Part of the Jessica/Katelyn series. Katelyn has lost her appetite and doesn't ever want to eat. One day she passes out at school and Robert realizes that it's time to have a serious talk.
Disclaimer - This story includes themes of eating disorders and may trigger some. Just wanted to give you a heads up.
Starvation Kills
by Mackenzie
“Katelyn! Jessica!” Robert called from downstairs. “It’s time for dinner.”
I groaned. I didn’t want to eat tonight. I didn’t want to because I had no appetite. Then again, when did I ever have an appetite?
Jessica closed her English book and got up off her bed, walking towards the door. “You coming, Kate?” she asked.
I moaned, “Yeah. I don’t want to but I will,” and I closed my math book. I always waited to do math last. I hated math. So I don’t really understand how Robert and I got along so well when he was all science and math like and I was more of a language person. I mean yeah, I was good at math, but I didn’t love it. You know what I mean?
I jumped off of my bed and followed Jessica out of our room and down the stairs to the kitchen. It smelled good, but I wasn’t in the mood so it didn’t make much difference. I wasn’t going to want to eat either way. There was just something about eating I didn’t like. I don’t know why I was that way but it was like for the past couple of years I’ve slowly been starting to eat less and less. It’s not like I really cared anyway though.
Jessica and I sat down across from each other at the small table in the kitchen rather than in the dining room where the big table was. We never ate dinner in there as a family unless it was a special occasion or guests were over. Most of the time, we just sat at the table that seated four. It was easier that way anyway.
“What are we having?” Jessica asked.
“Chinese,” Robert answered. “Daniel just came back from picking it up. Neither of us felt like cooking.”
“Oh, cool.” Jessica replied. She had the same look on her face she always does when she feels like an idiot. I mean, the containers were on the counter. What was she supposed to think?
Robert and Daniel put all the containers in the middle of the table then sat down. The plates, cups and silverware were already all on the table. All I had to do was serve myself food; it couldn’t be that hard could it? Well, you’re thinking wrong if it wasn’t hard. I simply did not want to eat so I just watched everyone as they passed the food around.
“Katelyn, aren’t you going to eat?” asked Daniel.
“I don’t really want anything.” I told him.
“But Chinese is your favorite, Kate.” Robert said as he put down his fork for a moment.
“I’m not hungry.”
“We’ve had this discussion with you before, haven’t we, Katelyn?” asked Daniel. I didn’t say anything. “We’ve had this discussion with her before, haven’t we Robert?”
He nodded and looked at me seriously. “Katelyn, you can’t not eat anything.”
“I told you: I’m not hungry.”
Robert began raising his voice in the next statement, “Katelyn, this is a continuing pattern. You haven’t been eating much for a week or two now. You never eat at dinner anymore, at least not since a couple of weeks ago. You’re going to get yourself sick if you don’t eat.”
I shrugged. “I don’t care.”
Daniel and Robert exchanged a look. Meanwhile, Jessica was busily eating, probably trying to ignore this whole argument between me and our brothers.
“You need to eat, Katelyn.” Daniel said.
I started to but in but Robert just interrupted me and said, “You’re not leaving this table until you eat.”
I groaned. “Fine,” I said. “I’ll eat, but only because it makes you happy.” I paused. “Pass me the chicken lo mein.”
“Thank you.” Robert said to me.
“You’re welcome,” I replied, a little angrily as I stuffed my mouth with food and started chewing. I noticed then how incredibly hungry I was but it still took a lot of effort to eat anything. I managed to down enough to get them to leave me alone though: a little chicken lo mein, fried rice and an egg roll. I didn’t eat much of any of those, but I ate enough to where they just dealt with it and let it go. Finally I was allowed to get up and leave the table. Of course, Jessica, being a fast eater, had already left. It’s not like it mattered though.
“There. See, Katelyn,” Robert told me. “Now was that so hard?”
I muttered a no just so he would leave me alone and wouldn’t question me further then headed up the stairs to finish my homework, take a shower and go to bed. And of course as soon as I had gotten my shower done and walked back into our room, Jess just had to ask me, “What was that all about?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” I said as I slumped down into my bed and pulled the covers around me, falling asleep with the light still on.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I was sitting in the cafeteria during second lunch, staring at my lunch box (Jessica and I had different lunch times), not wanting to eat anything that was in it. My best friend Melissa sat next to me, blabbering away about something that wasn’t even registering in my head. Then I heard her pause and she asked, “Aren’t you going to eat anything, Katelyn?”
I shook my head. “I don’t feel that great today. Don’t really have an appetite.”
She bought it, probably because I normally did eat enough every day to make her think that I was actually keeping myself nourished (emphasis on enough). That was so not true. I mean, the not having an appetite part was true and the not feeling GREAT part was true, but it was for different reasoning. In any case, Melissa just began prattling on again with her stories; things that in that particular moment, I didn’t really care about. Normally I would have been an attentive listener. That day though, not so much.
I left lunch, having eaten nothing and went to my 5th period class, feeling a little faint but ignoring it. I couldn’t miss any school. I had to be there as much as I could because the more I went to school, the more I’d know and the better of a chance I’d have of remaining on the academic team. Also, you had to maintain certain grades if you wanted to stay on the academic team. I couldn’t jeopardize those. So, even though I felt awful, I ignored it and continued on from period to period, although in a daze. Even as I entered my last period class, I ignored that I was overcome by a sudden weakness and dizziness and sat down in my spot next to Jessica. She looked at me with a weird and worried look on her face and mouthed to me “Are you okay?” as the teacher began to go on about the Civil War. I hated History class. I hated it even more than math, well… almost.
“I’m fine.” I mouthed back, even though I wasn’t fine at all.
And it was then that I was overcome by a sudden overwhelming feeling of “I can’t keep my balance” and “I’m going to black out any second.” I knew something was wrong so I got up and started to tell my teacher something but couldn’t finish.
“Katelyn, are you ok?” she asked.
But everything just spun around me and I couldn’t say anything in response. Within seconds I was falling and the next thing I know, I’ve blacked out. I’m not sure how much time passed before I woke up but when I did, the first thing I saw was Jessica’s face and the first sound I heard was that of the nurse’s voice, Mrs. Perry.
“Katelyn, Katelyn?” she asked. “Can you hear me?”
I tried to push myself off the ground with my arms but couldn’t. “Where am I?” I asked. I didn’t even notice all the pairs of eyes staring at me.
“You’re at school.” she replied.
“Oh,” I said.
“Your brother is on the way. You fainted and you were out for a few minutes.”
“I was?” I said in a questioning voice.
“Yes, you were.” I heard the bell ring as she said this and noticed that people had begun filing out of the room, still looking back at me. Jessica stayed where she was and within moments, Robert came in through the door.
“What happened?” he asked, not necessarily to anyone, just in general.
“She fainted.” Jessica told him.
“Why did she faint?”
“I don’t know.” Jessica replied.
Robert kneeled down beside me, “Katelyn, did you eat breakfast this morning?”
I looked up at him and shook my head.
“Did you eat anything at lunch today?”
I hesitated, not saying anything and he looked at me sternly. “That’s why. That’s exactly why you fainted.” He turned to the nurse. “She hasn’t been eating that much recently. I’ve been trying to keep an eye on her but with the hours I work and everything else thrown in there, it’s hard to be sure if she eats or not.”
The nurse nodded then looked at me. “Katelyn, you need to eat.”
What was it with everyone telling me I needed to eat? I ate enough, didn’t I? I didn’t need to eat more. I was fine. I was perfectly fine and I didn’t understand why everyone couldn’t just but out of it because they didn’t need to be in my business, especially not with eating. I could take care of myself.
Robert looked at me, “Can you get up?” he asked. “Do you have the energy to get up?”
I tried to push myself up but couldn’t so Robert and Mrs. Perry decided to help me get up. Jessica took a step back and allowed them to do so. When I finally got up, I was at least standing on my own two feet, but I still felt a little dizzy. Robert wrapped an arm around me and supported some of my body’s weight.
“I’ll take a look at her at home,” he told Mrs. Perry, “And I’ll talk to her about eating.”
“Thank you, Dr. Parker.”
He nodded. “Come on, girls, let’s go.” he paused and lifted up my backpack. “Jessica, can you get those books?” he asked our sister, gesturing towards my history book, binder and papers on the desk.
She nodded and picked them up.
“Thank you, Mrs. Perry. I appreciate you watching out for her.”
“It’s not a problem, Dr. Parker,” she replied. “Have a good day.”
He smiled at her and said in reply, “You too.” Then we walked out and to the car. Robert helped me into the front passenger side seat then put my backpack in the back of the car. Jessica got in the backseat. As soon as everyone was in the car, he started up the ignition and pulled out of his parking spot then onto the main road.
“Why didn’t you eat anything today, Katelyn?” he asked me.
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“You weren’t hungry? That’s all. That’s all you have to say,” he paused. “There’s more to it than that.”
“No, there isn’t, Robert.”
He ignored that statement and continued on. “How long has this been going on?” he asked. “Two weeks? Two months? Two years?”
I didn’t say anything in response. “Katelyn, you can’t just not eat,” he told me. “Trust me. I know. I see teenage girls coming in almost every day with a problem like this. It’s not healthy. You can’t do that to yourself. It’s going to destroy your body.”
“I don’t care.” I said.
“You don’t care!” he shouted. “How can you not care!?”
I shrugged. “I just don’t.”
He took a deep breath in. “Katelyn, you just fainted in the middle of class and were out for several minutes. If that’s not a sign to you that something is wrong and you need to fix it, I don’t know what is.”
I didn’t say anything and he sighed. Jessica decided to break the tension by asking him a question, “Where’s Daniel? He usually comes with you when you come pick us up.”
“He’s in a meeting for that book he’s writing. They’re talking about signing off on getting it published.”
“Really?” Jessica asked. “That’s awesome!”
“I know it is,” Robert replied. “I’m excited for him. But right now I have more important things to worry about.” He looked over at me.
“You’re eating when we get home. And you’re eating every night. And you’re eating breakfast. And if you don’t eat your lunch I will make it my personal mission to have someone watching you to make sure you do.”
I just sighed, resigned. I didn’t want to deal with him right then.
“Do you understand me, Katelyn Rose Parker?”
“Yes, sir,” I replied.
“Good.” The rest of the ride remained silent as I stared out the window at the rain falling down. I always loved watching the rain. It was so beautiful. I wished I could just dance in it right then, to forget about what had just happened, to forget how obviously angry with me Robert was. I also wished that ride would have lasted a little longer than it did, but after that last statement Robert made, it lasted all of about 2 to 3 minutes.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door. Daniel came around to my side and helped me out. I really didn’t want his help but I took it anyway, because I was just so weak. He supported my weight as we got to the house and went through the door. Then he took me to the kitchen and made me sit down. When all was said and done, he may as well have been carrying me. I hadn’t really been walking at all. By this point, Jessica had disappeared, probably to our room to throw her softball around a little bit. Who knows?
I saw that Robert was rummaging around through the pantry, trying to find something for me to eat, of course but I still asked him, “What are you doing?”
“I’m finding something for you to eat. And you’re going to eat something, whether you like it or not.”
I moaned and whined, “But Robeeerrrtt…”
“No buts, you’re eating,” he replied as he came over with a couple of nutria-grain bars and placed them in front of me.
“No.” I told him.
“Do you want me to shove it down your throat? Because I will.” he told me as he gave me a look that said I had better do as he said.
I moaned, “Fine.”
“And while you’re eating, I want to talk to you,” he said as he sat down next to me. “Why haven’t you been eating?”
I shrugged as I took a reluctant bite out of the blueberry nutria grain bar, “I don’t know. I just don’t want to.”
“This has to do with mom and dad, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know.” I told him.
“Katelyn, I’m thinking that Jessica isn’t the only one who needs a counselor.”
And that’s when I started getting angry. “I don’t need a fucking counselor, Robert!” I shouted with as much energy as I could. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“No you’re not, Katelyn. If you were fine you wouldn’t have drank and almost killed yourself three weeks ago. If you were fine you would be eating. If you were fine, you’d be talking to me about this openly instead of hiding everything like you are right now.”
I could only remain silent at that statement as I munched away at the nutria grain bar, realizing how hungry I actually was.
“I’m not going to sit by and watch you destroy yourself. You’re going to be seeing a counselor.” he paused. “And furthermore, you’re not getting away with not eating.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked fearfully.
“It means that you’re getting punished for not eating like I’ve been telling you for weeks. It means you’re not getting away with something that is going to kill you if you don’t stop doing it. And it means that you’re going to be getting help because otherwise you might end up seriously hurting yourself.”
“Which means?”
“You want me to state it bluntly? It means you’re getting a spanking.”
“Wait a second… that’s not fair.” I protested.
“Life isn’t fair. Neither is it fair what you’re doing to yourself or to me or to Daniel or to Jessica. I’m not going to watch you starve yourself, Katelyn Rose. You’re not going to kill yourself because you won’t eat.” he paused, hit in a soft spot when I looked up at him pleadingly, “I’m sorry, kiddo, but I gotta do this.”
“No, you don’t, Robert. You don’t have to do anything.”
“I have to do it if I want to make sure you’ll start eating and keep yourself alive instead of developing an eating disorder and dying.” I whined. “Katelyn, I’m only going to do this because I care about you. I don’t want you to…” He was cut off by Jessica coming down the stairs, phone in hand.
“Daniel wants to talk to you,” she said, handing out the phone to Robert.
He took the phone from her and mouthed “Did you call him?” She nodded yes.
“Hey, honey… not great. How’d it go? You got a contract? They’re publishing it? That’s GREAT, Daniel! I’m so excited for you. Uh huh, yeah. Jessica told you? Yeah, well, Katelyn fainted at school today. She decided not to eat any breakfast or lunch. You handed her a breakfast bar on her way out this morning after she refused to eat eggs? Oh, really? Mhm… ok. Well, I forced her to eat something when we got home. Yeah… I already talked to her about it. I told her she’s going to eat whether she likes it or not. Uh huh… yeah, I was going to deal with her about right now. You want me to wait until you get home? Daniel, I’m not sure I should do that.” he paused again, here. “Okay, well, if you want me to wait that’s fine but I’m not so sure it should be harsh. You just want to be here to talk to her? Okay, alright. I’ll see you then. Bye, honey.”
He hung up the phone and handed it to Jessica, “Hang that back up,” he told her then, turning to me said, “He wants to talk to you when he gets home. So we’re going to wait until he gets home and is done talking to you.”
“What if I don’t want to talk to him?” I asked him, in a bit of a smartass-y tone.
“Either way, you don’t have a choice in the matter. This is too serious to take chances with,” then added, “You’re sitting here until Daniel gets home.”
“Whatever, Robert,” I said, irritated by this whole situation. Why they wouldn’t just leave me alone about it I didn’t know. I honestly didn’t think I had a problem. I WAS eating enough, wasn’t I? Wasn’t I?
It seemed like hours before Daniel finally came through the door when in reality it was probably only several minutes. “Robert!” he called gently. “Where are you?”
“We’re in here, Daniel.” Robert answered. His arms were crossed, as he leaned against the table, the same way he’d been for the past 10 minutes or so.
“Hey,” Daniel said, taking a sharp breath in. I could tell he was a weird mix of excited, worried and angry. Those last two emotions were probably because of me. The first one was obvious. He’d just gotten signed on for the publishing of his first novel. “How you feeling, Katelyn?”
“Better,” I replied. I didn’t need to go into any further detail than that.
He sighed and sat down at the table across from me. Robert took a seat next to me. “When did this happen?” he asked.
“7th period History Class,” Robert said, as if he knew it by heart. Hell, he probably did know both my and Jessica’s schedules by heart. He had a mind for memorizing but who the hell knows?
“Katelyn, I gave you that breakfast bar AND I offered you eggs. Why didn’t you take either one?” Daniel asked.
I shrugged, “wasn’t hungry.”
Daniel gave Robert a look. Robert only looked back at him as if he didn’t know what to say.
“There has to be more to it than that, Katelyn. You don’t just not eat for more than 2 weeks because you’re not hungry.” he paused then looked over at Robert. “This definitely has something to do with your parents. Katelyn…”
Then I started shouting, “Why do you think this has anything to do with my parents being dead!? Why do you always bring them into this!?! It has nothing to fucking do with them. I just don’t like eating, ok! I don’t want to eat! Just leave me alone!”
