paused again. “I wouldn’t be surprised if your sister had a mood disorder of some type.”

“I fully intend on sending her. After this, there’s no question about it.”

She smiled again. “Good,” she replied. “I’m glad. Now I’ll leave you alone with your family.”

“Thank you so much for everything, Dr. O’Brien. First with Jessica and now with Katelyn. I can’t thank you enough.”

“Hey, it’s my job. What can I say?”

I laughed a little, “I know.”

“I’ll bring back the papers later for you to sign, Dr. Parker.”

“Thank you, again.”

“Of course.”

With that she left and I walked back into the room and stood beside Jessica who was sitting down in the chair beside Katelyn. It didn’t take me long to notice the tears running down her face. “I’m sorry, Katelyn,” she mouthed silently and then laid her head on the bed beside our sleeping sister.

“Hey now, Jess. It’s fine. Everything’s okay.” I squatted down beside her. “This isn’t your fault, okay?”

She shook her head, still crying. “It doesn’t matter if it is or not. I’m still sorry.”

“Jessica, look at me,” I said.

She looked up at me hesitantly.

“This is not your fault and Katelyn is alive and okay. That’s all that matters. And tomorrow we’re going to put all of this behind us and we’re going to move forward, alright?”

She nodded, again a little hesitantly, being much more compliant than she normally is. I couldn’t tell if that was a good sign or not. “Alright.”

I wrapped my arms around her gently and engulfed her in a tight hug. “I love you, sis. I love you so much.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck and nodded, still crying, tiny little sobs escaping from her mouth.

“Shh, shh…” I rubbed her back. “Everything’s gonna be alright, baby.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I know.”

Meanwhile, Daniel just stood there watching us, letting me have this moment with the sister I had never been close to, which bothered me. I had always wished I could take back those years of taunting, that there was some way I could make it up to her, some way I could make it so it never happened. I knew she didn’t hate me but I knew she resented me and the fact that I was raising her now. Still, I think things were getting better. At least, I hope they were. If they weren’t, I would have been pretty upset, more so than I already was.

Soon enough, Jessica calmed down enough to where she wasn’t crying and I could let go of her.

“So she’ll be okay?” Jessica asked.

I smiled at her gently, “She’ll be just fine, baby.”

She looked over at her twin. I knew she missed how their relationship used to be. “Good,” she said. “That makes me feel better.”

I smiled again. I just hoped that things would be okay for long enough.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

When I woke up again the only person there was Jessica, sitting by my side, looking at me.

“Hey,” I said in a hoarse voice.

“Hi,” she replied. “How are you feeling?”

“Weak. Dizzy. Tired.” I paused. “Where are Daniel and Robert?”

“They went to go sign some papers and to sign you out. They said that as soon as you woke up, we’d probably be able to go.”

I nodded and there were a few minutes of silence between us before I spoke up. “Look, Jess, I’m really sorry. First I beat you up and put you in the hospital and then I scared you by doing this. I didn’t mean any of it, Jess. I really didn’t. And I’m so sorry.” I almost broke on my last few words.

“It’s fine, Kate. I understand.”

“No, it’s not fine.”

“Yes, it really is.” She paused. “You’re alive and like Robert said, that’s all that matters.” She paused again. “We thought we were going to lose you for sure. It’s a miracle you’re alive and none of us could be happier that you are.” She smiled softly at me. “I love you so much, Kate. I don’t tell you that enough.”

“I love you too, Jess.”

At that exact moment Daniel and Robert walked in. “You finally wake up, sleepyhead,” Daniel teased.

I wistfully smiled. “Yeah,” I said. “I woke up.”

“How you feeling, hon?” he asked.

“Weak. Dizzy. Still tired.”

“I’d imagine so,” he replied. “It’s probably to be expected after that ordeal.”

“Yeah,” I whispered sadly then paused and said, “When can we go home?”

“As soon as you’re unhooked from all these contraptions!” Robert half yelled, trying to joke around with me to make me feel better. I’m not sure it really did any good.

“Yay…” I faked enthusiasm. I was too tired to really be enthusiastic.

“Katelyn,” Daniel said, trying to cheer me up. “Lighten up. You’re going home!”

“Yeah, I know,” I told him. “I’m just super duper tired.”

He nodded. “It’s understandable.”

As soon as he said that, a nurse walked in to unhook me from everything, quietly. She said very little… just unhooked me from all the machines and took the IVs out and told me to never do something like this again and that she didn’t want to see us in this hospital any time soon. I nodded at everything she said, agreeing so as not to cause any trouble. I didn’t want to disagree. It was too much work.

Robert had apparently gone to get a wheelchair from the clinic while I was sleeping at some point and had brought it in for us to use. He told me to sit down in it, not really giving me much of a choice and wheeled me out to the car and gently lifted me up then placed me in the backseat, being careful of my wrist especially. I ached all over and so many inches of my skin burned. I guess that’s what happened when you cut yourself up so badly.

Soon enough, we were out of the hospital parking lot and on our way home. It was light outside and I assumed we had been there the entire night and that it was now somewhere around 7 or 8 in the morning. We got home within a matter of 10 minutes, sooner than I would have expected. As soon as we got home, Robert came to my side with the wheelchair and lifted me up then put me into it, taking me up to the front door and making sure I got inside safely. I tried to get up on my own to walk up the stairs but he wouldn’t let me. His overprotective older brother side was coming out.

“Katelyn, I don’t want you walking up those stairs on your own. Let me carry you up there.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine,” I said.

He lifted me up and carried me to my bed, gently placing me down on it. I didn’t have any shoes on, so I didn’t worry about it. He tucked me in and kissed my forehead gently. “Get some sleep, sweetie. I’ll wake you up in a few hours.”

I fell asleep for the third time in the past 12 hours. It was probably the first actual restful sleep I had gotten since going into the hospital.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I woke Katelyn gently from her sleep at around 1:30 in the afternoon. I figured she would need more sleep later but that this was enough for now. “Katelyn, honey, you need to wake up. Daniel and I need to talk to you and Jessica.”

She slowly rose up and looked over at Jessica whom Daniel was waking up at that moment. She rubbed her eyes weakly. “What do you need to talk to us about?” she asked.

“Hold on a second, hon.” I paused then called over to Jessica. “Jessica, can you come over here, baby?”

She nodded weakly but then asked, “What do you guys want to talk to us about?” as she walked over with Daniel and sat down next to Katelyn.

I took in a deep breath. It’s not like what I was about to tell them would disappoint them but I was worried that trying other punishments wouldn’t work as well and that if they felt they wouldn’t get spanked for what they did wrong then they would just do whatever the hell they felt like but they had to know what was in store for them. It just wouldn’t be right otherwise. “Daniel and I have decided, after what happened with Katelyn, that we won’t be spanking either one of you anymore again. They’re over with and done. No more.”

I paused, waiting for their reactions and Jessica was the first one to vocalize her thoughts.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was shocked. What? No more spankings? I wasn’t sure if I liked that thought or not. Yeah, they hurt but I always felt better afterwards. That must sound weird to most people but it’s like I felt forgiven afterwards and I was worried if they switched to other punishments, I wouldn’t feel forgiven anymore. What happened with this last spanking was a freak accident. I’d just been messed up since school ended, that was all. And it wouldn’t happen again, right? Right? Yeah, it wouldn’t happen again because Daniel and Robert would never use that punishment on us again.

Jessica was clearly just as shocked as I was because she said, “Wait… wait a second. What? You’re not going to spank us anymore.”

“No,” Daniel said. “We’re not.”

“But that doesn’t mean there won’t be any punishments when you do the wrong thing,” Robert replied.

“It just means we’ll use something else,” said Daniel.

“Like grounding or essays,” added Robert.

“Or lines or more chores,” Daniel added again.

“But no more spankings,” said Robert, “Ever again. It’s not worth the risk.” He paused. “Are you two okay with that?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jessica said a little overenthusiastically. “I’m perfectly fine with it.”

I stared off into space, a little sad. “Katelyn?” Robert said in a questioning tone, trying to bring me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m fine with it.” Even though I really wasn’t.

“Okay,” Robert said. “It’s settled then. No more spankings in this house.”

No more spankings. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe it would be great.

Who was I kidding? I had a bad feeling about the next few months ahead and as much as I tried to ignore it, I would turn out to be right. This wouldn’t work and things would end up much worse than they had already been with the spankings.

This wasn’t going to be easy… not even in the slightest.

Story: Never Again, Part I

Part of the Jessica/Katelyn Series.  It's summer and Katelyn is having difficulties with channeling her anxieties to positive energy.  On a particularly bad day, she gets frustrated with her twin and does something that we would normally expect out of Jessica.


**Self-injury themes presented in the latter parts of this story.   Not suitable for those who may get triggered or offended by such material.**

Never Again Part I
by Mackenzie

It was summer and school had been out for a couple of weeks. I’d successfully finished the year with all A’s. Despite that close encounter with the B-, I made it out with nearly perfect grades. Things were looking up with Jessica too. After that whole thing with the school and unwarranted searches, we’d been getting along better than ever. It was awesome. I felt like I had my sister back, almost. But anyways, to move on with the story: it was summer, which naturally meant do nothing, eat and drink what you want when you want, stay up late and break rules. Well, I did everything except for the first and last ones. Haha, that’s probably what got me into trouble. So scratch the not breaking rules. I did that one too. Oh and the doing nothing, I probably actually did that one as well. So I did all four. Haha, just don’t listen to me. It’s something you should have learned by now.

So it had been exactly two weeks and one day since school had been let out, a Saturday. It was sometime in the early afternoon and I was downstairs in the kitchen, getting a mountain dew, for like the fourth or fifth time. Which honestly, was pretty ridiculous, since it was only 12:41 and it was already my fourth caffeinated drink. And Robert called me out on it.

“Katelyn,” he said. “How many of those have you had?”

“This is only my second.” I blatantly lied.

“Uh huh,” he replied, turning the page of the newspaper he was reading, “And I’m not a doctor. Put it back, Katelyn.”

“But Robert,” I whined.

“Katelyn, put it back now. I’m not going to ask you again.” He said sternly.

“But it really is only my second.”

“You’re about as good at lying as I am at drawing.” He looked at me. “Now put it back. You’ve had enough caffeine for the day. You don’t need more.”

I gave an exasperated sigh, “Fine. It’s not like I wanted it anyway.”

“Watch the attitude, Kate.”

I rolled my eyes and muttered to myself, “Whatever.” Then I stormed off and went to my room, slamming the door behind me. Jessica looked up from the magazine she was reading, a questioning look on her face. “I hate Robert.” I said as I plopped backwards onto my bed.

“That’s a first,” she replied. “I see you finally joined the dark side.”

I sighed.

“Why exactly do you hate Robert again?”