“I will not leave you alone, young lady.” Daniel replied. “You can’t do this. You’re going to end up killing yourself if you keep doing this. I’m sure Robert already told you that.”
Robert nodded, “I did. And Daniel is right, Katelyn. You are going to end up killing yourself if you keep doing this.”
I shouted back at them. “Who the hell cares! It’s not like it matters anyway,” then muttered, “My parents are dead. I should be dead too.” Robert had a shocked look on his face after I said that.
“I heard that, Katelyn,” Daniel said. “And you’re wrong.”
“Why would you ever say that, Katelyn?” Robert asked.
“Because me and Jessica were supposed to be in the car with them. But we both had homework to do and we both opted to stay home when we were really supposed to go.” I paused. “I technically shouldn’t be alive right now.”
Robert looked over at Daniel, “We can’t spank her, Daniel. I can’t spank her.”
He held up his finger for a second, mouthing the words: hold on. “Katelyn, what makes you think that any of that was your fault? Or that you should be dead right now? You weren’t in that car for a reason. It’s a good thing you’re alive. It was hard enough for everyone to lose them but if you and Jessica had been gone too, Robert would have lost his entire family. And you and Jessica are close enough to being sisters to me that I may as well have lost my entire family too.”
“I don’t know” I whispered, burying my face in my arms.
“You’re wrong,” he said, simple as that. “Go upstairs so your brother and I can talk. And no playing your violin either.” he added.
I nodded, a lump rising in my throat. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry so badly but obviously, as we know from previous experience, I wasn’t one to cry. And I didn’t just hate it, I detested crying. Surely I don’t have to go further than that to describe my hatred for tears. In any case, I ignored the fact that I wanted to cry and started to walk up sullenly to my room. Nothing had been going right in the past month. NOTHING.
Suddenly, I heard Robert’s shaky voice as he said, “I can’t believe she would say that, Daniel. Does she not know how much I love her? I mean… if she’d died with them, I don’t know what I would have done. I can’t believe she said that.” I stopped walking. He was crying. Robert never cried. He didn’t like to and was so much like me in that regard. Or rather, I was so much like him in that regard.
I’d never meant to hurt him when I said that. But it was the truth. Some part of me really did wish I’d died with them. Still, hurting Robert tore me to pieces on the inside. It hurt me more than anything I’d done to myself ever had. I can’t believe I’d been so stupid as to say something like that, especially in front of him.
“There’s something more there than we thought there was, Robert.” Daniel told him. “She has survivor’s guilt.”
“I know she does.” Robert replied. “I still can’t believe she would ever say something like that. It worries me.”
“I know.” Daniel said sadly then paused. “Did you talk to her about a counselor? It’s not like we don’t have the money.”
“I did. She protested. I told her she’s going anyway.”
“Good, because I agree with you.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t take anymore. So I just stalked back up the stairs the rest of the way and to my room. All that was left to do was to sit down on my bed and wait nervously for them to come upstairs.
“You okay?” Jessica asked me.
I nodded. “I’m fine.”
By this point it seemed like school was a lifetime ago when in reality it had only been a couple of hours. It seemed even longer, perhaps eons ago that I had been waiting for Daniel and Robert to come upstairs. But then again, maybe it would just be Robert. Maybe it would just be Daniel. Who knows?
Eventually though, I heard a knock at the door and whispered in a hoarse voice, “Come in.”
It was Robert who entered my room. “Jessica, can you give us a minute, please?”
“Yeah,” she said then left the room, probably to go join Daniel downstairs.
Robert sighed as he sat down next to me. “So…” he said. “What are we going to do about this?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what Daniel and I came to the conclusion of,” he replied. “Firstly, you are definitely seeing a psychologist or a counselor. Secondly, we’re going to be watching you to make sure you eat and you won’t be allowed to leave the table until you eat a sufficient amount. And thirdly, you’re going to get a spanking. It’s not going to be hard or long, just enough. You’ve been through plenty already. I don’t need to make it much harder than it already is.” he paused. “Do you understand why I’m doing all of this, Katelyn?”
I nodded.
“Because if you don’t, you can tell me. You can ask me if you don’t understand.”
“No, I do. I do understand.”
“Then I need you to tell me why so I know that you understand.”
“You’re doing it because you care about me and you don’t want me to get hurt or see me slowly killing myself.”
“That’s right,” he replied. “That’s exactly right. Daniel and I care about you too much to see you hurting yourself like this and we’re going to put a stop to it.” he paused. “Stand up.”
I didn’t have the energy in me to fight, so I just did as he said and stood. He pulled me closer towards him and unbuttoned then unzipped my jeans, pulling them down to my knees in the process. He then gently guided me over my lap and pulled down my panties, resting his hand on my bottom.
“Do I need to lecture you more on the importance of eating?”
“No, sir.”
“Good.” With that he lifted his hand and started to smack my bottom over and over again, in a methodic way. One smack on each cheek, two smacks on each thigh, three smacks on my sitspots and all over again. The weird thing is, I don’t even think he was trying to gain a pattern. It sort of just came naturally. That didn’t really matter though because within seconds of him beginning the spanking I was kicking, begging for him to stop. He didn’t say anything, just kept spanking and spanking for what felt like hours until I was crying. In truth though, it was probably only a couple of minutes before he stopped and began rubbing my back and speaking to me.
“I’m sorry I had to do that, Katelyn.” he said to me as he rubbed my back. “I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
I told him through tears and in between sobs, “I’m sorry, Robert.”
“I know, sweetie,” he replied as he pulled my panties up and lifted me onto his lap. “Promise me you’ll start eating,” he pleaded as he looked into my eyes.
“I promise.” I told him.
He smiled and threw his arms around me. “Good. I’m glad,” he said.
And for the first time in about three weeks, I smiled like I meant it.
17 January 2010
Story: Go Mets
Part of the Jessica and Katelyn series. Jessica is frustrated when she's grounded during the big Mets game. But since when has being grounded ever stopped her from doing what she wants?
Go Mets!
by Breanna Carter
Robert and I were constantly at each other's throats. This time it was about my school work. While Katelyn brought home all A's on her report card, with one measly B, mine was scattered with B's and C's, and a D in American Studies. I mean really, who cares about all the dead presidents? Definitely not me.
“No more going out on school nights,” Robert told me.
“But...”
“From now on, I'm checking your assignment book and no computer or TV until you finish all of your homework.”
“What?” I said, appalled that he was taking away not only my going out privileges, but basically turning me into a hermit... no contact with the outside world? No Farmville? No lame reality TV? My life was so over. “But what about my farm? What about Real World? The season finale is next week!”
Go Mets!
by Breanna Carter
Robert and I were constantly at each other's throats. This time it was about my school work. While Katelyn brought home all A's on her report card, with one measly B, mine was scattered with B's and C's, and a D in American Studies. I mean really, who cares about all the dead presidents? Definitely not me.
“No more going out on school nights,” Robert told me.
“But...”
“From now on, I'm checking your assignment book and no computer or TV until you finish all of your homework.”
“What?” I said, appalled that he was taking away not only my going out privileges, but basically turning me into a hermit... no contact with the outside world? No Farmville? No lame reality TV? My life was so over. “But what about my farm? What about Real World? The season finale is next week!”
Story: Drinking Young
Part of the Jessica/Katelyn Series. Katelyn gets quite intoxicated and sick, worrying her older brothers. They both teach her a lesson this time.
Drinking Young
by Mackenzie
I wasn’t a bad kid, really I wasn’t. I did well in school and I was on the honors roll every quarter. I was on the academic team and I played violin (and not too badly either). I mean, when Robert talked to me sometimes while he was disappointed in or angry with Jessica, he told me he was so happy I was such a good kid. He told me I was easy. It’s not like he didn’t think that Jessica was a good kid. It’s not that he didn’t love her. It’s just that he was disappointed in her quite frequently. But anyways, I guess he was wrong on the whole me being a good kid thing. Because even with all those good things, I sure as hell make stupid and occasionally dangerous mistakes.
So it was April 6th; Robert and Daniel were celebrating their 2 year anniversary with a night out together, going to a fancy restaurant that must have cost an arm and a leg and then later to an ice cream place and maybe a late showing at a movie theater then back here. So, where did that leave me and Jessica? At home alone to reek as much havoc as possible. Okay, so maybe that never really went through my head but the point is I made some dumb decisions that night whereas the supposedly “bad” child was very good that night.
I never thought of myself as one of those people who would make such a stupid mistake. I never saw myself being a big partier and really, I guess what I did didn’t exactly qualify me as a partier, because I was really just out of it that night. And by out of it, I mean that emotionally and physically I was drained. It felt like even after all these months of keeping it together, I was falling apart and the pieces of me would never be put back together again. I guess I did what I did because I felt so alone, even though I knew I wasn’t. And contrary to what Robert thinks, I was never emotionally stable. I just cover it up well and try my hardest to get beyond my emotions. I don’t like being controlled by something like that. It pisses me off when I let my emotions get the best of me.
But that night, that night I didn’t care. All I wanted was to taste alcohol. Maybe it would take away my troubles. This was something I really believed was possible, however false the belief may have been. I just wanted to forget about mom and dad and everything that had happened since they died.
And that’s where I made the mistake.
I remember walking down the stairs to say bye to Robert and Daniel and watching them put on their jackets, a smile on my face but pain in my mind and heart. That day wasn’t a good day.
“Be good, Katelyn.” Robert said and then to Jessica, “The same goes for you too.”
“We will.” Jessica and I said in synchronization. We had that twin thing down pat.
“There’s dinner in the refrigerator. “ Daniel told us. “Chicken and some rice. Make sure you eat.” He said that to both of us but I think it was more directed towards me as I had issues with eating sometimes. I wasn’t really anorexic, but I wasn’t a big fan of eating either which usually led to health problems. And Robert and Daniel had both already sat me down and spoken to me about it.
“I will, Daniel. Geeze, you guys worry too much” I said in a voice with a bit of attitude in it.
“With reason,” Robert replied.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Jessica told him. “Whatever. Just go enjoy your anniversary.”
“Okay… you girls have a good night.” he said as he gave each of us a hug. “I love you both.”
“Love you too,” I said in reply to his statement. Jessica just sort of mumbled the same thing without really saying it.
Then Daniel gave us a hug and said “I love you, girls.”
And that’s when Jessica was actually louder than me in her response. She always was closer to Daniel than Robert, ever since she met him. I mean, I knew why. It wasn’t a surprise. I just wish things were different between the two of them. I wish she would have with Robert what I have with him. But then again, I don’t have with Daniel what she has with him, so I guess it’s a trade off.
“Okay, bye girls.” Robert and Daniel said in unison. I guess after knowing each other for so long they had that down pat too.
After that, they shut the door behind them and we were free to do whatever we wanted. I looked at Jessica for a moment before heading to the kitchen and rummaging through the refrigerator for something, anything alcoholic; wine, beer, it didn’t matter. I just wanted something to drown these feelings of anxiety and pain and depression inside of me away. Maybe alcohol would do the trick. I kept telling myself that same thing all night.
“Katelyn,” Jessica called after me as she turned the corner into the kitchen. “What are you doing…?”
“I’m getting something to drink. What does it look like I’m doing?” I asked as I took out a bottle of wine and a glass from the cupboard.
“It looks exactly like that except that you’re drinking something you’re not supposed to,” she said.
“Who the fuck cares? It’s not like it fucking matters anyway. Robert and Daniel won’t find out.”
“Oh believe me, Katelyn. They will. They most definitely will.”
“Oh well, I’m willing to risk it.”
“I wouldn’t if I were you. And it’s dangerous anyway.”
“I don’t care. I just want to forget things for a little while.” I told her as I poured myself a glass and took a couple of gulps. It actually didn’t taste that bad.
“Katelyn,” Jessica began in a warning tone as she came towards me and put her hand on top of mine before I was about to pour myself a second glass. “No. You can’t have this. You shouldn’t have this.”
“I don’t fucking care, Jess. Leave me the hell alone!” I screamed, pushing her away
She looked at me, shocked. “Katelyn, you’re going to regret this. If it gets too out of hand I’m calling Daniel and Robert.”
“Whatever.” I told her. “Do whatever you want. I don’t care”
She just walked off and into the living room to watch t.v. Hell, I knew she was worried about me and had my best interests in mind but I really didn’t care at the time.
I drank glass after glass and an hour went by, then two hours, then three… as I downed glass after glass of wine. I drank slowly but I still had drunk a lot that night. By the second glass, I don’t remember anything about how much I drank. I just remember feeling incredibly sick and running to the bathroom to throw up. That’s when Jessica came in.
“Kate?” she called in a questioning voice. “Kate, are you ok?” she said as she turned a corner. “Oh my God. Katelyn…” she paused. “I’m calling Robert and Daniel right now.”
“No, no, no… Jess, don’t do that. I’m fi—“ I broke off on the word fine, throwing up in the toilet.
“No you’re not, Katelyn. I’m calling them and that’s final.”
She walked back into the kitchen and picked up the phone and dialed the number. It wasn’t long before someone answered the phone on the other end.
“Daniel?” she paused. “Yeah, it’s Jess. Look, we need for you to come home right now.” Some murmuring on the other end. “Katelyn isn’t doing well. She’s throwing up and she’s… well, just please come home. She’s really sick. I just need you to come home. I don’t know what to do.” A pause. “Okay, I’ll see you in a few. Thanks, Daniel…. Bye.”
She hung up the phone and set it down on the sink counter and then sat down next to me and held my hair back. She pulled my hair back as I threw up and put it in a ponytail with the tie on her wrist. I started crying, “Jess, it hurts...” I whined.
“I know, Kate, I know.” she said, rubbing my back. “Robert and Daniel will be here soon. I promise.”
I nodded, crying as I leaned my head down on the side of the toilet. I was miserable. Drinking was the worst idea ever. It didn’t solve anything. Somewhere in the middle of my thoughts I was interrupted by a door opening and footsteps.
“Katelyn, Jessica!” a voice called. “Where are you?”
“We’re in here!” Jessica called back. “We’re in the bathroom.”
I heard some more footsteps, getting louder and louder until they reached the bathroom we were in. I looked up pitifully at Robert and Daniel, whose mouths were both dropped. I must have looked horrible.
“What happened, Jessica?” Daniel asked, while I could tell that Robert was still shocked.
“She drank.”
“She drank as in like actually drank? Like alcohol or something?” he asked, appalled.
Jessica nodded solemnly, “Yes,” she whispered.
Robert moved towards me and kneeled down next to me. “Sweetie, are you ok?” he asked me, apparently deciding that being kind to me right now was the best way to go.
I only groaned then threw up again. I knew that Robert had one of those shocked looks on his faces. He probably couldn’t get over the fact that I had drank. Me, Katelyn Rose Parker, the supposedly good one, drinking? How could that be possible? Well, it was very possible as I can attest to.
“Jessica,” Daniel began. “Go upstairs. I’ll be up in a second to talk to you.”
She nodded and headed upstairs to our bedroom as I threw up again. Daniel sighed and sat down next to me, rubbing my back. Robert was still looking at me with concerned eyes. “I know she’ll probably be fine,” he said. “If she didn’t have too much. But I don’t know how much she had so I can’t determine whether she has alcohol poisoning or not,” he sighed. “This was not what I wanted to come home to.”
“I know, hon.” Daniel said.
“I think she’s going to be okay. But that doesn’t make me any less worried,” he said. “She’s my sister. Of course I’m worried.”
“I know you are. I am too.” Daniel paused. “Listen, I’m going to go upstairs and talk to Jessica about what happened. You should stay here with Katelyn.”
“I was planning on it.” Robert replied and then muttered under his breath, “Great way to end my anniversary.” He probably didn’t think I could hear him.
I cried more now, feeling even guiltier which upset my stomach more which caused me to throw up again for about the 10th time. I wished I hadn’t done this. I’d just ruined their entire evening. I felt terrible and not just physically either.
I coughed as if I was about to hack something up and cried then started saying, “I’m sor… I’m sor-so-rry, Robert.” I hiccupped and then threw up again, groaning.