“He yelled at me for grabbing a soda.” She looked at me strangely as I paused. “I know, I know, right? It’s childish and stupid, but don’t I get to be like that for once?” She blinked at me nonchantantly. I gave an exasperated, moaning sigh and screamed into my pillow. “Just shut up, Jessica.”

“I didn’t say anything. I was just si-“

“Shut up!”

“Ok, geeze,” she said, offended, “No need to be a bitch about it.”

“Don’t call me a fucking bitch!” I screamed.

“Then don’t be one!” Jessica screamed back.

I glared at her, “Fuck you!”

“Fuck you right back!”

“Jessica, I swear to God...”

“You swear to God what?”

“I will fucking hit you if you don’t shut the fuck up!”

“Go right on ahead then! See if I care!” She screamed in a sarcastic tone of voice.

“Fine!” I roared as I ran across the room and literally attacked her, tackling her to the ground. “I will!” I screamed as I pulled at her hair and kicked her. She was kicking and punching me right back.

That was when I heard knocking on the door and shouting from the other side. “Jessica Lynne, Katelyn Rose, you’d better open this door right now if you know what’s good for you!” But I didn’t listen, I just kept punching and kicking her, that is, until the door swung open and I felt my brother’s strong arms lift me up and pull me away from my sister. But he wasn’t gentle about it at all. In fact he pushed me away from her into a corner. “Katelyn Rose, you stay right there, and I mean it!” he said, as he went over to tend to my sister. It wasn’t until he had pushed me there that I had seen the damage done. Blood was streaming from Jessica’s head and nose all the way down. Her left eye was swollen and black and she was breathing heavily. I started sobbing. Had I really done that?

Robert looked at Jessica, then looked at me in disbelief, glaring at me. “Katelyn Rose Parker, I cannot believe you. We’re going to have a long talk about this after I take care of your sister.” I couldn’t believe me either. It wasn’t in my nature to do such a thing. I stared down at my hands; there was blood on them. And that’s when I really broke and fell down to the floor, burying my face in my arms. How could I do that? I didn’t even know I was capable of it.

From across the room I could hear Robert talking to Jessica, but she didn’t answer. “Calm down, Jess. It’s ok. You’re gonnna be ok, I promise.” I lifted my face from my arms, seeing Robert cradling Jessica in his arms and rubbing her back. She was still bleeding. Her eye was more swollen than before. Robert lifted her up, carrying her to the open door. “Katelyn, come with us.” I didn’t say or do anything. I just sat there until he said, “NOW.” Then I got up. “You’re coming with us to the ER and you can explain what happened to them there. I’m not doing it.” I started to speak but he stopped me. “No buts about it. You did this to her. You can explain to them why and how.” I dropped my head down, letting more tears fall. How could I be so mean? “Follow me,” he said, rushing down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab his keys, then out the door. We ran to the car and got in as he unlocked the doors. “In the back, Katelyn,” he told me as he gently placed Jessica in the front seat and buckled her seatbelt, and then raced over to his side, turning the keys in the ignition and pulling out of the driveway as quickly as he could legally. Once we were on the main road, he threw his phone back to me and ordered me to call Daniel.

I dialed the number quickly, punching with force, tears still rolling down my face. It took only three rings before Daniel picked up the phone, “Hey, honey, what’s up?” he answered.

“It’s Katelyn.” I replied, sobbing, barely getting the words up.

“Whoa, hon, calm down… what’s wrong?”

“I… I… Jessica…” I just broke down sobbing.

“Just breathe, Kate. Just breathe.”

“Can you please just come to the hospital?” I cried, managing to get at least that much out.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Jessica… I… I…” I broke down sobbing again.

“Oh for God sakes,” Robert yelled, “Just hand me the damn phone!” That got me crying even more. Robert NEVER spoke to me like that. But, I handed him the phone anyway, not wanting to make things worse than they already were.

“Daniel, you need to come to the hospital as soon as you can.” He paused. “Why? Because Katelyn literally beat up Jessica, that’s why. And she’s hurt really badly… yes, I know… well, it doesn’t matter. It’s over with, it’s done. Now we have to get Jess to the hospital as fast as we can. I think her arm might be broken and she might need stitches, hell, I don’t even know if she’s conscious or not… hon, I can’t talk anymore. Just meet us there as fast as you can. Okay, love you, bye.” He hung up the phone. “Katelyn, words cannot describe how disappointed I am in you right now.” Robert said.

“I’m sorry,” I cried out through my tears.

“Not as sorry as you’ll be after I’m through with you.” He stated as we pulled into the ER parking lot and into a space. The moment he said that, all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. I’d never seen him so angry before… ever. “Get out of the car, Katelyn.” Robert ordered, slamming his own door behind him and rushing to get my possibly unconscious sister out of her seat. She hadn’t said a word the entire ride and she hadn’t cried. There wasn’t a noise coming out of her other than heavy breathing. This was awful. What had I done? I did as my brother said, closing my own door behind me and rushing with him through the ER doors.

Everything that happened within the next hour was a complete and total blur. I remember Robert yelling for somebody to help us and I remember watching them rush Jessica into a room and hooking up IVs and stuff to her body as Robert followed. I remember sitting down and talking with one of the nurses and explaining to them what happened or trying to but crying hysterically instead. And I remember sitting in the waiting room afterwards, my sobs still not dying down. And then I remember Daniel coming and sitting there with me, trying to comfort me. But the details of that hour are completely lost in my mind.