“It’s okay, Kate,” he said. “You need to calm down. That’s why you keep throwing up, you’re not calm. Just take deep breaths. Try to calm yourself. Don’t cry so much.”
I nodded but still cried a little bit and I kept crying consequently throwing up until I eventually calmed down enough to where Robert could tell I wasn’t going to throw up anymore and carried me up to my room. He tried to lift me up and support my weight for me but just decided to carry me instead since I fell every time he tried that.
He took the stairs slowly, so as not to upset my stomach and walked to the end of the hall where my and Jessica’s room was, opening the door and walking in then setting me down on my bed. Daniel was across the room on Jessica’s bed, trying to comfort her. I think she was crying, but I couldn’t be sure.
Robert sat down next to me and felt my forehead, acting like the doctor he really was. “You don’t have a fever, Kate, so that’s good.”
Daniel came over and kneeled down beside my bed. I could hear Jessica crying in the background but I was too exhausted to do anything about it, “That was a bad idea, kiddo.”
I nodded, not able to say anything though I desperately wanted to say “I know.”
Robert looked at Daniel desperately, “I’ll keep an eye on her tonight.” he said, “But other than that, there’s nothing I can do.”
Daniel went over and brought the trashcan on the other end of our room. “This might come in handy,” he said.
I mouthed a thank you and he nodded then headed out of the room. Robert stayed where he was and said to me, “Go to sleep, honey.”
It wasn’t those words themselves that made me go to sleep but they did give me permission to do so. I’m not sure when I fell asleep or how but eventually I did drift off into snooze land, no dreams attached, at least none that I remembered.
When I woke up, Robert was sleeping on the floor next to my bed and Jessica was on the other side of the room, looking over at me. I suddenly felt extremely guilty about what had happened. What the hell was I thinking? Drinking? And on Robert and Daniel’s wedding anniversary? Why would I do such a thing? I really don’t know. I guess I was just in a desperate place but that still wasn’t an excuse. I didn’t expect either Daniel or Robert to give me a break about this though a part of me still desperately hoped they would.
I sat up painfully, feeling like someone had punched me in the stomach, and Jessica spoke to me, “How you feeling, Kate?” she asked.
“Do you want an honest answer?” I asked her in response.
“Yes.”
“Like crap.” There, I said it; blunt as that.
“You really shouldn’t have done that last night. It was a big mistake, Kate.”
“I know,” I whispered. “And I feel terrible about it.” I paused. “Do you think they’ll spank me for this?”
“I don’t know, Katelyn.” she said. “I don’t know.”
“Neither do I.” I whispered.
Robert rolled over and groaned then sat up and looked up at me, “How you feeling, Kate?”
“Like crap.” I said.
He stood up and sat down on the bed. “I’d imagine so,” he said. “Seems like you got yourself trashed last night.”
“I know.” I said. “I feel terrible about it.”
“Well, you, Daniel and I will talk about this later, after you feel a little better,” he paused. “Are you okay enough to where I can leave for a little bit?”
I nodded, “I’m fine Robert. Go ahead.”
“Okay, I’ll be back. Get some rest, you’ll need it.”
I looked at Jessica and sighed. I definitely wasn’t looking forward to the upcoming events. With a restless mind I laid down and fell back into sleep, and this time, it wasn’t dreamless. It was just another nightmare, about my parents and what had just happened. And it was terrible.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
When I woke up it was dark outside and no one was in the room with me. I looked at the clock; it read 8:32. I must have slept for over 9 hours. Oh well, at least I was well rested now, but that definitely didn’t mean I was ready for this talk I was going to have with Robert and Daniel. Regardless, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my time in bed. I was the type of girl who at some point, wanted to get things over with. Sure, immediately I was a procrastinator but once I got to a certain point, I just wanted things over with. So, I changed my clothes because I had been in jeans and a t-shirt that entire time and wanted to be uncomfortable and I headed downstairs.
I was just going down the stairs when I stopped because I heard Daniel and Robert talking.
“I don’t know what to do, Daniel,” Robert said. “Katelyn isn’t like this. She doesn’t do things like this. I don’t get what made her drink last night.”
“Did you ever think that maybe she was more affected than your parents’ deaths than you think she was?”
“No,” Robert replied. “It never even crossed my mind.”
“It’s probably something worth thinking about,” Daniel said. “I bet you anything it had something to do with that.”
“Maybe you’re right. But then there’s the question of what we’re going to do with her.” he paused. “I don’t know if it’s right to spank her right now. This just isn’t like her. It was obviously a last resort for something. She wouldn’t do this for no reason.”
“Well, I guess we’ll talk about it with her when she wakes up.” Daniel replied.
“I guess so.” Robert sighed. “I don’t want to spank her.”
“I know.”
They stopped talking for a moment and I decided that now would be the time to finish walking down the stairs and to enter into the kitchen where they were sitting.
Robert and Daniel looked up at me as I walked through the doorway of the kitchen. “Hey, kiddo. I see you finally decided to get up.” Daniel said.
I fake laughed a little bit, “Yeah,” I replied. “I finally decided to get up.”
“Go ahead and take a seat,” said Daniel.
I nodded, but still not really looking forward to it sat down next to Robert and across from Daniel. “Where’s Jessica?” I asked.
“She’s over at Camilla’s house.”
“Oh…” I replied, slightly shocked. “Okay.” It must have been pretty bad if they wanted to send her to Camilla’s house while they dealt with me.
There was an awkward silence before Robert finally said, “What possessed you to drink last night, Katelyn?”
“I don’t know.” I told him.
“I’m trying to make sense of this in my head and none of it is fitting together. You seemed fine. You were handling mom and dad’s death pretty well.” I wanted to cry at those words but I didn’t. “You’ve been getting good grades. You haven’t gotten into much trouble at all. I don’t understand why you would even think of drinking,” he paused. “This isn’t like you, Katelyn.” another pause. “Just please let me know what is going on, Katelyn. I need to understand.”
I bit my lip. I didn’t like asking for help. I didn’t like showing my emotions. I didn’t want to tell him the truth because that meant I was giving in to letting other people help me. I didn’t want help. I didn’t need help. And as bad as this sounds, I wasn’t Jessica. I was more stable. I was normal. God, I loved her to death but I sure as hell didn’t want to have a problem.
“Katelyn?” Daniel asked, “Are you okay?”
I shook my head, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. “I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay. I will not be okay.” I said. “Robert, I don’t show anything because I don’t want people to know. That’s how I deal with it. I just bury it. But it just spilled over. I drank because I wanted to forget. I just wanted to forget about mom and dad for one day. Turns out it was the worst mistake ever.”
They both remained speechless at what I had just said. Robert took my hands. “It was a mistake, Katelyn. That’s true. But never feel like you have to hide your emotions in front of me, not like this. It isn’t healthy and you’re just going to cause more problems for yourself down the road if you keep doing that.”
I nodded. “I know.”
Robert looked over at Daniel and Daniel looked back. “I’m not sure, Daniel. I’m not so sure it’s ok to do this.”
I gulped. I knew what they were talking about.
“I think we need to, Robert. Regardless of why she did what she did, I think we need to.”
He nodded and then turned to me. “Katelyn, as much as it kills me to do this, I’m going to have to spank you. And I’m sorry, but you did something dangerous that you shouldn’t have done and it could have killed you. Daniel and I can’t let this slide.”
I nodded, tears in my eyes. I understood perfectly, even though I hated every word of what he was saying.
“Go upstairs and wait for us, Katelyn.” Daniel told me.
I nodded again and wiped the tears from my eyes. Robert gave me a hug. Normally he would have been stricter about this. I think he had a soft spot for me in this exact situation; but only because of the reasoning behind the drinking.
I turned around and walked upstairs to my bedroom to wait for them. It seemed like hours, days, even months that I waited for them. But eventually they came up the stairs and Daniel was carrying with him a wooden spoon. I mean, I was slightly surprised but it’s not like I was completely surprised. It’s like this whole situation had just drained everything out of me. I didn’t want to fight anymore. I just wanted to accept the consequences for what they were. Nothing surprised me that night.
“Okay,” Daniel said. “I’m going to spank you with my hand then I’m going to spank you with this spoon. After that Robert is going to spank you with his hand and give you ten smacks with the hairbrush,” I had not noticed the hairbrush in Robert’s hand before and to be perfectly honest, I was quasi afraid by this point. “Okay?”
“Okay.” I answered.
“Stand up, Katelyn.” Daniel said as he sat down next to me on the bed. I stood up and he immediately guided me over his lap, then pulled down my pants and panties and started smacking me mildly. And the worst part was he wasn’t scolding. I almost felt like I’d rather hear his voice than silence. He kept spanking me and spanking me until my bottom was stinging and a few tears had come out of my eyes. I wasn’t fighting though. I’d decided I wouldn’t do that at all.
“Katelyn, Robert and I are very disappointed in the fact that you would do something this dangerous. You could have harmed yourself terribly. In fact, Katelyn, you could have died last night and that would have devastated your brother, Jessica and me not to mention all the other people in your life. You have too much to live for, too many good things going for you to just risk it by binge drinking and at the age of 13? What were you thinking?” he paused. “I hope you realize how serious this is, Katelyn Rose.”
“I do.” I replied.
“Good.” Daniel said and with that he lifted the wooden spoon up and smacked my bottom numerous times, over and over again until I was sure my bottom was bright cherry red. His rhythm wasn’t definite but it hurt like hell nonetheless. All he got out of me was a few tears though. Like I said, I don’t like showing my emotions that much. He ended with two very hard smacks to both of my thighs then lifted me up.
The second he got up, Robert came over and looked at me with sad, disappointed eyes. Then, he sat down on the bed and guided me over, rubbing my back for a moment. “I’m only doing this because I love you, Katelyn. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
I nodded, bracing myself for the first smack. A millisecond later, his hand came crashing down on my backside like a thunderous roar. It hurt like shit. And for some reason, with Robert, I just automatically started crying more. I don’t know what it was for sure but I’m guessing it was probably because I was closer to Robert and disappointing him hurt me more than anything. And Robert, well, you’d think he’d be a little more merciful but it didn’t seem that way as he was crashing his hand into my backside over and over again until I was sure I was going to die.
“I never ever want to hear of you drinking before you’re 21 again, Katelyn Rose.” Robert told me when he had stopped spanking me with his hand. “It’s dangerous and illegal and you could get very hurt by doing that. And believe me, if I ever find out you’ve been drinking again, something worse than what’s happening today will happen. Do you understand me, Katelyn?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’m going to give you ten smacks with the hairbrush, Katelyn and then it will be all over but they’re going to be hard, okay?”
“Okay…” I whispered.
He smacked me the first time incredibly hard and even though I didn’t think they could get worse after that, they just intensified with each smack and before I knew it I was sobbing and sobbing. I didn’t even think it was possible to be able to work up to a sob in that little amount of time but apparently was, especially since everything flooded me at once: my parents being gone, disappointing my brothers, knowing that I could have killed myself the night before. It all just flooded my mind and I started sobbing so much that I couldn’t stop. It was awful.
Robert rubbed my back and tried to calm me down, “Shh, baby. It’s ok, Kate. I’m all done now. We’re not going to spank you anymore. I promise.”
He lifted me up and held me close, hugging me tightly to make up for any pain, emotionally and otherwise that I was feeling. “I know it’s been hard for you, Kate.” he said to me. “But I’m always here for you. I love you.” He kissed my forehead and lifted me up. Daniel walked towards me and gave me a hug as well.
“I love you too, kiddo. Promise me you’ll never do this again.”
“I promise” I told them.
“Good girl.” Daniel said and he smiled, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close as Robert came and did the same.
Yes, it was a bad thing but at least in the end I knew I was loved.
Drinking Young
by Mackenzie
I wasn’t a bad kid, really I wasn’t. I did well in school and I was on the honors roll every quarter. I was on the academic team and I played violin (and not too badly either). I mean, when Robert talked to me sometimes while he was disappointed in or angry with Jessica, he told me he was so happy I was such a good kid. He told me I was easy. It’s not like he didn’t think that Jessica was a good kid. It’s not that he didn’t love her. It’s just that he was disappointed in her quite frequently. But anyways, I guess he was wrong on the whole me being a good kid thing. Because even with all those good things, I sure as hell make stupid and occasionally dangerous mistakes.
So it was April 6th; Robert and Daniel were celebrating their 2 year anniversary with a night out together, going to a fancy restaurant that must have cost an arm and a leg and then later to an ice cream place and maybe a late showing at a movie theater then back here. So, where did that leave me and Jessica? At home alone to reek as much havoc as possible. Okay, so maybe that never really went through my head but the point is I made some dumb decisions that night whereas the supposedly “bad” child was very good that night.
I never thought of myself as one of those people who would make such a stupid mistake. I never saw myself being a big partier and really, I guess what I did didn’t exactly qualify me as a partier, because I was really just out of it that night. And by out of it, I mean that emotionally and physically I was drained. It felt like even after all these months of keeping it together, I was falling apart and the pieces of me would never be put back together again. I guess I did what I did because I felt so alone, even though I knew I wasn’t. And contrary to what Robert thinks, I was never emotionally stable. I just cover it up well and try my hardest to get beyond my emotions. I don’t like being controlled by something like that. It pisses me off when I let my emotions get the best of me.
But that night, that night I didn’t care. All I wanted was to taste alcohol. Maybe it would take away my troubles. This was something I really believed was possible, however false the belief may have been. I just wanted to forget about mom and dad and everything that had happened since they died.
And that’s where I made the mistake.
I remember walking down the stairs to say bye to Robert and Daniel and watching them put on their jackets, a smile on my face but pain in my mind and heart. That day wasn’t a good day.
“Be good, Katelyn.” Robert said and then to Jessica, “The same goes for you too.”
“We will.” Jessica and I said in synchronization. We had that twin thing down pat.
“There’s dinner in the refrigerator. “ Daniel told us. “Chicken and some rice. Make sure you eat.” He said that to both of us but I think it was more directed towards me as I had issues with eating sometimes. I wasn’t really anorexic, but I wasn’t a big fan of eating either which usually led to health problems. And Robert and Daniel had both already sat me down and spoken to me about it.
“I will, Daniel. Geeze, you guys worry too much” I said in a voice with a bit of attitude in it.
“With reason,” Robert replied.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Jessica told him. “Whatever. Just go enjoy your anniversary.”
“Okay… you girls have a good night.” he said as he gave each of us a hug. “I love you both.”
“Love you too,” I said in reply to his statement. Jessica just sort of mumbled the same thing without really saying it.
Then Daniel gave us a hug and said “I love you, girls.”
And that’s when Jessica was actually louder than me in her response. She always was closer to Daniel than Robert, ever since she met him. I mean, I knew why. It wasn’t a surprise. I just wish things were different between the two of them. I wish she would have with Robert what I have with him. But then again, I don’t have with Daniel what she has with him, so I guess it’s a trade off.
“Okay, bye girls.” Robert and Daniel said in unison. I guess after knowing each other for so long they had that down pat too.
After that, they shut the door behind them and we were free to do whatever we wanted. I looked at Jessica for a moment before heading to the kitchen and rummaging through the refrigerator for something, anything alcoholic; wine, beer, it didn’t matter. I just wanted something to drown these feelings of anxiety and pain and depression inside of me away. Maybe alcohol would do the trick. I kept telling myself that same thing all night.
“Katelyn,” Jessica called after me as she turned the corner into the kitchen. “What are you doing…?”
“I’m getting something to drink. What does it look like I’m doing?” I asked as I took out a bottle of wine and a glass from the cupboard.
“It looks exactly like that except that you’re drinking something you’re not supposed to,” she said.
“Who the fuck cares? It’s not like it fucking matters anyway. Robert and Daniel won’t find out.”
“Oh believe me, Katelyn. They will. They most definitely will.”
“Oh well, I’m willing to risk it.”
“I wouldn’t if I were you. And it’s dangerous anyway.”
“I don’t care. I just want to forget things for a little while.” I told her as I poured myself a glass and took a couple of gulps. It actually didn’t taste that bad.
“Katelyn,” Jessica began in a warning tone as she came towards me and put her hand on top of mine before I was about to pour myself a second glass. “No. You can’t have this. You shouldn’t have this.”
“I don’t fucking care, Jess. Leave me the hell alone!” I screamed, pushing her away
She looked at me, shocked. “Katelyn, you’re going to regret this. If it gets too out of hand I’m calling Daniel and Robert.”
“Whatever.” I told her. “Do whatever you want. I don’t care”
She just walked off and into the living room to watch t.v. Hell, I knew she was worried about me and had my best interests in mind but I really didn’t care at the time.
I drank glass after glass and an hour went by, then two hours, then three… as I downed glass after glass of wine. I drank slowly but I still had drunk a lot that night. By the second glass, I don’t remember anything about how much I drank. I just remember feeling incredibly sick and running to the bathroom to throw up. That’s when Jessica came in.
“Kate?” she called in a questioning voice. “Kate, are you ok?” she said as she turned a corner. “Oh my God. Katelyn…” she paused. “I’m calling Robert and Daniel right now.”
“No, no, no… Jess, don’t do that. I’m fi—“ I broke off on the word fine, throwing up in the toilet.
“No you’re not, Katelyn. I’m calling them and that’s final.”
She walked back into the kitchen and picked up the phone and dialed the number. It wasn’t long before someone answered the phone on the other end.
“Daniel?” she paused. “Yeah, it’s Jess. Look, we need for you to come home right now.” Some murmuring on the other end. “Katelyn isn’t doing well. She’s throwing up and she’s… well, just please come home. She’s really sick. I just need you to come home. I don’t know what to do.” A pause. “Okay, I’ll see you in a few. Thanks, Daniel…. Bye.”
She hung up the phone and set it down on the sink counter and then sat down next to me and held my hair back. She pulled my hair back as I threw up and put it in a ponytail with the tie on her wrist. I started crying, “Jess, it hurts...” I whined.
“I know, Kate, I know.” she said, rubbing my back. “Robert and Daniel will be here soon. I promise.”
I nodded, crying as I leaned my head down on the side of the toilet. I was miserable. Drinking was the worst idea ever. It didn’t solve anything. Somewhere in the middle of my thoughts I was interrupted by a door opening and footsteps.
“Katelyn, Jessica!” a voice called. “Where are you?”
“We’re in here!” Jessica called back. “We’re in the bathroom.”
I heard some more footsteps, getting louder and louder until they reached the bathroom we were in. I looked up pitifully at Robert and Daniel, whose mouths were both dropped. I must have looked horrible.
“What happened, Jessica?” Daniel asked, while I could tell that Robert was still shocked.
“She drank.”
“She drank as in like actually drank? Like alcohol or something?” he asked, appalled.
Jessica nodded solemnly, “Yes,” she whispered.
Robert moved towards me and kneeled down next to me. “Sweetie, are you ok?” he asked me, apparently deciding that being kind to me right now was the best way to go.
I only groaned then threw up again. I knew that Robert had one of those shocked looks on his faces. He probably couldn’t get over the fact that I had drank. Me, Katelyn Rose Parker, the supposedly good one, drinking? How could that be possible? Well, it was very possible as I can attest to.
“Jessica,” Daniel began. “Go upstairs. I’ll be up in a second to talk to you.”
She nodded and headed upstairs to our bedroom as I threw up again. Daniel sighed and sat down next to me, rubbing my back. Robert was still looking at me with concerned eyes. “I know she’ll probably be fine,” he said. “If she didn’t have too much. But I don’t know how much she had so I can’t determine whether she has alcohol poisoning or not,” he sighed. “This was not what I wanted to come home to.”
“I know, hon.” Daniel said.
“I think she’s going to be okay. But that doesn’t make me any less worried,” he said. “She’s my sister. Of course I’m worried.”
“I know you are. I am too.” Daniel paused. “Listen, I’m going to go upstairs and talk to Jessica about what happened. You should stay here with Katelyn.”
“I was planning on it.” Robert replied and then muttered under his breath, “Great way to end my anniversary.” He probably didn’t think I could hear him.
I cried more now, feeling even guiltier which upset my stomach more which caused me to throw up again for about the 10th time. I wished I hadn’t done this. I’d just ruined their entire evening. I felt terrible and not just physically either.
I coughed as if I was about to hack something up and cried then started saying, “I’m sor… I’m sor-so-rry, Robert.” I hiccupped and then threw up again, groaning.
“It’s okay, Kate,” he said. “You need to calm down. That’s why you keep throwing up, you’re not calm. Just take deep breaths. Try to calm yourself. Don’t cry so much.”
I nodded but still cried a little bit and I kept crying consequently throwing up until I eventually calmed down enough to where Robert could tell I wasn’t going to throw up anymore and carried me up to my room. He tried to lift me up and support my weight for me but just decided to carry me instead since I fell every time he tried that.
He took the stairs slowly, so as not to upset my stomach and walked to the end of the hall where my and Jessica’s room was, opening the door and walking in then setting me down on my bed. Daniel was across the room on Jessica’s bed, trying to comfort her. I think she was crying, but I couldn’t be sure.
Robert sat down next to me and felt my forehead, acting like the doctor he really was. “You don’t have a fever, Kate, so that’s good.”
Daniel came over and kneeled down beside my bed. I could hear Jessica crying in the background but I was too exhausted to do anything about it, “That was a bad idea, kiddo.”
I nodded, not able to say anything though I desperately wanted to say “I know.”
Robert looked at Daniel desperately, “I’ll keep an eye on her tonight.” he said, “But other than that, there’s nothing I can do.”
Daniel went over and brought the trashcan on the other end of our room. “This might come in handy,” he said.
I mouthed a thank you and he nodded then headed out of the room. Robert stayed where he was and said to me, “Go to sleep, honey.”
It wasn’t those words themselves that made me go to sleep but they did give me permission to do so. I’m not sure when I fell asleep or how but eventually I did drift off into snooze land, no dreams attached, at least none that I remembered.
When I woke up, Robert was sleeping on the floor next to my bed and Jessica was on the other side of the room, looking over at me. I suddenly felt extremely guilty about what had happened. What the hell was I thinking? Drinking? And on Robert and Daniel’s wedding anniversary? Why would I do such a thing? I really don’t know. I guess I was just in a desperate place but that still wasn’t an excuse. I didn’t expect either Daniel or Robert to give me a break about this though a part of me still desperately hoped they would.
I sat up painfully, feeling like someone had punched me in the stomach, and Jessica spoke to me, “How you feeling, Kate?” she asked.
“Do you want an honest answer?” I asked her in response.
“Yes.”
“Like crap.” There, I said it; blunt as that.
“You really shouldn’t have done that last night. It was a big mistake, Kate.”
“I know,” I whispered. “And I feel terrible about it.” I paused. “Do you think they’ll spank me for this?”
“I don’t know, Katelyn.” she said. “I don’t know.”
“Neither do I.” I whispered.
Robert rolled over and groaned then sat up and looked up at me, “How you feeling, Kate?”
“Like crap.” I said.
He stood up and sat down on the bed. “I’d imagine so,” he said. “Seems like you got yourself trashed last night.”
“I know.” I said. “I feel terrible about it.”
“Well, you, Daniel and I will talk about this later, after you feel a little better,” he paused. “Are you okay enough to where I can leave for a little bit?”
I nodded, “I’m fine Robert. Go ahead.”
“Okay, I’ll be back. Get some rest, you’ll need it.”
I looked at Jessica and sighed. I definitely wasn’t looking forward to the upcoming events. With a restless mind I laid down and fell back into sleep, and this time, it wasn’t dreamless. It was just another nightmare, about my parents and what had just happened. And it was terrible.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
When I woke up it was dark outside and no one was in the room with me. I looked at the clock; it read 8:32. I must have slept for over 9 hours. Oh well, at least I was well rested now, but that definitely didn’t mean I was ready for this talk I was going to have with Robert and Daniel. Regardless, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my time in bed. I was the type of girl who at some point, wanted to get things over with. Sure, immediately I was a procrastinator but once I got to a certain point, I just wanted things over with. So, I changed my clothes because I had been in jeans and a t-shirt that entire time and wanted to be uncomfortable and I headed downstairs.
I was just going down the stairs when I stopped because I heard Daniel and Robert talking.
“I don’t know what to do, Daniel,” Robert said. “Katelyn isn’t like this. She doesn’t do things like this. I don’t get what made her drink last night.”
“Did you ever think that maybe she was more affected than your parents’ deaths than you think she was?”
“No,” Robert replied. “It never even crossed my mind.”
“It’s probably something worth thinking about,” Daniel said. “I bet you anything it had something to do with that.”
“Maybe you’re right. But then there’s the question of what we’re going to do with her.” he paused. “I don’t know if it’s right to spank her right now. This just isn’t like her. It was obviously a last resort for something. She wouldn’t do this for no reason.”
“Well, I guess we’ll talk about it with her when she wakes up.” Daniel replied.
“I guess so.” Robert sighed. “I don’t want to spank her.”
“I know.”
They stopped talking for a moment and I decided that now would be the time to finish walking down the stairs and to enter into the kitchen where they were sitting.
Robert and Daniel looked up at me as I walked through the doorway of the kitchen. “Hey, kiddo. I see you finally decided to get up.” Daniel said.
I fake laughed a little bit, “Yeah,” I replied. “I finally decided to get up.”
“Go ahead and take a seat,” said Daniel.
I nodded, but still not really looking forward to it sat down next to Robert and across from Daniel. “Where’s Jessica?” I asked.
“She’s over at Camilla’s house.”
“Oh…” I replied, slightly shocked. “Okay.” It must have been pretty bad if they wanted to send her to Camilla’s house while they dealt with me.
There was an awkward silence before Robert finally said, “What possessed you to drink last night, Katelyn?”
“I don’t know.” I told him.
“I’m trying to make sense of this in my head and none of it is fitting together. You seemed fine. You were handling mom and dad’s death pretty well.” I wanted to cry at those words but I didn’t. “You’ve been getting good grades. You haven’t gotten into much trouble at all. I don’t understand why you would even think of drinking,” he paused. “This isn’t like you, Katelyn.” another pause. “Just please let me know what is going on, Katelyn. I need to understand.”
I bit my lip. I didn’t like asking for help. I didn’t like showing my emotions. I didn’t want to tell him the truth because that meant I was giving in to letting other people help me. I didn’t want help. I didn’t need help. And as bad as this sounds, I wasn’t Jessica. I was more stable. I was normal. God, I loved her to death but I sure as hell didn’t want to have a problem.
“Katelyn?” Daniel asked, “Are you okay?”
I shook my head, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. “I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay. I will not be okay.” I said. “Robert, I don’t show anything because I don’t want people to know. That’s how I deal with it. I just bury it. But it just spilled over. I drank because I wanted to forget. I just wanted to forget about mom and dad for one day. Turns out it was the worst mistake ever.”
They both remained speechless at what I had just said. Robert took my hands. “It was a mistake, Katelyn. That’s true. But never feel like you have to hide your emotions in front of me, not like this. It isn’t healthy and you’re just going to cause more problems for yourself down the road if you keep doing that.”
I nodded. “I know.”
Robert looked over at Daniel and Daniel looked back. “I’m not sure, Daniel. I’m not so sure it’s ok to do this.”
I gulped. I knew what they were talking about.
“I think we need to, Robert. Regardless of why she did what she did, I think we need to.”
He nodded and then turned to me. “Katelyn, as much as it kills me to do this, I’m going to have to spank you. And I’m sorry, but you did something dangerous that you shouldn’t have done and it could have killed you. Daniel and I can’t let this slide.”
I nodded, tears in my eyes. I understood perfectly, even though I hated every word of what he was saying.
“Go upstairs and wait for us, Katelyn.” Daniel told me.
I nodded again and wiped the tears from my eyes. Robert gave me a hug. Normally he would have been stricter about this. I think he had a soft spot for me in this exact situation; but only because of the reasoning behind the drinking.
I turned around and walked upstairs to my bedroom to wait for them. It seemed like hours, days, even months that I waited for them. But eventually they came up the stairs and Daniel was carrying with him a wooden spoon. I mean, I was slightly surprised but it’s not like I was completely surprised. It’s like this whole situation had just drained everything out of me. I didn’t want to fight anymore. I just wanted to accept the consequences for what they were. Nothing surprised me that night.
“Okay,” Daniel said. “I’m going to spank you with my hand then I’m going to spank you with this spoon. After that Robert is going to spank you with his hand and give you ten smacks with the hairbrush,” I had not noticed the hairbrush in Robert’s hand before and to be perfectly honest, I was quasi afraid by this point. “Okay?”
“Okay.” I answered.
“Stand up, Katelyn.” Daniel said as he sat down next to me on the bed. I stood up and he immediately guided me over his lap, then pulled down my pants and panties and started smacking me mildly. And the worst part was he wasn’t scolding. I almost felt like I’d rather hear his voice than silence. He kept spanking me and spanking me until my bottom was stinging and a few tears had come out of my eyes. I wasn’t fighting though. I’d decided I wouldn’t do that at all.
“Katelyn, Robert and I are very disappointed in the fact that you would do something this dangerous. You could have harmed yourself terribly. In fact, Katelyn, you could have died last night and that would have devastated your brother, Jessica and me not to mention all the other people in your life. You have too much to live for, too many good things going for you to just risk it by binge drinking and at the age of 13? What were you thinking?” he paused. “I hope you realize how serious this is, Katelyn Rose.”
“I do.” I replied.
“Good.” Daniel said and with that he lifted the wooden spoon up and smacked my bottom numerous times, over and over again until I was sure my bottom was bright cherry red. His rhythm wasn’t definite but it hurt like hell nonetheless. All he got out of me was a few tears though. Like I said, I don’t like showing my emotions that much. He ended with two very hard smacks to both of my thighs then lifted me up.
The second he got up, Robert came over and looked at me with sad, disappointed eyes. Then, he sat down on the bed and guided me over, rubbing my back for a moment. “I’m only doing this because I love you, Katelyn. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
I nodded, bracing myself for the first smack. A millisecond later, his hand came crashing down on my backside like a thunderous roar. It hurt like shit. And for some reason, with Robert, I just automatically started crying more. I don’t know what it was for sure but I’m guessing it was probably because I was closer to Robert and disappointing him hurt me more than anything. And Robert, well, you’d think he’d be a little more merciful but it didn’t seem that way as he was crashing his hand into my backside over and over again until I was sure I was going to die.
“I never ever want to hear of you drinking before you’re 21 again, Katelyn Rose.” Robert told me when he had stopped spanking me with his hand. “It’s dangerous and illegal and you could get very hurt by doing that. And believe me, if I ever find out you’ve been drinking again, something worse than what’s happening today will happen. Do you understand me, Katelyn?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’m going to give you ten smacks with the hairbrush, Katelyn and then it will be all over but they’re going to be hard, okay?”
“Okay…” I whispered.
He smacked me the first time incredibly hard and even though I didn’t think they could get worse after that, they just intensified with each smack and before I knew it I was sobbing and sobbing. I didn’t even think it was possible to be able to work up to a sob in that little amount of time but apparently was, especially since everything flooded me at once: my parents being gone, disappointing my brothers, knowing that I could have killed myself the night before. It all just flooded my mind and I started sobbing so much that I couldn’t stop. It was awful.
Robert rubbed my back and tried to calm me down, “Shh, baby. It’s ok, Kate. I’m all done now. We’re not going to spank you anymore. I promise.”
He lifted me up and held me close, hugging me tightly to make up for any pain, emotionally and otherwise that I was feeling. “I know it’s been hard for you, Kate.” he said to me. “But I’m always here for you. I love you.” He kissed my forehead and lifted me up. Daniel walked towards me and gave me a hug as well.
“I love you too, kiddo. Promise me you’ll never do this again.”
“I promise” I told them.
“Good girl.” Daniel said and he smiled, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close as Robert came and did the same.
Yes, it was a bad thing but at least in the end I knew I was loved.
15 January 2010
Story: The F-Word
My first story in the Jessica/Katelyn series. Jessica always makes sure that she gets her point of view across, even if that means punching someone in the face. Her vice principal, whom she has come to know fairly well over the last couple of months, has finally decided to take action and get Robert involved. Poor Jessica.