It wasn’t until a few hours after we had first gotten there that Robert came out into the waiting room. By now, my sobs had died down and I had remembered to be hungry but I didn’t dare ask for food given the circumstances. Daniel was still sitting with me. We hadn’t spoken since those first few minutes he was here but now, Daniel was ready to ask a ton of questions and started in on Robert immediately.

“Is she alright?” he asked.

There was a pause in between Daniel’s question and Robert’s response. I expected to hear the worst but only heard him sigh and say, “She’ll be okay.”

Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God,” he said, then paused and said “What’d they say?”

I’m going to put what Robert said next in layman’s terms because he decided to go all doctor on us and say a ton of stuff that didn’t make sense. Of course, Daniel understood ‘cause he took all the classes in high school he needed to in order to become a doctor but besides that, he’d been married to Robert for two years and been dating him for even longer so he was used to it by now. “Well, her arm wasn’t broken like I thought it might be but her wrist, you know, the fractured one, is broken now and a few blood vessels in her nose broke, so she had some severe bleeding there. She had to have stitches on her forehead and she had a concussion. She was knocked out for a little bit, but she’s awake now. And she remembers pretty much everything but the fight, so it’s ok.”

Daniel seemed flabbergasted at the news, despite the fact that I’m sure he expected way worse than what he had heard, “Well, at least she’s going to be okay.” He paused. “How long ‘til she can leave the hospital?”

Exasperated, Robert sighed, sitting down on the other side of Daniel, of course. “Who knows? A few hours, a day, maybe more; she just has to be stabilized and have everything taken care of. But it should be a quick fix from what I could tell. It’s just that concussion that we’ll really have to watch out for, along with her wrist.” He paused, eyeing Daniel. “No matter how much she begs don’t let her play softball or doing anything that requires use of her right wrist; well, anything extensive. Simple things are fine.”

“Sure thing, hon. I’ll be just as careful as you about it.”

He breathed in a sigh of relief, “Good.” Pausing, he spoke again, staring out into the distance blankly. “I’m really worried.”

I loved how he was completely ignoring me, but I guess I kinda deserved it, even if I hated it. Robert had never treated me like this in my life. I guess I’d really screwed up this time. I didn’t like it… at all.

Daniel reached over to his husband, grabbing a hand. “She’ll be alright.”

“I know but, I don’t like this.” I knew he wanted to elaborate on that. I knew he wanted to complete the sentence with something like: I would never expect something like this out of Katelyn; but I knew he wouldn’t, because I was sitting right there.

“I know.” Daniel sighed just like Robert had a million times already, rubbing Robert’s hand with his thumb.

We sat there in silence for a few moments before Robert finally decided to speak again, this time to me. “Are you hungry, Katelyn?” he asked. I was so shocked I didn’t say anything for a bit so he asked me again, “Katelyn? Are you hungry?”

This time I spoke, “Yeah,” I answered, “Kind of.”

He stood up then and reached out a hand towards me, “Come on then, let’s go to the cafeteria to get you something to eat.” I grabbed his hand and stood up. Clearly he hadn’t forgotten about my irregular, messed up eating habits. I guess that was comforting. At least I knew he still cared enough to make sure I didn’t starve myself again. “Daniel?” Robert said in a questioning tone.

“Yeah, hon?” Daniel replied.

“If you want to see Jess, she’s in room 316. It’s down the hall to the left. I’m sure she’d appreciate seeing you. She loves you a lot.”

He chuckled slightly at that. “I know she does. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to go see her. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Dan.” Then to me, “Come on, Kate, let’s go.” He grabbed my hand like I was a small child as if he were afraid of losing me or me running off. I didn’t dare let go of it for fear that he’d retaliate against the movement. As he led me to the cafeteria, I couldn’t help but think about Jessica and how she was and what I had done to her. I felt awful and I knew Robert wouldn’t let it slide. Dammit, how did I end up screwing up so often? Maybe Jessica was the better kid.

After about 5 minutes of walking through hallways and riding in elevators, we arrived in the cafeteria on the first floor. Robert finally let go of my hand and ushered me into the line. “What do you want, Kate?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter.” I answered, really not caring as long as I got something into my system.

“Just tell me what you want and I’ll get it,” he told me in an exasperated tone.

“I guess I’ll just have some chicken nuggets and fries then.” I replied.

“Okay, I think I’m going to have the same,” he said and then repeated the same thing to the cafeteria lady. She picked them up and put them in a couple of boxes for me and him. “What do you want to drink, Katelyn?”

“Mount—" I began to say.

He shook his head. “No, I already told you once today. No more caffeinated drinks. It’s not good for you. Besides, that’s probably what made you moody enough in the first place to do what you did.”

I pouted, “Okay.”

“What about green tea instead? You like that, don’t you?” I nodded. “Okay,” he said, grabbing two green teas. I think that was one of his favorite drinks.

We walked over to the check-out line and Robert gave the man standing there his money then grabbed our food and led me over to a table and sat me down, handing me my food. After a few minutes of eating, he stopped abruptly. “We need to talk, Katelyn.”

“I know,” I replied in a hushed voice.

“First of all, what in the world was going through your mind that made you get into a fight with your sister anyway?”

“I don’t know. I’ve just been really moody today and I guess you’re right. Drinking all that caffeine probably didn’t help. If anything it probably made it worse.”

“Yeah, Katelyn, you’re right. It did make it worse. It’s okay to drink a couple of caffeine drinks a day at most but after that, I don’t want you drinking anymore; especially after what happened today.”

“I’m sorry.” I said.