The F-Word
by Breanna Carter
“Landon is a fag-got!!!” Patrick chanted in the lunch room, milk carton in hand, doubling over with laughter. “I bet even your mom takes it up the ass!”
Now I'm not Landon, nor is Landon a friend of mine, but when someone says the f-word, it pisses me off. So I shushed my friend, Camilla. “Just a sec,” I said, marching up to Patrick. “Hey! Don't call him that!”
Patrick seemed taken aback that I, an unpopular kid and a measly seventh grader, would try to challenge him. “Oh yeah? And why not?”
“Because there's nothing wrong with being gay. And I don't like the way you're talking to him.”
Patrick and his friends chuckled, looking at each other, then back at me. “There's nothing wrong with being gay, huh? Is that 'cause you're a dyke?”
My eyes narrowed. I knew these kinds of people – they were the jocks. Football players who got some kind of pleasure out of insulting anyone who didn't live up to their standards. Guys who thought everyone had to be a carbon copy of them and their sleezy girlfriends. These were the types of people who used to taunt my older brothers, shoving them into lockers, making them feel inadequate and scared. These were the types of people who would throw their own children out on the street if they found out they were attracted to someone of the same sex.
“Is it because you're scared that you may be gay? Is that why you're always in the gym, beefing yourself up, trying to make yourself look more masculine? Is that why you make fun of people who are less steroid-looking? So others won't realize that you're really homosexual?” I shook my head. “That's sad. You should just embrace your inner gay-ness.”
He got mad now, inching towards me. “Who the hell do you think you're talking to?” he asked. He was trying to intimidate me, but it wasn't working. Even if he did stand three inches taller than me, and weighed about thirty pounds more, I didn't care. Being a softball player had given me all the muscle and endurance I needed to take on a big guy like him... and the anger that boiled inside of me would make up for what muscle lacked.
“I think I'm talking to some prick-headed fourteen year old dumbass football player who likes to pick on kids who aren't like him. Give it a rest and get over yourself.”
“Jess...” I heard Camilla plead, but I waved her off.
“So I suggest you apologize to our friend Landon over here and stop using derogatory language against non-heterosexuals.”
Patrick and the jocks thought this was the most hilarious thing they had ever heard. I thought the dummy on the right was going to keel over from laughing so hard. “Or else what?” Patrick spat, still in my face.
I smirked slightly. He had no idea who he was messing with. In a flash, I made a fist and wound up, punching him in the bridge of his nose. Nobody had expected it. And they certainly didn't expect it when I kneed him in the balls. So now not only was he holding his bleeding face, but he was also bent over, clutching his nut sac. Victory.
“Any of the rest of you douchebags wanna mess with me?” I asked, glaring at the guys surrounding.
Patrick was trying to say something to me, but couldn't get the words out.
“Glad I got my point across,” I said to him as the security guard escorted me away.
That's how I ended up in the vice principal, Mr. Shevins', office. I sat with my backpack next to me, holding a pen between my fingers, tapping it on the palm of my other hand. I wasn't exactly nervous – I'd done this for a good cause and Mr. Shevins and I had become acquainted a lot in my two years at Lincoln Middle School – I was just fidgety. I blame it on ADD.
“Jessica Parker,” the man said, straightening his tie and folding his hands on his desk in front of him. “Long time no see. How are you?”
“I'm great, Mr. Shevins. How are you? How's the wife and new baby?”
“They're great, thanks for asking,” he paused, smiling. “How is it living with your brother? And how are you holding out since the death of your parents?”
I shrugged. “It's okay, I guess.”
He nodded.
I looked down at the pen, now twirling it. “It's hard, ya know? Robert and I never really got along that great. I mean, I love him and all, but it's hard living with him. Really hard.”
Mr. Shevins knew my whole life story. After my parents died I saw him on almost a weekly basis for one reason or another, you know, for fighting or attitude with teachers, and he had really become the only person I could open up to. I preferred talking to him even over the counselor my brother and his husband were paying hundreds of dollars a month for me to see.
“Are you trying to talk to him a little more? Using calm words instead of yelling or fighting?”
“I'm trying,” I lied. “But whatever. It's all good.”
He nodded, knowing that I was lying. “Okay, I get it. So what happened today?” he asked, putting on his glasses and glancing down at the paper in front of him.
“I decked this kid in the nose, but he deserved it.”
He peered at me over his glasses. “Jessica...”
“I know, I need to try to resolve conflict with words instead of fists. But he provoked me. He was practically begging me to beat him up.”
Mr. Shevins sighed and finished reading the referral slip, then dropped the paper back on his desk. He took his glasses back off, staring at me hard. “What are we going to do with you?” he asked exasperatedly.
“I really think that Patrick is the problem and not me... So if you want an honest answer I think...”
“Patrick didn't even hit you...”
“... that someone should have a good-talking to with him. He called this boy the f-word! And he totally shouldn't do that. And I think that I should be let off with a warning.”
“The f-word?”
I nodded, but he just looked at me like he was confused. “You know,” I said. “F-a-g...?”
“Oh. Right.” He shook his head again, rolling his chair back and digging my file out of his filing cabinet. “Jessica, you do realize that this is the third time you've been sent to me for fighting this month?”
“I know, but I'm trying to do better. I really am... It's just with my parents...”
He held up his hand to silence me. “I know that it's been a difficult time for you, which is why I haven't done anything the last...” he paused, flipping through some pages and undoubtably counting to himself “... eight times you've gotten in a fight. Not to mention the other referrals I have here...”
I didn't like the sound of this. “Please just give me one more chance?” I pleaded.
He sighed. “I think it's time we have a conference with Robert.”
“What? No... Mr. Shevins... please. Patrick provoked me. And...”
“I know the excuses, Jess. And I know they're valid. But you've also been getting away with way too much.” He paused. “You do realize that, right?”
I began chewing on my lower lip, glancing at the clock, then the bookshelf, trying not to cry. I had always been able to talk my way out of trouble. Why was it not working this time? Did Mr. Shevins honestly think that I'd gotten that out of control?
“I have a soft spot for you, kid. You've been through a lot, especially since the beginning of this school year. But I'm afraid that if I keep letting you talk your way out of trouble, you're going to end up in a big mess.”
“Are...” I began, pausing to swallow the lump in my throat that was now forming. “Are you going to tell Robert about... everything?”
“I will not tell him the details. I will tell him about the fight today, and how you've already received a warning for fighting.”
I didn't say anything.
“And you will have a Saturday detention.”
I slumped down in my chair, leaning my head back and letting a tear fall down my cheek. “What about Patrick?” I asked in a near whisper.
He chuckled. “I think you took care of that.”
I glanced up at my vice principal, wiping the tear. Big girls don't cry. And I would not be caught dead crying anywhere other than this office. “That's not fair,” I said.
“I'm not entirely sure that it's fair you've already gotten away with eight fights previous to this one, but we will pretend like it is. You know that Patrick's family is quite economically sound, right?” I nodded. “So let's say for a second that I let you get away with this little fight. His parents would probably be infuriated and seek legal action against not only the school, but against you as well. And if that happens, your brother will find out anyway, and the outcome will be much worse than a Saturday detention. Because what you did could probably be considered assault.”
“Point taken,” I said. “But for the record, all eight of those 'fights' weren't really fights. You can't count shoving someone or arguing as an actual fight.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Point taken.”
I smiled. “Fine. I guess go ahead and call Robert. Just be ready for the explosion. But let me tell you one thing, if I ever hear Patrick calling anyone the f-word again, I will...”
He held up a hand to stop me again, just like he was a crossing guard or something. “I don't want to hear it! You will always be you, Jess, and I can imagine what you will do. But the second it comes out of your mouth it becomes a threat and unless you want me filing a report saying that you're threatening to harm someone, I suggest you keep it to yourself.”
“What? I was going to say that I will... hug... him.” I tried not to giggle at that statement.
“Is Robert at work?”
“That's a pretty dumb question. Of course he's at work. He works everyday.”
“Girl, you have a mouth on you that you're going to use on the wrong person one day.”
I glanced at the clock. “He might be on his lunch break though. I'd try calling his cell phone first, and if he doesn't answer that then call his office.”
Mr. Shevins picked up his phone and punched some numbers on the keypad, hanging up shortly after. “Guess he's finished with lunch.” He put the receiver to his ear again and dialed a new number, what I was assuming to be the number to his office. From my seat I could hear the receptionist's cacophonous (hah! See? I did listen during my vocabulary lessons!) voice telling the caller that he had reached Dr. Richardson/Cruz/Parker/Benedetto's office and to please hold. I loved when they did that.
“She's a bitch,” I mouthed to my vice principal who turned away to pretend like he didn't just hear me say a bad word.
It took her seventy seconds to get back on the phone (yes, I was counting). He explained that he was calling for Robert Parker on behalf of Lincoln Middle School in reference to Dr. Parker's little sister, Jessica. Yes, he would hold for just a minute.
I pulled my feet into the chair, knees up to my chest. I clicked my pen on and off now, probably something that would irritate anyone in the room with me except for Mr. Shevins. He was used to my ADD-ness.
I shivered slightly when I heard the male voice answer the phone. There was no getting out of this now.
“Hi, Mr. Parker, how are you?” He paused to wait for my brother's answer, which I could only hear as a muffled voice. “Doing well, thank you. I was calling to see if you can come in today for a conference about Jessica's behavior.” He paused again and I looked up at him, tears in my eyes again. “Yes, everything is fine. We are just having some issues that I would like to discuss with you.” Another pause. “No, don't do that, we can meet after three thirty. Why don't you come about four? Jessica can go ahead and get an after school detention out of the way if you do that.” He looked at me and smiled. After school detention? Really? Why was he smiling at me? Was this supposed to be a good thing? “Great. See you then, Mr. Parker. Buh-bye.” He clicked the phone down.
I perked up, putting my feet back down on the ground, still clicking my pen. “Well?”
“Your brother has appointments until three-thirty and he will be here about four. I decided to give you two after school detentions instead of a Saturday detention. I assumed you'd prefer that since you'll have to stay here after school anyway... Unless you want to come up here on a Saturday...”
“No no... after school is fine.”
He wrote down a couple of notes on the referral sheet, then stuffed it in my file with the other papers.
“Will I ever get to look at my file and see what you all say about me?”
“Go to class, Jessica.” He signed a pass and held it out to me. “And don't get into any more fights, okay?”
“You didn't answer my question,” I huffed, but stood up and snatched the pass from him.
“Goodbye.”
“Bye Mr. Shevins. And thanks for not being too hard on me.”
“Yeah, well, don't push your luck. My nice-ness is starting to fade away.”
“I noticed,” I answered as I approached the doorway. I waved goodbye and stalked out, throwing my backpack over my shoulder. It hadn't been an ideal meeting with my vice principal, but I guess it could've always been worse. I uber wasn't looking forward to what Robert was going to have to say, though. Or do, for that matter.
The rest of my day was quite uneventful. Camilla found me between classes and almost made us both late because she wanted to know the details of my chat with Mr. Shevins. She was sort of surprised that I got off so easily. Oh, then I had my last class with my twin sister, Katelyn, who had gotten word of what I'd done at lunch (shit spreads too quickly through my school, I swear) and was freaking out because she just knew I'd get suspended. I told her to chill out. Mr. Shevins and I were cool with each other. There was no way he'd suspend me. She then wanted to know what he'd said/done so I told her. Then she freaked out some more saying that Robert was going to kill me. Whatever. I'm not scared of him. Much.
Detention came all too quickly, and I swear, that was probably the worst hour ever. Aside from the fact that I was bored out of my mind, I was anxious as hell. I was ready to get this conference with my older brother over with, yet wanted to prolong it as long as possible. But the anticipation was eating me alive. I wondered what Robert would say and do. I wondered what all Mr. Shevins would even tell him. And mostly, I wondered if what Katelyn said was true – that I would probably get spanked. I had so far avoided that punishment (don't ask me how), but according to my sis, this would probably do it. I was definitely worried about that.
The detention teacher dismissed us five minutes before four. I wondered where Robert was and if he'd stopped by the house before coming to the school. And if Daniel was going to come with him. And if Katelyn was going to be there. And if he was going to yell at me when he saw me. I wasn't too into the idea of a shouting match in the middle of the hallway at school. Well, at least most of the student body had already left. The only people around were the members of the dance team who were tumbling around outside and the dance committee members who were painting signs about the spring bash.
I shuffled slowly to the office, running my fingers against the wall on the way. I stopped about halfway there to read the announcements on the bulletin board. Nothing interesting there. Most of them were old flyers from student council elections or club meetings. I continued on my way arriving at the office much sooner than I'd have liked... which wasn't hard, seeing as I would have liked to never arrive there.
No one was really around, so I tapped on Mr. Shevins' door.
“Come in,” he said, so I pushed the door open.
“Hey. Robert's still not here?”
Mr. S looked up at his clock. “Nope. He's still got a couple of minutes. Take a seat.”
I plopped down watching him finish some paperwork. “Whatcha doin'?”
“Just finishing some work.” Vague enough. “How was your afternoon?”
“Better than my morning.”
“That's good to hear. No more fights then, I assume?”
“Nope.”
He was about to say something else, but was distracted by two figures barging through the office door. I looked back to see Robert and Daniel, neither looking too thrilled about being at my school.
Mr. Shevins stood, smoothing out his tie and walking towards the two men. He introduced himself and snagged a chair from the waiting area, ushering my brothers to his office. He placed the chair between the one I was sitting in and the other and asked them to please sit. I was not ready for this at all. My throat was dry now and my palms sweaty, shaking slightly. I had to be tough, though. I had to let them know that I hadn't done anything wrong. That I was just defending this kid. Surely they would understand. Right?
The conference started out with small talk and uncomfortable laughs between Robert and Mr. Shevins, with Daniel looking in my direction, a not-so-happy expression on his face. Then they got down to the nitty gritty.
“Jessica was in a fight today.”
There. He said it. I sort of winced at the words, and kept my gaze averted towards the cobweb in the corner of his office.
“It's not the first time this has happened – she received a warning in the past.”
I felt three pairs of eyes staring at me.
“Jessica, do you want to tell them what happened?”
No, I really did not. But I think it was more of a request than a question, and I didn't want to make this situation any worse. Besides, this was my chance to use my gift for words.
I looked up at Mr. Shevins, glancing over at my brothers, then back to Mr. Shevins. I could look in his eyes as I told my story, explaining what was going through my head and why I'd decided to beat the crap out of an eighth grader twice my size. I told every detail, probably exaggerating some parts for my own benefit. Then I went back to staring at my cobweb, letting Mr. S go on with what he had to say. It was actually nothing really that interesting. He just let them know what my punishment was and that he was worried that I was veering off to the wrong path and he didn't want to see that happen to me since I was mostly a good kid. He also told them that he knew my circumstances and had let me off fairly lightly, but would likely not continue to do so in the future if this happens again. Robert assured him that I would be dealt with adequately at home. I said nothing.
The meeting was over at 4:22. The hallways were empty of the dance committee and our steps echoed as we trudged towards the car. “What's for dinner?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation on lighter topics and not the fact that we'd just had a conference about my behavior.
Neither of my brothers answered me, just continued walking ahead.
“Did you guys have a good day?” I asked after a few seconds of silence. I couldn't deal with the silent treatment. Quiet drove me crazy.
“Was okay until I got a phone call from Mr. Shevins,” Robert said.
And then silence again.
I busied myself with running my fingers against the wall until we got outside. Then I concentrated on trying not to step on the cracks in the sidewalk. It was what I had to do to keep from being worried about being in trouble.
When we got in the car, Robert blew up. “What were you thinking, Jessica Lynne?”
“I already told you what I was thinking. The douchebag called someone...”
“A faggot, yeah, I know...”
“Don't say it out loud!”
“... but why do you think that gives you the right to pound on him like that?”
“I get my temper from you,” I sneered, folding my arms and staring out the window.
Robert looked at Daniel who shrugged.
“The guy deserved it. He was a prick and needed to be put in his place.” No one could disagree with that statement.
“Why didn't you just tell a teacher?”
“Tell a teacher? Hah!” I laughed. “The teachers don't care. They probably call people the f-word in their sleep.”
He sighed. “What bothers me the most is that you resorted to violence in a situation where it wasn't warranted. Oh, and that this isn't the first time that you've fought at school. How come I didn't know about previous altercations?”