“I know you are.” He paused. “I’m really disappointed in you, Katelyn. I wouldn’t expect something like this out of you. Out of Jessica, yes. She’s gotten into fights before. I’ve been called to school before for stuff like this but not for you. This isn’t like you at all, Kate. It makes me wonder if anything’s going on that I should know about.”

Well, other than the fact that since the end of school I’d been way more moody and had constant mood swings every day, feeling several emotions in the span of just 24 hours and the fact that I hadn’t seen Melissa since school had gotten out and the fact that I was pretty depressed about not having anything to do anymore, despite my love of freedom; everything was fine. I thought it was anyway. “There’s nothing going on.” I said.

“I really don’t think that’s true, Katelyn Rose. And you know why I don’t think that’s true?” he asked then answered his own question, “Because you’ve been acting very differently since school’s been out and because you’ve been off almost the entire year anyway and because you’re more guarded than you’ve ever been. You don’t talk to me about stuff anymore. It’s like you keep everything to yourself. On top of it all, I’ve noticed you’ve been very emotional lately. There has to be something wrong.”

“There’s not.” I said. “Not that I know of.”

He completely ignored that statement. “Is it because school’s out now and you have no sort of structure? Is it because you haven’t seen Melissa in two weeks and you miss her? What is it?”

“For the last time, Robert: if anything’s wrong, I don’t know what it is.”

He shook his head at me, “There is something wrong. I believe that you may not be aware what it is but something is definitely not right.”

“No there’s not,” I muttered.

“Katelyn, I am not going to argue with you about it, ok?” He paused as though he expected some sort of response but I didn’t give him one so he continued on. “It’s already been a hard enough day without that added on.”

“I’m sorry,” I murmured.

“It’s fine,” he replied. Okay, so I wasn’t expecting so few words out of his mouth and I definitely wasn’t expecting them to be said so nonchalantly. Normally, he would have said something a little more comforting, something that made me feel less horrible inside. I guess he wasn’t up for the challenge. Truth be told, that kind of sucked.

There were a few moments of silence before he broke it, “Katelyn, honestly, I need to know what’s going on.”

“Robert, I told you, I don’t know what’s going on.”

He dropped the chicken he was holding and put his head in his hands, shaking his head back and forth and moving his legs up and down. He was shaking all over and I could tell he was about to cry. I was right because not a moment too soon, I could hear a tear slip off his cheek and drop down onto the table.

“Robert…” I began.

He held up a hand to stop me from speaking and began to speak in barely audible words. “Katelyn, don’t bother. Nothing you say is going to make it better.”

“But,”

“You think this is easy for me, don’t you?”

“I…”

“Let me tell you something, Katelyn,” he began, looking me in the eyes with tears in his own, “It isn’t easy.”

“But I…” But he cut me off again.

“You might think that it’s a walk in the park for me to raise you and Jessica but it’s not. It would be different if mom and dad hadn’t died so young and I was older or if they just weren’t good parents and I needed to take care of the two of you because of that. It would be different if the two of you didn’t have so many emotional issues yourself because of it. It would be different if I had already had a kid of my own and knew how to raise teenage girls. But none of that is true, is it?”

“Robert, I… I…”

“Katelyn, don’t interrupt me.” I was puzzled about that. How had I interrupted him?

“Instead I spend hours every day worrying about you guys. Instead I’m up at night worrying that you’ve done something to hurt yourself somehow again or that Jessica has beat some poor defenseless kid up or isn’t doing her homework and getting bad grades so that she’ll never get anywhere in life. Instead I’m spending more time thinking about the two of you and if you’ll be alright rather than worrying about my patients who are in critical need while I’m at work. Instead of spending some of my free time with Daniel or just having fun watching t.v. or playing board games with you and Jessica, I end up having to make sure neither of you does something stupid again by punishing you. You think all of this is easy for me, Katelyn, don’t you? Well, you’re wrong.”

Wow, way to make me feel guilty, Robert. Thanks for that.

“I’m not going to stand by and watch either of you get worse. And I’m not going to wait for some miracle to come that makes everything so much better.”

“So what do you propose then?” I asked.

“I don’t know, Katelyn, why don’t you tell me? Why don’t you start telling me what’s wrong and maybe helping me out a little bit? Maybe if you told me what was wrong every once in awhile instead of holding it all in, it would help things.”

“Robert, how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t know what’s wrong right now?”

“Katelyn, maybe you don’t know what exactly is wrong but you could try being a little more open about your life in general because I’m betting it’s a ton of stuff built up that’s making you act like this.”

“Whatever, Robert.”

“Don’t whatever me, young lady.”

“Okay, Robert, I’m sorry.”

He sighed heavily, “Let’s talk about this later when we get home, Katelyn. I don’t think we’ll get it resolved here and I don’t think we’re getting anywhere right now anyway.” He paused. “Are you finished with your food? At least for now? We can take it with us.”

“Yeah,” I whispered sadly, closing my food container, “I’m done.”

“Okay,” he said as he stood up. “Let’s go.”

“Okay,” I replied, sighing and following him silently out of the cafeteria and to my sister’s hospital room. Still, his words echoed in my head, stinging me over and over again: You think all of this is easy for me, Katelyn, don’t you? Well, you’re wrong.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sat beside my twin sister in a chair next to her hospital bed. Robert and Daniel were standing on the other side, looking down at her with worried looks. They were making me feel more and more guilty with each second passing by. I felt like shooting myself. I swear, if I made one more giant mistake like this again, it was definitely going to put me over the edge and it probably wouldn’t be too good for the physical well-being of my backside either.

I was quickly brought out of my thoughts when Robert spoke.

“How are you feeling, Jess?” he asked my sister.

She looked up at him pathetically and half smiled. “I’m feeling a bit better,” she said.

“Good.”

I felt like Robert was speaking in a little too much of a blah tone of voice at the moment. It was beginning to get annoying. Although, I suppose he was drained from being here for so long and from everything that had happened. We’d been here since about 1:15 p.m. and it was now 11:01 p.m. I’m sure though, that nothing was going to take away from his anger at me and his disappointment with what I had done. Yeah, I’d hurt myself before. Sure, I’d done stupid stuff before but never had I gone this far and with my own sister! With every second passing by I felt worse and worse. I didn’t even need the looks Daniel and Robert were giving me. I felt bad enough on my own from my own conscience. That’s what I get for being so goddamn moral. Fuck my conscience. Fuck my life. Fuck me. I’m a horrible person.

“Did you get something to eat for dinner, Jessica?” Daniel asked.

“Yeah, they brought me dinner around 7 or 8ish.”

“Are you still hungry?”

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“Okay, well, if you get hungry, Jess, let us know. Okay?”

She slightly smiled up at him again and gave him a thumbs up sign with her left hand. “Sure thing,” she replied.

“Jessica, I…” I began but Robert shot me a glare as if to say ‘don’t talk to her’. It made my stomach churn.

Daniel touched his arm slightly. “Honey,” he began, “Maybe we should leave Jessica and Katelyn alone for now so they can have some time to talk, hmm?

“But Katelyn can’t…”

Daniel put a soothing hand on my brother’s back. “Hon, I think it would be best if we gave them this time to themselves. They need to sort things out.”

He sighed, “I suppose you’re right but Katelyn,”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t do anything stupid. And Jessica, the same goes for you. Play nice, girls.”

“Okay,” we replied simultaneously.

“Come on, Robert, let’s go.” Daniel gently pushed my brother out of the room with him. He was looking over his shoulder the entire way, as though he didn’t really want to leave, which was probably the truth.

There was silence for a few seconds before I said, “I’m sorry, Jessica. Really, you have no idea how sorry I am.”

“No, I think I do, Kate. And I’m sorry too, for everything that’s happened between us since mom and dad died. We used to be so close. I don’t get it. What happened?”

“I don’t know. It’s like after that happened we both responded in different ways. I lost myself in school and homework and you began to retaliate against everything and I guess we just grew apart. But still, it shouldn’t have happened.”

“No, we should still be close.” She laughed slightly, “We really aren’t the typical twins anymore, are we?”

I chuckled at that statement. “No,” I replied, “I guess not.”

There was another pause in the conversation before Jessica spoke. “Katelyn, I don’t want to fight like this anymore. I don’t want to grow apart anymore. I just want my sister back. I just want our relationship to be the way it used to be.”

“Me too,” I replied.

“Why did you hurt me today like you did anyway? Just out of curiosity. It’s so against your nature.”

“Honestly, Jessica, I don’t know. I’ve just been so moody lately. I guess it’s everything built up. I’ve been hiding pretty much everything from Robert and now that school’s out, I have nothing to escape to. And I haven’t talked to Melissa since school’s been out so I have even less of an escape. I’m just stuck in the house all day with nothing to do. There’s no homework to do, no tests to study for, no projects to complete and that’s hard for me. I know that’s weird to think. What kid loves school, right? But for me, it was the only way I could deal with mom and dad being gone. I guess the caffeine didn’t help though. I’d already had 3 caffeine drinks that day and one of them was coffee… so that didn’t help. “

She nodded, “I get it. We just deal with stuff in different ways, Katelyn. You’re passive aggressive. I’m just aggressive.” She laughed again.

“I know, right.”

“Look, I’m not letting this change how I think of you, Katelyn. I’m sure I’ll end up doing it to you at some point too anyway so I’ll get you back.” She winked at me. “But seriously, I’ve fought a million times so it’s not like you’ve done anything different than I would’ve done. Granted, I’ve never done it to you but whatever. I still love you, despite our differences.”

I blinked and paused before saying, “I totally wasn’t expecting that, you know.”

She smiled at me, “I know. That’s what’s so sad about it.”

It was at that moment that everything in my world came to a pause and I looked at my sister as though I had never even known her and this was my the first time I had ever laid eyes upon her. Suddenly, all these thoughts were spilling into my mind, swirling around like the last few cheerios in a cereal bowl of milk. And I started thinking, about mom and dad, about growing up and the way things used to be, about our relationship and how we weren’t just sisters but best friends. And I started wondering why things couldn’t still be that way. Why couldn’t she still be my best friend? Why couldn’t Robert be our brother again instead of our authority figure? Why couldn’t mom and dad still be alive? Why couldn’t we spend our summer hiking in the woods together or playing hopscotch on the sidewalk or shooting hoops? What had happened to my sister? What had happened to me? And it was in that moment that tears came to my eyes. It was in that moment that I began crying and held my head in my hands, trying to hide the tears from the only sister I’d ever have.

“I’m sorry, Jessica,” I whispered in sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

She seemed appalled by this reaction and it was clearly expressed through the words she said following my outburst of tears. “Katelyn, dude, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“It’s not you,” I told her. “It’s not you at all.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s me. It’s everything. It’s mom and dad being gone and it’s Robert being our guardian instead of our brother. It’s the fact that things changed when I didn’t want them to. It’s the fact that I have no control over anything in my life anymore. It’s us not being best friends anymore and being like arch enemies instead.” I paused and looked up at her, tears still in my eyes. “Jessica, everything’s changed and I don’t want it to be different. I want things to be the way they used to be. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I want my sister and the old me back. I want Robert to be our older brother instead of our guardian. I want to taste mom’s food again and put my arms around dad’s neck and smell his old spice cologne.” At this I broke out into sobs. “I don’t think I can handle this anymore, Jessica. I just don’t think I can.”