“Ugh! Who cares about what happened in the past? It's done and over with. And who cares that I punched him? He deserved it. He was a douche. End of story.”
“Do not use that tone with me, Young Lady.”
“Then don't use YOUR tone with me! This is stupid and unfair! I don't deserve to get in trouble for this. I was just standing up for what I believe in!” I was pretty livid by this time, and on the verge of punching something else.
I think that Robert was about to go into cardiac arrest at my outburst. “Are you really talking to me like that, Jessica?”
“Yeah.”
Daniel spoke softly to Robert now, probably telling him to calm down, then turned around. “You need to cool it with the attitude, girl.”
“Tell him to cool it with the attitude! He's getting all up in my business for nothing!”
“For nothing?” Robert said, glancing at me in the rearview mirror. “You got in a fight at school! Do you even realize how serious this is? You could've gotten suspended! The only reason you didn't is because Mr. Shevins feels sorry for you!”
“Whatever,” I said, and pulled my ipod out of my backpack, plugging my ears with more poetic screaming (with some whining added in). I turned the volume up loud enough to where I couldn't hear Robert's rant, putting the hood on my jacket up so that he couldn't see that I wasn't listening to him. He's not an idiot, though, and within seconds Daniel was turned around tugging my earphones out.
“You do NOT ignore me when I'm talking to you!”
“Shut UP!” I shouted back. “You're not my fucking dad! You're just my brother, you're just Robert, okay? So leave me alone and stop trying to be my dad, 'cause you're not him!!!” I almost started crying but instead punched the door and swallowed the lump, breathing in.
Robert gave up on talking for the rest of the ride. Not that it mattered. I wasn't going to listen to him anyway. Oh, and the rest of the ride only lasted about two minutes.
We pulled into the driveway and I instantly opened my door, then slammed it behind me, storming into the house. I stomped up the stairs.
“Jessica Lynne Parker! Get down here!” Robert yelled.
“NO!” I yelled back.
I made it to my room and slammed the door shut, rattling the walls a little. Katelyn was lying on her bed with her math book open and glanced up upon my arrival.
“Bad conference?”
“I don't wanna talk about it,” I muttered, slumping down to the floor and sitting against the door. I felt rotten inside, not only because I was pissed off, but also because I knew I was in deep trouble. I shouldn't have talked to my brother like that, and I knew it, but I just couldn't help it. I hated him so much sometimes.
Katelyn shrugged and went back to doing her homework. I knew the curiosity had to be eating her alive. I was about to give her the gruesome details, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Go away,” I said.
He didn't listen to me, but tried to open the door, only to find that I was leaning against it.
“Jessica, it's me. Stop acting immature and let me in,” Daniel said.
I rolled my eyes and stood up, opening the door. “What do you want?”
“We need to talk.” He barged in without my permission, not allowing me the chance to protest. Instead, he glanced at my sister. “Can you give us a few minutes, Kate, please?”
Katelyn nodded and closed her book, tucking it under her arm and stalking away silently.
I opened my mouth to say something again, but Daniel beat me to it. “I don't know where you get this idea that you can speak to your brother like that, but I will assure you right now that it is going to stop, Young Lady, do you understand me?”
“But...”
“I didn't ask for an explanation. I asked if you understood me. That is a yes or no question.”
I folded my arms.
“I am speaking to you respectfully and like an adult, and I expect you to do the same with me.”
I didn't say anything.
“Sit down. Let's talk.”
He didn't give me much of a choice, but instead grabbed my wrist and walked with me to my bed, sitting me down and easing himself down next to me.
“I am very disappointed in you, Jessica,” he said calmly, moving my chin so that I was looking into his eyes instead of the carpet. “I cannot believe that you would act the way you just did. I expected more out of you.” Ouch. “It was almost like there was a different person in the car with me a few minutes ago. Aren't you embarrassed at the immaturity that you just displayed?”
I shrugged. “I was mad. Robert was being mean.”
“That's where you're wrong, Young Lady. Robert wasn't being mean. He was trying to understand what happened today.”
“He was yelling at me.”
“He was not yelling...”
“Yes he was!” I said, a little too loudly.
Daniel paused a second. “Are you getting sharp with me?”
Oops. “Sorry.”
“Your brother cares deeply for you, Jessica. He took you in when you had no one. He is trying to do the right thing here. For one, you have to give him a break – he doesn't know how to raise a teenage girl. And I assure you that he is doing his damnedest to do the best job he can. And secondly, you need to look at the situation from his point of view. He received a call this afternoon from his little sister's school talking about a conference. He gets there to find out that she's been in a fight, and while she had been provoked – I'll give you that – it had clearly not been out of self-defense... don't talk, just listen,” he ordered when he saw me open my mouth. “The fight was clearly not out of self-defense as she had not been pushed, hit, slapped, or punched. And to top it off, she has been in fights before this one, so this fighting thing seems to be a reoccurring pattern. When he asks her what she was thinking, she not only gets defensive, but also starts yelling and getting very disrespectful with him. Come on, Jess, I know that you can see it from his point of view.”
“Well, I don't.”
“Don't you want to be an attorney? You know you have to be able to look at both points of view if you're going to do that type of work.”
I folded my arms and poked out my lower lip in a pout. He was right, though. I took a second to think about how Robert had felt about the whole situation, and kind of understood. Kind of.
“I still don't think I should be in trouble,” I said.
“Okay. Now, why couldn't you have spoken that calmly to Robert earlier?”
“I dunno. He made me mad. He was getting all mad, too.”
“Let me tell you something,” Daniel began, finally letting go of my chin and scooting back a little, turning towards me. “There are going to be a lot of people in this world who make you mad...” I was about to say something again, but he gave me a look that quickly shut me up. Geeze, why did he have to do all the talking! “And there are pricks EVERYWHERE. You will have bosses who are jerkoffs, who tell you to do stuff that you don't want to do, and who insult not only gay people, but women, people with disabilities, African Americans, Latinos, Asians, and I could go on forever. You will have friends who piss you off. People in the grocery store. Doctors. Teachers. Senators. Police officers. In fact, I'm not sure that there could ever be someone who wouldn't make you mad about something. But you know what? You can't just go around hitting them all. If you did, you could kiss that dream of law school goodbye because you'll be paying off settlements and court fines for the rest of your life. And furthermore, you will never be respected. No one wants to listen to someone who goes around getting angry and cursing at and hitting everyone to get their point across. Right?”
Ugh, I hated admitting that someone else was right. So I just chose to avoid the question. “I'm sorry for fighting and being mean to Robert,” I said instead.
He nodded. “Now after saying all of that, I feel like an ass for telling you that you're going to be spanked.”
“Wait... didn't you just say that you can't go around hitting everyone to get your point across?”
“I already got my point across, didn't I? You're going to be spanked because what you did today has to have consequences. And then after your spanking, you will go downstairs and apologize to your brother, do you understand?”
“But Danielllll!” I whined. “You're being hypocritical. Saying that I can't hit someone, but you can hit me.”
“Well, let's put it this way – you thought it'd be a good idea to go around punching everyone who upset you, so now you have to pay the consequences, and you get to see what it's like to be hit when you do something wrong.”
“Still hypocritical...” I said.
“You know that you deserve it,” he said. He stood up, walking towards my desk and pulling my chair out from under it. He pulled me up, then brought me towards him, sitting himself down on the chair. He then unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans.
“Wait! Daniel... please... can't we just talk about this?”
“When you resolve your next argument with talking, then you and I will be able to talk about it. But today you decided to resolve an argument physically, and therefore, you and I will resolve our problem physically. Sounds like a fair deal to me.” He tugged my jeans down to my knees.
“But...” I was cut off because he placed me over his lap. Staring at the carpet made me lose my train of thought and my ability to talk my way out of trouble. It was awful.
He began the spanking, popping me on my panty-clad bottom with a stronger hand than I'd imagined him having. In fact, it was so hard that I couldn't help but squirm and cry out after each one. Which was strange, considering that I've been pelted with softballs and broken bones without shedding a tear. But this was different. Mostly because I knew how upset Daniel and Robert were with me.
“I expect you to act your age, Jessica Lynne,” Daniel scolded. “And not like a three year old. You are a teenager now, and it is time to stop this childish behavior, especially if you want to be treated like an adult, do you understand?”
“Yesssss, owww, Daniel. Please stop!”
“You should be embarrassed at the behavior you displayed today, not only at school but also in the car towards your brother.”
“I ammmm!” I pleaded, reaching back to block him from spanking me.
He spanked around my hand, finally pushing it away, but continuing to rain down the smacks. “And I will absolutely not tolerate the disrespect you've shown. Keep it up and you will make this trip over my knee more often than you like.”
“Okayyyy! I won't be disrespectful. Just please stop!” I begged. “Please. I'll be good.”
Daniel swatted me more and more, hitting every so often on my sit spots and in areas that my panties didn't quite cover up (which made me squeal like a little girl!). And then he did something that I totally didn't expect – he pulled them down! Right to my knees! I was so embarrassed that I thought I was going to die.
“No wait! Daniel! Don't do that!” I pleaded, squirming to get off of his lap.
He held on to me tightly, though, giving me a few more swats. “You know you deserve this, Jessica. You've acted very childish today. Now, stop squirming and accept the consequences for your actions.”
I stopped fighting for a moment. “But I don't want to be spanked, Daniel. And not on the bare! It's too embarrassing!”
“Just like you embarrassed Robert and me today,” he said, repositioning me again and circling my waist with his left arm only to start the spanking again. I bucked and kicked fiercely.
“Oooowwwww!” I howled. “I'm sorry for embarrassing you guys!!!”
He didn't answer me with anything but more smacks, getting a definite rhythm and working his way from cheek to cheek, sit spot to sit spot, making sure that I would feel this for a few days. “Robert and I care about you too much for you to continue to behave so irresponsibly and immaturely. You were very lucky that your vice principal let you off with a couple of detentions and a conference. And you're equally lucky that the kid's parent didn't press charges on you.”
“Oooowwww, yessss, I knowww!” I whined. “Pleaseee Daniel!! Please stoppp!! I understand!!!”
Still, my pleas were to no avail. He kept up the punishment, causing my bottom to feel like it was on fire. I kicked and squirmed as much as my little body could, even reached back a couple of times only to have my hands restrained.
I was almost broken when he stopped. He lifted me up. “Nose in the corner,” he instructed, practically dragging me there. He returned moments later and helped me back over his lap. I hadn't seen what he'd brought back with him, only felt the damn wooden hairbrush crack against my backside seconds later. As if his hand didn't hurt enough. By the third swat, I was bawling like a baby. I was blubbering apologies and kicking and howling. I'd take a punch to the stomach any day!
When he'd given me what felt like a million swats (when in reality it was probably twenty-ish), he lifted me up. He stood me in front of him as I wiped my eyes, body shaking and breathing unsteady. He looked into my teary eyes.
“Jessica Lynne, are we going to have to have this conversation again?” he asked me seriously.
“N-no, Daniel. We won't,” I promised him.
He softened up, then brought me in for a hug. “Love you, kiddo.”
“Love you, too,” I sniffled.
He held me for a few seconds, then released. “Get yourself re-dressed and go apologize. Then get started on your homework, okay?”
I nodded, pulling up my panties, wincing as they touched my tender backside. My jeans were the most difficult to pull up – I certainly didn't want any tight material on my bottom right now!! But the alternative would be going downstairs with my glowing bottom on display, and that was totally not happening!
I held Daniel's hand as I wobbled down the stairs. Katelyn was sitting at the table, finishing her math homework, and Robert was planted in front of the television, watching the news.
“Robert,” I said weakly, releasing the grip I'd had on Daniel's hand. “I'm sorry for being mean to you today and for getting an attitude. And I'm sorry for fighting, too.”
He held out his arms, inviting me in for a hug. I pushed myself forward, falling into his arms. “I love you, kid sis,” he said, then gave me pretty much the same lecture I'd just gotten from my other brother. Geeze, they were too much alike. But I didn't say anything, just promised him that I'd behave.
The F-Word
by Breanna Carter
“Landon is a fag-got!!!” Patrick chanted in the lunch room, milk carton in hand, doubling over with laughter. “I bet even your mom takes it up the ass!”
Now I'm not Landon, nor is Landon a friend of mine, but when someone says the f-word, it pisses me off. So I shushed my friend, Camilla. “Just a sec,” I said, marching up to Patrick. “Hey! Don't call him that!”
Patrick seemed taken aback that I, an unpopular kid and a measly seventh grader, would try to challenge him. “Oh yeah? And why not?”
“Because there's nothing wrong with being gay. And I don't like the way you're talking to him.”
Patrick and his friends chuckled, looking at each other, then back at me. “There's nothing wrong with being gay, huh? Is that 'cause you're a dyke?”
My eyes narrowed. I knew these kinds of people – they were the jocks. Football players who got some kind of pleasure out of insulting anyone who didn't live up to their standards. Guys who thought everyone had to be a carbon copy of them and their sleezy girlfriends. These were the types of people who used to taunt my older brothers, shoving them into lockers, making them feel inadequate and scared. These were the types of people who would throw their own children out on the street if they found out they were attracted to someone of the same sex.
“Is it because you're scared that you may be gay? Is that why you're always in the gym, beefing yourself up, trying to make yourself look more masculine? Is that why you make fun of people who are less steroid-looking? So others won't realize that you're really homosexual?” I shook my head. “That's sad. You should just embrace your inner gay-ness.”
He got mad now, inching towards me. “Who the hell do you think you're talking to?” he asked. He was trying to intimidate me, but it wasn't working. Even if he did stand three inches taller than me, and weighed about thirty pounds more, I didn't care. Being a softball player had given me all the muscle and endurance I needed to take on a big guy like him... and the anger that boiled inside of me would make up for what muscle lacked.
“I think I'm talking to some prick-headed fourteen year old dumbass football player who likes to pick on kids who aren't like him. Give it a rest and get over yourself.”
“Jess...” I heard Camilla plead, but I waved her off.
“So I suggest you apologize to our friend Landon over here and stop using derogatory language against non-heterosexuals.”
Patrick and the jocks thought this was the most hilarious thing they had ever heard. I thought the dummy on the right was going to keel over from laughing so hard. “Or else what?” Patrick spat, still in my face.
I smirked slightly. He had no idea who he was messing with. In a flash, I made a fist and wound up, punching him in the bridge of his nose. Nobody had expected it. And they certainly didn't expect it when I kneed him in the balls. So now not only was he holding his bleeding face, but he was also bent over, clutching his nut sac. Victory.
“Any of the rest of you douchebags wanna mess with me?” I asked, glaring at the guys surrounding.
Patrick was trying to say something to me, but couldn't get the words out.
“Glad I got my point across,” I said to him as the security guard escorted me away.
That's how I ended up in the vice principal, Mr. Shevins', office. I sat with my backpack next to me, holding a pen between my fingers, tapping it on the palm of my other hand. I wasn't exactly nervous – I'd done this for a good cause and Mr. Shevins and I had become acquainted a lot in my two years at Lincoln Middle School – I was just fidgety. I blame it on ADD.
“Jessica Parker,” the man said, straightening his tie and folding his hands on his desk in front of him. “Long time no see. How are you?”
“I'm great, Mr. Shevins. How are you? How's the wife and new baby?”
“They're great, thanks for asking,” he paused, smiling. “How is it living with your brother? And how are you holding out since the death of your parents?”
I shrugged. “It's okay, I guess.”
He nodded.
I looked down at the pen, now twirling it. “It's hard, ya know? Robert and I never really got along that great. I mean, I love him and all, but it's hard living with him. Really hard.”
Mr. Shevins knew my whole life story. After my parents died I saw him on almost a weekly basis for one reason or another, you know, for fighting or attitude with teachers, and he had really become the only person I could open up to. I preferred talking to him even over the counselor my brother and his husband were paying hundreds of dollars a month for me to see.
“Are you trying to talk to him a little more? Using calm words instead of yelling or fighting?”
“I'm trying,” I lied. “But whatever. It's all good.”
He nodded, knowing that I was lying. “Okay, I get it. So what happened today?” he asked, putting on his glasses and glancing down at the paper in front of him.
“I decked this kid in the nose, but he deserved it.”
He peered at me over his glasses. “Jessica...”
“I know, I need to try to resolve conflict with words instead of fists. But he provoked me. He was practically begging me to beat him up.”
Mr. Shevins sighed and finished reading the referral slip, then dropped the paper back on his desk. He took his glasses back off, staring at me hard. “What are we going to do with you?” he asked exasperatedly.
“I really think that Patrick is the problem and not me... So if you want an honest answer I think...”
“Patrick didn't even hit you...”
“... that someone should have a good-talking to with him. He called this boy the f-word! And he totally shouldn't do that. And I think that I should be let off with a warning.”
“The f-word?”
I nodded, but he just looked at me like he was confused. “You know,” I said. “F-a-g...?”
“Oh. Right.” He shook his head again, rolling his chair back and digging my file out of his filing cabinet. “Jessica, you do realize that this is the third time you've been sent to me for fighting this month?”
“I know, but I'm trying to do better. I really am... It's just with my parents...”
He held up his hand to silence me. “I know that it's been a difficult time for you, which is why I haven't done anything the last...” he paused, flipping through some pages and undoubtably counting to himself “... eight times you've gotten in a fight. Not to mention the other referrals I have here...”
I didn't like the sound of this. “Please just give me one more chance?” I pleaded.
He sighed. “I think it's time we have a conference with Robert.”
“What? No... Mr. Shevins... please. Patrick provoked me. And...”
“I know the excuses, Jess. And I know they're valid. But you've also been getting away with way too much.” He paused. “You do realize that, right?”
I began chewing on my lower lip, glancing at the clock, then the bookshelf, trying not to cry. I had always been able to talk my way out of trouble. Why was it not working this time? Did Mr. Shevins honestly think that I'd gotten that out of control?
“I have a soft spot for you, kid. You've been through a lot, especially since the beginning of this school year. But I'm afraid that if I keep letting you talk your way out of trouble, you're going to end up in a big mess.”
“Are...” I began, pausing to swallow the lump in my throat that was now forming. “Are you going to tell Robert about... everything?”
“I will not tell him the details. I will tell him about the fight today, and how you've already received a warning for fighting.”
I didn't say anything.
“And you will have a Saturday detention.”
I slumped down in my chair, leaning my head back and letting a tear fall down my cheek. “What about Patrick?” I asked in a near whisper.
He chuckled. “I think you took care of that.”
I glanced up at my vice principal, wiping the tear. Big girls don't cry. And I would not be caught dead crying anywhere other than this office. “That's not fair,” I said.
“I'm not entirely sure that it's fair you've already gotten away with eight fights previous to this one, but we will pretend like it is. You know that Patrick's family is quite economically sound, right?” I nodded. “So let's say for a second that I let you get away with this little fight. His parents would probably be infuriated and seek legal action against not only the school, but against you as well. And if that happens, your brother will find out anyway, and the outcome will be much worse than a Saturday detention. Because what you did could probably be considered assault.”
“Point taken,” I said. “But for the record, all eight of those 'fights' weren't really fights. You can't count shoving someone or arguing as an actual fight.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Point taken.”
I smiled. “Fine. I guess go ahead and call Robert. Just be ready for the explosion. But let me tell you one thing, if I ever hear Patrick calling anyone the f-word again, I will...”
He held up a hand to stop me again, just like he was a crossing guard or something. “I don't want to hear it! You will always be you, Jess, and I can imagine what you will do. But the second it comes out of your mouth it becomes a threat and unless you want me filing a report saying that you're threatening to harm someone, I suggest you keep it to yourself.”
“What? I was going to say that I will... hug... him.” I tried not to giggle at that statement.
“Is Robert at work?”
“That's a pretty dumb question. Of course he's at work. He works everyday.”
“Girl, you have a mouth on you that you're going to use on the wrong person one day.”
I glanced at the clock. “He might be on his lunch break though. I'd try calling his cell phone first, and if he doesn't answer that then call his office.”
Mr. Shevins picked up his phone and punched some numbers on the keypad, hanging up shortly after. “Guess he's finished with lunch.” He put the receiver to his ear again and dialed a new number, what I was assuming to be the number to his office. From my seat I could hear the receptionist's cacophonous (hah! See? I did listen during my vocabulary lessons!) voice telling the caller that he had reached Dr. Richardson/Cruz/Parker/Benedetto's office and to please hold. I loved when they did that.
“She's a bitch,” I mouthed to my vice principal who turned away to pretend like he didn't just hear me say a bad word.
It took her seventy seconds to get back on the phone (yes, I was counting). He explained that he was calling for Robert Parker on behalf of Lincoln Middle School in reference to Dr. Parker's little sister, Jessica. Yes, he would hold for just a minute.
I pulled my feet into the chair, knees up to my chest. I clicked my pen on and off now, probably something that would irritate anyone in the room with me except for Mr. Shevins. He was used to my ADD-ness.
I shivered slightly when I heard the male voice answer the phone. There was no getting out of this now.
“Hi, Mr. Parker, how are you?” He paused to wait for my brother's answer, which I could only hear as a muffled voice. “Doing well, thank you. I was calling to see if you can come in today for a conference about Jessica's behavior.” He paused again and I looked up at him, tears in my eyes again. “Yes, everything is fine. We are just having some issues that I would like to discuss with you.” Another pause. “No, don't do that, we can meet after three thirty. Why don't you come about four? Jessica can go ahead and get an after school detention out of the way if you do that.” He looked at me and smiled. After school detention? Really? Why was he smiling at me? Was this supposed to be a good thing? “Great. See you then, Mr. Parker. Buh-bye.” He clicked the phone down.
I perked up, putting my feet back down on the ground, still clicking my pen. “Well?”
“Your brother has appointments until three-thirty and he will be here about four. I decided to give you two after school detentions instead of a Saturday detention. I assumed you'd prefer that since you'll have to stay here after school anyway... Unless you want to come up here on a Saturday...”
“No no... after school is fine.”
He wrote down a couple of notes on the referral sheet, then stuffed it in my file with the other papers.
“Will I ever get to look at my file and see what you all say about me?”
“Go to class, Jessica.” He signed a pass and held it out to me. “And don't get into any more fights, okay?”
“You didn't answer my question,” I huffed, but stood up and snatched the pass from him.
“Goodbye.”
“Bye Mr. Shevins. And thanks for not being too hard on me.”
“Yeah, well, don't push your luck. My nice-ness is starting to fade away.”
“I noticed,” I answered as I approached the doorway. I waved goodbye and stalked out, throwing my backpack over my shoulder. It hadn't been an ideal meeting with my vice principal, but I guess it could've always been worse. I uber wasn't looking forward to what Robert was going to have to say, though. Or do, for that matter.
The rest of my day was quite uneventful. Camilla found me between classes and almost made us both late because she wanted to know the details of my chat with Mr. Shevins. She was sort of surprised that I got off so easily. Oh, then I had my last class with my twin sister, Katelyn, who had gotten word of what I'd done at lunch (shit spreads too quickly through my school, I swear) and was freaking out because she just knew I'd get suspended. I told her to chill out. Mr. Shevins and I were cool with each other. There was no way he'd suspend me. She then wanted to know what he'd said/done so I told her. Then she freaked out some more saying that Robert was going to kill me. Whatever. I'm not scared of him. Much.
Detention came all too quickly, and I swear, that was probably the worst hour ever. Aside from the fact that I was bored out of my mind, I was anxious as hell. I was ready to get this conference with my older brother over with, yet wanted to prolong it as long as possible. But the anticipation was eating me alive. I wondered what Robert would say and do. I wondered what all Mr. Shevins would even tell him. And mostly, I wondered if what Katelyn said was true – that I would probably get spanked. I had so far avoided that punishment (don't ask me how), but according to my sis, this would probably do it. I was definitely worried about that.
The detention teacher dismissed us five minutes before four. I wondered where Robert was and if he'd stopped by the house before coming to the school. And if Daniel was going to come with him. And if Katelyn was going to be there. And if he was going to yell at me when he saw me. I wasn't too into the idea of a shouting match in the middle of the hallway at school. Well, at least most of the student body had already left. The only people around were the members of the dance team who were tumbling around outside and the dance committee members who were painting signs about the spring bash.
I shuffled slowly to the office, running my fingers against the wall on the way. I stopped about halfway there to read the announcements on the bulletin board. Nothing interesting there. Most of them were old flyers from student council elections or club meetings. I continued on my way arriving at the office much sooner than I'd have liked... which wasn't hard, seeing as I would have liked to never arrive there.
No one was really around, so I tapped on Mr. Shevins' door.
“Come in,” he said, so I pushed the door open.
“Hey. Robert's still not here?”
Mr. S looked up at his clock. “Nope. He's still got a couple of minutes. Take a seat.”
I plopped down watching him finish some paperwork. “Whatcha doin'?”
“Just finishing some work.” Vague enough. “How was your afternoon?”
“Better than my morning.”
“That's good to hear. No more fights then, I assume?”
“Nope.”
He was about to say something else, but was distracted by two figures barging through the office door. I looked back to see Robert and Daniel, neither looking too thrilled about being at my school.
Mr. Shevins stood, smoothing out his tie and walking towards the two men. He introduced himself and snagged a chair from the waiting area, ushering my brothers to his office. He placed the chair between the one I was sitting in and the other and asked them to please sit. I was not ready for this at all. My throat was dry now and my palms sweaty, shaking slightly. I had to be tough, though. I had to let them know that I hadn't done anything wrong. That I was just defending this kid. Surely they would understand. Right?
The conference started out with small talk and uncomfortable laughs between Robert and Mr. Shevins, with Daniel looking in my direction, a not-so-happy expression on his face. Then they got down to the nitty gritty.
“Jessica was in a fight today.”
There. He said it. I sort of winced at the words, and kept my gaze averted towards the cobweb in the corner of his office.
“It's not the first time this has happened – she received a warning in the past.”
I felt three pairs of eyes staring at me.
“Jessica, do you want to tell them what happened?”
No, I really did not. But I think it was more of a request than a question, and I didn't want to make this situation any worse. Besides, this was my chance to use my gift for words.
I looked up at Mr. Shevins, glancing over at my brothers, then back to Mr. Shevins. I could look in his eyes as I told my story, explaining what was going through my head and why I'd decided to beat the crap out of an eighth grader twice my size. I told every detail, probably exaggerating some parts for my own benefit. Then I went back to staring at my cobweb, letting Mr. S go on with what he had to say. It was actually nothing really that interesting. He just let them know what my punishment was and that he was worried that I was veering off to the wrong path and he didn't want to see that happen to me since I was mostly a good kid. He also told them that he knew my circumstances and had let me off fairly lightly, but would likely not continue to do so in the future if this happens again. Robert assured him that I would be dealt with adequately at home. I said nothing.
The meeting was over at 4:22. The hallways were empty of the dance committee and our steps echoed as we trudged towards the car. “What's for dinner?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation on lighter topics and not the fact that we'd just had a conference about my behavior.
Neither of my brothers answered me, just continued walking ahead.
“Did you guys have a good day?” I asked after a few seconds of silence. I couldn't deal with the silent treatment. Quiet drove me crazy.
“Was okay until I got a phone call from Mr. Shevins,” Robert said.
And then silence again.
I busied myself with running my fingers against the wall until we got outside. Then I concentrated on trying not to step on the cracks in the sidewalk. It was what I had to do to keep from being worried about being in trouble.
When we got in the car, Robert blew up. “What were you thinking, Jessica Lynne?”
“I already told you what I was thinking. The douchebag called someone...”
“A faggot, yeah, I know...”
“Don't say it out loud!”
“... but why do you think that gives you the right to pound on him like that?”
“I get my temper from you,” I sneered, folding my arms and staring out the window.
Robert looked at Daniel who shrugged.
“The guy deserved it. He was a prick and needed to be put in his place.” No one could disagree with that statement.
“Why didn't you just tell a teacher?”
“Tell a teacher? Hah!” I laughed. “The teachers don't care. They probably call people the f-word in their sleep.”
He sighed. “What bothers me the most is that you resorted to violence in a situation where it wasn't warranted. Oh, and that this isn't the first time that you've fought at school. How come I didn't know about previous altercations?”
“Ugh! Who cares about what happened in the past? It's done and over with. And who cares that I punched him? He deserved it. He was a douche. End of story.”
“Do not use that tone with me, Young Lady.”
“Then don't use YOUR tone with me! This is stupid and unfair! I don't deserve to get in trouble for this. I was just standing up for what I believe in!” I was pretty livid by this time, and on the verge of punching something else.
I think that Robert was about to go into cardiac arrest at my outburst. “Are you really talking to me like that, Jessica?”
“Yeah.”
Daniel spoke softly to Robert now, probably telling him to calm down, then turned around. “You need to cool it with the attitude, girl.”
“Tell him to cool it with the attitude! He's getting all up in my business for nothing!”
“For nothing?” Robert said, glancing at me in the rearview mirror. “You got in a fight at school! Do you even realize how serious this is? You could've gotten suspended! The only reason you didn't is because Mr. Shevins feels sorry for you!”
“Whatever,” I said, and pulled my ipod out of my backpack, plugging my ears with more poetic screaming (with some whining added in). I turned the volume up loud enough to where I couldn't hear Robert's rant, putting the hood on my jacket up so that he couldn't see that I wasn't listening to him. He's not an idiot, though, and within seconds Daniel was turned around tugging my earphones out.
“You do NOT ignore me when I'm talking to you!”
“Shut UP!” I shouted back. “You're not my fucking dad! You're just my brother, you're just Robert, okay? So leave me alone and stop trying to be my dad, 'cause you're not him!!!” I almost started crying but instead punched the door and swallowed the lump, breathing in.
Robert gave up on talking for the rest of the ride. Not that it mattered. I wasn't going to listen to him anyway. Oh, and the rest of the ride only lasted about two minutes.
We pulled into the driveway and I instantly opened my door, then slammed it behind me, storming into the house. I stomped up the stairs.
“Jessica Lynne Parker! Get down here!” Robert yelled.
“NO!” I yelled back.
I made it to my room and slammed the door shut, rattling the walls a little. Katelyn was lying on her bed with her math book open and glanced up upon my arrival.
“Bad conference?”
“I don't wanna talk about it,” I muttered, slumping down to the floor and sitting against the door. I felt rotten inside, not only because I was pissed off, but also because I knew I was in deep trouble. I shouldn't have talked to my brother like that, and I knew it, but I just couldn't help it. I hated him so much sometimes.
Katelyn shrugged and went back to doing her homework. I knew the curiosity had to be eating her alive. I was about to give her the gruesome details, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Go away,” I said.
He didn't listen to me, but tried to open the door, only to find that I was leaning against it.
“Jessica, it's me. Stop acting immature and let me in,” Daniel said.
I rolled my eyes and stood up, opening the door. “What do you want?”
“We need to talk.” He barged in without my permission, not allowing me the chance to protest. Instead, he glanced at my sister. “Can you give us a few minutes, Kate, please?”
Katelyn nodded and closed her book, tucking it under her arm and stalking away silently.
I opened my mouth to say something again, but Daniel beat me to it. “I don't know where you get this idea that you can speak to your brother like that, but I will assure you right now that it is going to stop, Young Lady, do you understand me?”
“But...”
“I didn't ask for an explanation. I asked if you understood me. That is a yes or no question.”
I folded my arms.
“I am speaking to you respectfully and like an adult, and I expect you to do the same with me.”
I didn't say anything.
“Sit down. Let's talk.”
He didn't give me much of a choice, but instead grabbed my wrist and walked with me to my bed, sitting me down and easing himself down next to me.
“I am very disappointed in you, Jessica,” he said calmly, moving my chin so that I was looking into his eyes instead of the carpet. “I cannot believe that you would act the way you just did. I expected more out of you.” Ouch. “It was almost like there was a different person in the car with me a few minutes ago. Aren't you embarrassed at the immaturity that you just displayed?”
I shrugged. “I was mad. Robert was being mean.”
“That's where you're wrong, Young Lady. Robert wasn't being mean. He was trying to understand what happened today.”
“He was yelling at me.”
“He was not yelling...”
“Yes he was!” I said, a little too loudly.