“Come here, Kate.” I shook my head. “Yes,” she told me opening up her arms for me, “Come here. You need a hug.”

I went over to her and sat on the bed and laid on her chest, wrapping my arms around her while still being careful of her wrist and everything. She put her arms around me and rubbed my back with her perfectly fine left hand. “Look,” she began, “I know we fight a lot and I know things haven’t been at all the same since mom and dad died. And trust me, I want it to change too so I totally think we should work on it. But I really love you tons, Kate. You’re the only sister I have and the only sister I’ll ever have. I’m kind of obligated to care about you.” I laughed slightly at that statement. “Oh and the fighting thing, it’s built up anger from that 9 months of you kicking me constantly. I’m still pissed off about that.”

“Hey!” I half screamed at her in a sort of offended voice. Still, I laughed anyways.

“I’m just teasing.”

“I know.” I replied. There were a few minutes of silence next before I broke it. “So are we ok now?” I asked her.

“Yeah, we’re cool. I’ll just have to pay you back at some point.”

“You know that means you’ll probably just get from Robert or Daniel what I’m probably getting tonight or tomorrow, right?”

“Eh, whatevs. It’s all good.”

I laughed. “Okay then, Miss I want to get everyone back.”

She grinned widely. “That’s me!”

I stared at her and shook my head, smiling. There was a moment of silence as we looked at each other and then we both erupted in loud laughter. After a few moments, we heard a knock on the door. Jessica managed to shout out, “Come in,” as she drew in a deep breath and then broke out into insane laughter again.

I looked up and saw Daniel and Robert walk in, surprised looks on their faces, smiles slowly spreading from cheekbone to cheekbone. “I see that you guys made up,” Daniel spoke.

I laughed, “Yeah, we did. Right, Jess?”

“Yep!” She grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Daniel replied, smiling pleasantly.

“Jessica, the doctor said you could go home tonight. In fact, you were actually just officially released. We just have to sign you out and get you off all these machines and we can go,” Robert told my sister, smiling a little more than I had expected him to.

“Really?” Jessica asked in an excited voice.

“Really,” Robert replied, enthused. At the moment he said that, the nurse and doctor came in, smiles on their faces.

“Well, Jessica, you don’t have anything too severe. Just a broken wrist and a concussion and obviously some bruises here and there. I already talked to your brother about it and he does know how to take care of things, as he is a doctor. Now you’re going to have to be very careful with your wrist, okay? You can’t do anything extensive at all and it would be best if you would just use your left hand for most things.”

“Yeah, I know, Robert told me everything,” Jessica told her.

“Okay, well, you’re free to go as soon as the nurse gets you unhooked and everything, okay?” the doctor said with a smile.

“Okay,” my sister said in response.

“And don’t get into any more fights you two.” She winked at us.

“Thank you, Dr. O’Brien,” our brother told her gratefully, calling after her.

“You’re welcome. Have a good night guys.”

We all said bye together and within seconds of the doctor leaving, we were heading out the door and on our way home. Well, Robert and I were on our way home. Daniel was taking Jessica somewhere else. I think it was to get something to eat. She apparently became suddenly ravenous after that conversation she and I had. Odd. I think it had more to do with the fact that Robert wanted to deal with me alone, without interference from anyone else.

We drove in silence for a few minutes before Robert said, “I don’t hate you, Katelyn. I’m just disappointed and surprised in your behavior.”

“Okay,” I replied, shocked at that statement he made.

“I just know that I haven’t been acting so kindly towards you these past few hours and I’m sorry. I wanted to make sure you know I don’t hate you.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

We remained silent for the rest of the ride until we pulled into the driveway.

Robert took in a deep breath then let it out and looked over at me. He reached out to me to grab my hand and squeezed it, probably trying to comfort me. “You know I have a soft spot for you, kiddo, but I can’t let this go unpunished.”

“I know,” I mumbled sadly.

“Come on, let’s get this over with.”

I sighed, succumbing to defeat. There’s no way I would get out of this after what I had done.

We walked up to the front door together, his hand behind my back, guiding me, as if he was afraid I would run off. I wondered in that moment how Robert had gotten to being so protective over me and my twin sister. I didn’t have long to wonder though, before we got to the front door and he was unlocking it. I hesitated for a moment before my brother spoke.

“We’re going to my room this time.” He grabbed my hand gently. “Come on,” he said.

I followed him up the stairs and through his bedroom door. He motioned for me to take a seat on his bed.

“I think you already understand the severity of your actions. Am I right?”

I nodded, “Yes.”

He took a seat beside me and took my hand in his. “Katelyn, I shouldn’t have to do this so often. You are a smart and good girl and you know what’s right and wrong. Why do we have to keep repeating this?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“I know things have been hard for you since mom and dad died and I know that being out of school has been hard for you because you lost your only escape but you can’t let your emotions get the best of you. Something worse could have happened to Jessica. You’re lucky she didn’t get hurt worse than she did.”

“I’m sorry.” I hung my head, almost ready to let the tears I’d been holding inside of myself for so long to fall, but they wouldn’t.

“I know you are.” He paused. “How can I help, Katelyn?”

I shook my head silently then choked out the words, “I don’t know.”

“I’m here for you… to talk to, to listen and to guide you, even just to help you forget about things or help you with schoolwork. You know that, don’t you?”

I nodded.

“Katelyn, I’m not going to give up on you but I don’t want to keep repeating this procedure in the future. This is a ridiculous amount of times in one year to get spanked.” I cringed at the word. “But I’m not going to just let things slide either. If you mess up and do things like you have before, I won’t hesitate to punish you. But I want to do that as little as possible. Do you understand me?” he looked me sternly in the eyes. “Katelyn, look at me.”

I looked up at him, “Yes, sir,” I said. It felt like it was the appropriate response.

“Good.” He paused before continuing. “I want you to know that I love you, Katelyn, and nothing could stop me from loving you. That’s why I’m about to do what I’m going to do, alright?”

“Alright.”

He stood up and went to his closet, opened the doors and pulled out a box, the pulled some sort of wooden object out of it. My eyes grew wide with fear.

“Robert, what is that?” I recognized it. It looked like the old paddle my parents used to use on all three of us.

“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to use this any time soon, if ever, but I think it would be the most appropriate thing to use for this instance.”

“Robert, can’t you please just use your hand? Please?”

“After what you did? You’ve got to be kidding me. Katelyn, you’re lucky that this is all I’m using after that fiasco. If I didn’t feel that you had already partially learned your lesson then I’d be using the belt too.”

“But, but…” I couldn’t think of a good enough argument.

“No buts about it.” He sat down beside me. “Over my knee, young lady.”

“But Robert,” I whined.

“Katelyn, don’t make me tell you again or I WILL use the belt too.”

“Okay,” I replied, pouting, just grateful that he hadn’t pulled down my pants. That was before I realized I was wearing sweat pants, which were easy enough to pull down on their own. Soon enough Robert was pulling my pants down and resting his hand on my bottom. I wanted to fidget but didn’t. I knew it wouldn’t go over well with Robert and I didn’t want to fight anymore. I was too afraid he would use the belt if I made any wrong moves.

“Do you have anything else to say before we get started, Katelyn Rose?”

“I’m sorry”

“I know,” he whispered sadly. “So am I.”

With that he lifted his hand and started smacking me mildly. It wasn’t so bad since I still had my panties on and they were only mild smacks, but it was enough to get me to yelp occasionally and whine a little bit. That is, until he started smacking harder and harder and harder still. Then I was screaming. He was smacking fast AND hard and I imagined that my bottom was at least a bright pink by this point.

“Robeeerrrtt!!! Please stop! I’ll be good! I promise!”

“I know you will be,” he said but he didn’t stop and the intensity of his smacks didn’t change in the slightest.

He kept spanking me like that for a minute or two longer before he pulled down my panties and started smacking me with his hand again. I protested, “Robert, anything but on the bare! PLEASE!!!”

“Katelyn Rose Parker, if you expected anything but on the bare then you are sadly mistaken.”

“Robert! Please put my panties back up!”

“Katelyn Rose Parker, you are being spanked on the bare and that is final.” He added with two hard smacks to each of my thighs.

“But…” I screamed only to be answered with another searing smack to my right thigh and then one more to my left thigh.

He ended with two more smacks to each of my sit spots then paused momentarily to pick up the paddle.

“I want you to think about what you did and how it was wrong and how you are never going to do it again while I am spanking you with this paddle, Katelyn Rose. Do you understand me?” he added with a smack of the paddle.

“Yes, sir!” I screamed.

With that he began spanking me very hard. First two smacks on my right thigh, then two smacks on my left. Then two smacks on my left sit spot and then two smacks on my right sit spot. Then he would lay down two more very hard smacks to each of my cheeks. Even though I’d been spanked with more than just one implement before, I swear to God this is the hardest spanking I had ever gotten up to that point. He kept hitting me and hitting me and before I knew it I was crying, sobbing in fact. I didn’t even realize he had finished when he did, I was crying so hard.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I sobbed. “I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t mean to hurt her.” I curled my arms underneath me and shrank up, my body hesitating and trembling as he began to rub my back. “I’m sorry, Robert. I’m sorry.”

“Shh, it’s okay, honey. I’m done.”

“Don’t touch me, Robert,” I sobbed. “Stop touching me.” I didn’t even know where that came from. It just seemed to spill out of my mouth.

“What?” he sounded shocked.

“Let me go. Just let me go.” I didn’t even know what I was saying. I must have been overcome by grief at that point.

“Katelyn, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me.” He pulled up my panties and lifted me up, trying to sit me on his lap but I wouldn’t comply.

I continued sobbing. “I’m a horrible person for doing this. Just let go of me. Just let go.” With that I ran out of his room and into the bathroom next to Jessica’s and my room and locked the door behind me. I felt overcome by a sudden physical weakness and a need to cut. I grabbed the razor as I heard Robert standing outside the door, knocking.

“Katelyn,” he began knocking. “Katelyn, open up this door.”

I didn’t answer him. I just grabbed the razor and started cutting anywhere I could, up and down my arms, on my legs, everywhere. It felt so good. The pain was overtaking me. Finally I was setting it all free: all these horrible emotions, my parents’ death, Jessica and my fight and our current horrible relationship. I was just letting it all go. Before I knew it I had started cutting my wrist.

The last thing I heard before everything went black was the door opening and Robert’s voice saying, “Oh my God. What have I done?”

End of Part I

To be continued…