Daniel paused a second. “Are you getting sharp with me?”
Oops. “Sorry.”
“Your brother cares deeply for you, Jessica. He took you in when you had no one. He is trying to do the right thing here. For one, you have to give him a break – he doesn't know how to raise a teenage girl. And I assure you that he is doing his damnedest to do the best job he can. And secondly, you need to look at the situation from his point of view. He received a call this afternoon from his little sister's school talking about a conference. He gets there to find out that she's been in a fight, and while she had been provoked – I'll give you that – it had clearly not been out of self-defense... don't talk, just listen,” he ordered when he saw me open my mouth. “The fight was clearly not out of self-defense as she had not been pushed, hit, slapped, or punched. And to top it off, she has been in fights before this one, so this fighting thing seems to be a reoccurring pattern. When he asks her what she was thinking, she not only gets defensive, but also starts yelling and getting very disrespectful with him. Come on, Jess, I know that you can see it from his point of view.”
“Well, I don't.”
“Don't you want to be an attorney? You know you have to be able to look at both points of view if you're going to do that type of work.”
I folded my arms and poked out my lower lip in a pout. He was right, though. I took a second to think about how Robert had felt about the whole situation, and kind of understood. Kind of.
“I still don't think I should be in trouble,” I said.
“Okay. Now, why couldn't you have spoken that calmly to Robert earlier?”
“I dunno. He made me mad. He was getting all mad, too.”
“Let me tell you something,” Daniel began, finally letting go of my chin and scooting back a little, turning towards me. “There are going to be a lot of people in this world who make you mad...” I was about to say something again, but he gave me a look that quickly shut me up. Geeze, why did he have to do all the talking! “And there are pricks EVERYWHERE. You will have bosses who are jerkoffs, who tell you to do stuff that you don't want to do, and who insult not only gay people, but women, people with disabilities, African Americans, Latinos, Asians, and I could go on forever. You will have friends who piss you off. People in the grocery store. Doctors. Teachers. Senators. Police officers. In fact, I'm not sure that there could ever be someone who wouldn't make you mad about something. But you know what? You can't just go around hitting them all. If you did, you could kiss that dream of law school goodbye because you'll be paying off settlements and court fines for the rest of your life. And furthermore, you will never be respected. No one wants to listen to someone who goes around getting angry and cursing at and hitting everyone to get their point across. Right?”
Ugh, I hated admitting that someone else was right. So I just chose to avoid the question. “I'm sorry for fighting and being mean to Robert,” I said instead.
He nodded. “Now after saying all of that, I feel like an ass for telling you that you're going to be spanked.”
“Wait... didn't you just say that you can't go around hitting everyone to get your point across?”
“I already got my point across, didn't I? You're going to be spanked because what you did today has to have consequences. And then after your spanking, you will go downstairs and apologize to your brother, do you understand?”
“But Danielllll!” I whined. “You're being hypocritical. Saying that I can't hit someone, but you can hit me.”
“Well, let's put it this way – you thought it'd be a good idea to go around punching everyone who upset you, so now you have to pay the consequences, and you get to see what it's like to be hit when you do something wrong.”
“Still hypocritical...” I said.
“You know that you deserve it,” he said. He stood up, walking towards my desk and pulling my chair out from under it. He pulled me up, then brought me towards him, sitting himself down on the chair. He then unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans.
“Wait! Daniel... please... can't we just talk about this?”
“When you resolve your next argument with talking, then you and I will be able to talk about it. But today you decided to resolve an argument physically, and therefore, you and I will resolve our problem physically. Sounds like a fair deal to me.” He tugged my jeans down to my knees.
“But...” I was cut off because he placed me over his lap. Staring at the carpet made me lose my train of thought and my ability to talk my way out of trouble. It was awful.
He began the spanking, popping me on my panty-clad bottom with a stronger hand than I'd imagined him having. In fact, it was so hard that I couldn't help but squirm and cry out after each one. Which was strange, considering that I've been pelted with softballs and broken bones without shedding a tear. But this was different. Mostly because I knew how upset Daniel and Robert were with me.
“I expect you to act your age, Jessica Lynne,” Daniel scolded. “And not like a three year old. You are a teenager now, and it is time to stop this childish behavior, especially if you want to be treated like an adult, do you understand?”
“Yesssss, owww, Daniel. Please stop!”
“You should be embarrassed at the behavior you displayed today, not only at school but also in the car towards your brother.”
“I ammmm!” I pleaded, reaching back to block him from spanking me.
He spanked around my hand, finally pushing it away, but continuing to rain down the smacks. “And I will absolutely not tolerate the disrespect you've shown. Keep it up and you will make this trip over my knee more often than you like.”
“Okayyyy! I won't be disrespectful. Just please stop!” I begged. “Please. I'll be good.”
Daniel swatted me more and more, hitting every so often on my sit spots and in areas that my panties didn't quite cover up (which made me squeal like a little girl!). And then he did something that I totally didn't expect – he pulled them down! Right to my knees! I was so embarrassed that I thought I was going to die.
“No wait! Daniel! Don't do that!” I pleaded, squirming to get off of his lap.
He held on to me tightly, though, giving me a few more swats. “You know you deserve this, Jessica. You've acted very childish today. Now, stop squirming and accept the consequences for your actions.”
I stopped fighting for a moment. “But I don't want to be spanked, Daniel. And not on the bare! It's too embarrassing!”
“Just like you embarrassed Robert and me today,” he said, repositioning me again and circling my waist with his left arm only to start the spanking again. I bucked and kicked fiercely.
“Oooowwwww!” I howled. “I'm sorry for embarrassing you guys!!!”
He didn't answer me with anything but more smacks, getting a definite rhythm and working his way from cheek to cheek, sit spot to sit spot, making sure that I would feel this for a few days. “Robert and I care about you too much for you to continue to behave so irresponsibly and immaturely. You were very lucky that your vice principal let you off with a couple of detentions and a conference. And you're equally lucky that the kid's parent didn't press charges on you.”
“Oooowwww, yessss, I knowww!” I whined. “Pleaseee Daniel!! Please stoppp!! I understand!!!”
Still, my pleas were to no avail. He kept up the punishment, causing my bottom to feel like it was on fire. I kicked and squirmed as much as my little body could, even reached back a couple of times only to have my hands restrained.
I was almost broken when he stopped. He lifted me up. “Nose in the corner,” he instructed, practically dragging me there. He returned moments later and helped me back over his lap. I hadn't seen what he'd brought back with him, only felt the damn wooden hairbrush crack against my backside seconds later. As if his hand didn't hurt enough. By the third swat, I was bawling like a baby. I was blubbering apologies and kicking and howling. I'd take a punch to the stomach any day!
When he'd given me what felt like a million swats (when in reality it was probably twenty-ish), he lifted me up. He stood me in front of him as I wiped my eyes, body shaking and breathing unsteady. He looked into my teary eyes.
“Jessica Lynne, are we going to have to have this conversation again?” he asked me seriously.
“N-no, Daniel. We won't,” I promised him.
He softened up, then brought me in for a hug. “Love you, kiddo.”
“Love you, too,” I sniffled.
He held me for a few seconds, then released. “Get yourself re-dressed and go apologize. Then get started on your homework, okay?”
I nodded, pulling up my panties, wincing as they touched my tender backside. My jeans were the most difficult to pull up – I certainly didn't want any tight material on my bottom right now!! But the alternative would be going downstairs with my glowing bottom on display, and that was totally not happening!
I held Daniel's hand as I wobbled down the stairs. Katelyn was sitting at the table, finishing her math homework, and Robert was planted in front of the television, watching the news.
“Robert,” I said weakly, releasing the grip I'd had on Daniel's hand. “I'm sorry for being mean to you today and for getting an attitude. And I'm sorry for fighting, too.”
He held out his arms, inviting me in for a hug. I pushed myself forward, falling into his arms. “I love you, kid sis,” he said, then gave me pretty much the same lecture I'd just gotten from my other brother. Geeze, they were too much alike. But I didn't say anything, just promised him that I'd behave.
Story: Run Away Smartass
First story in the Jessica/Katelyn Series, written by Mackenzie through Katelyn's point of view. Katelyn introduces herself and gives a little background. Then she runs away from her older brother, Robert, who immediately lets her know that endangering her own safety will result in a spanking.
Run Away Smartass
by Mackenzie
When I was 13 years old, the worst thing that could have ever possibly happened to me did… my parents died. That’s right, 13 years old and parents are dead. Now my sister and I are left alone to fend for ourselves, right? Well, not exactly. They sent both of us to live with our older brother, Robert, age 26, married to a man by the name of Daniel, age 27.
Yes, our brother is gay. Is that such a surprise?
It was to my parents. They couldn’t get over it for years. In fact, as I recall, Robert was kicked out of the house for a couple of years when he was 22 and just starting out in medical school. He had to stay at a friend’s whenever he came home. Then, Daniel came into his life and my parents met him. All of a sudden, they let Robert back into their lives. It was like he had never been kicked out in the first place. I really think Daniel made all the difference in the world with regards to that entire situation. Because of Daniel, I finally got a chance to see my brother again without being yelled at mercilessly every time I did go to see him.
And that was the greatest gift I could have ever been given.
Anyone who talks to me knows I’m super close to my brother. For Jessica, it wasn’t the same. She fought with Robert all the time. It was like whenever something went wrong they were at each other’s throats. She must have cried a million times at the mean things he said to her when we were younger. Even after he grew up and stopped saying those things, I don’t think she ever forgave him. By that point, they still had a rocky relationship. It was like stepping on eggshells between the two of them. I’m pretty sure that the moment she stepped into that house after our parents had died, she was more resentful than she had ever been.
But then again, maybe I’m just reading too much into the situation.
The point is, when my sister and I were 13, our parents died and we were sent off to live with our older brother, as he was our closest living relative. It’s as simple as that; no more, no less.
Except that it wasn’t as simple as that.
Because it turns out that Robert and Daniel were both incredibly strict as parents/guardians, as the first time I messed up I got in trouble for it big time. And no, I did not just get a talking to. I thought at the time that they’d ground me because I was too old for anything else. But I guess I was wrong.
I think it was about 2 months after Jessica and I had come to live with him, when I ran away from home for the first time. I had gotten into a fight with Robert, which wasn’t something that happened all that often. In fact, it happened usually once in a blue moon. That’s about how rare it was. I screamed at him a lot about something I barely remember. It was probably something like…
Oh wait, now I remember what it was.
I had wanted to spend a night at a friend’s house but Robert didn’t want me to because there would be no adult at my friend’s house overnight into the following morning. Of course at the time, I thought he was being unreasonable so I yelled and screamed at him; even though he was being incredibly reasonable.
“Robert!” I yelled, “You don’t get it! I really want to spend the night at Melissa’s house!”
“Well, Katelyn, I’m sorry… but you can’t.” he replied.
“Why not?”
“I already talked to Melissa’s mom and she told me there would be no one there overnight and into in the morning. I don’t want you being at that house alone at nighttime and in the morning. It’s not safe.”
“That’s fucking ridiculous!” I shouted at him. “You can’t tell me I can’t go!”
“Watch your mouth, young lady,” he said, pointing his finger. “And I can tell you not to go. I’m your legal guardian. I have every right to tell you what you can and cannot do.”
“Whatever…” I muttered. “I’ll go anyway.”
“No, you will not, Katelyn Rose Parker.”
“Watch me.” I replied as I bolted out the door and just started running down the street; running even as he shouted after me to come back, even as he began running after me. I wouldn’t stop and I didn’t… he grabbed me before I could stop of my own free will.
He turned me around and looked me dead in the eye. “You are in deep trouble, young lady.”
And then he hauled me back home. I followed compliantly, afraid of what would happen if I didn’t. I guess that this was a good thing, because I probably would have gotten it way worse if I hadn’t been compliant.
He pulled me through the front door and slammed it shut, stilling holding tightly to my arm. “Katelyn Rose, do you have anything to say for yourself?”
I looked up at him timidly, not wanting to say anything for fear of incurring his wrath.
“Well, Katelyn, what do you have to say for yourself?”
I said nothing.
“That’s what I thought,” he said. “Follow me.”
He grabbed my hand and took me upstairs to my and Jessica’s bedroom. Jessica wasn’t there. At the time I think she was at softball practice and Daniel, well, Daniel was gone running errands. So it was just me and Robert at home at that time.
The moment we got through the doorway, he slammed the door shut and practically carried to my bed then threw me down on it. “Do you have any idea how stupid what you just did is?”
I looked at him fearfully, “No…” I whispered.
“Well, it was very stupid, Katelyn,” he sighed and sat down next to me. “You can’t run off like that. If you had gotten away from me and kept running you could have gotten hurt very badly. It’s dangerous to be roaming around by yourself at your age and anything could have happened if I hadn’t run after you and caught you.”
I nodded, even though I thought everything he said was bullshit. I didn’t want to be in any more trouble than I already was, so I just swallowed my tongue and shut my mouth.
“I’m going to have to punish you for trying to run off like that,” he said.
“No you don’t…” I whispered.
“Oh yeah, Katelyn, believe me, I do. I wouldn’t be a good brother if I just let you get away with it.”
“Yes you would, Robert.”
“Nice try, Katelyn,” he said. “But I’m still going to have to punish you,” he paused. “I’m going to give you a spanking.”
“A what!?” I asked, practically shouting because I was so shocked.
“You heard me, a spanking.”
“No, no, no… Robert, you can’t!”
“Yes, I can and I am,” he replied. “And don’t even think about fighting back because the last time you did that is what got you into this mess in the first place.”
I whimpered and he stared me down for a moment before telling me, “Pull down your pants, Katelyn Rose.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes, you have to.”
I whimpered again but complied for fear of getting into worse trouble and pulled down my pants. As soon as I did so he pulled me over his lap and pulled down my panties. Then he started smacking me immediately, without scolding me even a little bit.
You may have thought that I wouldn’t have struggled, but trust me, I tried very hard to get up. I screamed and squirmed and flailed.
“Katelyn Rose, you stay still this moment or I swear I will use more than just my hand.”
“Let me the fuck go, Robert!” I didn’t even care about being compliant anymore. I just struggled as much as I possibly could, until I got up and ran away from him, pulling up my panties and throwing the door open then running down the hallway. In that exact moment, Daniel came through the doorway, keys in hand.
“Katelyn,” he began in an inquiring tone. “What is going on up there?”
I didn’t answer him, I just ran down the stairs and behind his back as Robert followed me, nostrils flaring, “Daniel, don’t let him spank me.”
“Why would he be spanking you, Katelyn?” he asked.
“Because she tried to run away,” Robert replied angrily as he came towards us. “Luckily I caught her before she got too far.” He glared at me.
Daniel stared down at me and I looked back up at him fearfully. “Is this true, Katelyn?” he asked.
Now, I looked down, feeling very guilty. I didn’t say anything.
“Uh huh,” he said. “I thought so. Come on Katelyn,” he said. “Let’s go back upstairs.”
“No, Daniel…” I whined. “You can’t let him spank me.”
“I think it’s a little too late for that, young lady.” What the hell was it with the two of them calling me that today? What, had Daniel suddenly taken it upon himself to be a secondary parent? Oh wait, I guess he was since he had custody over me too. Ha… haha…
Yay for fake laughter.
“Come on, follow me.” Daniel told me.
I followed almost unwillingly, but knew that if Daniel was backing Robert up, I probably shouldn’t fight. So I just let him lead me up the stairs and back into my and Jessica’s bedroom. He sat me down on my bed and Robert came in behind him, arms crossed, nostrils flaring, eyebrows arched down with a glare in his eyes. He definitely wasn’t happy.
“Robert, what exactly happened?” he asked him.
“Well…” he started. “She wanted to spend the night at a friend’s house and I told her no because there wasn’t going to be an adult there during the night into the next morning. Then she proceeded to tell me that she was going to go anyway. I told her no and she said watch me then ran out of the door and down the street. Of course, I caught her, luckily. If I hadn’t she’d probably have gotten hurt.” I harrumphed to that because I wondered what he thought spanking was. That certainly did hurt… a LOT. “So I told her she was going to get a spanking for doing that and she proceeded to fight me during the spanking and then run away from me in the middle of it.”
“Well, Katelyn, you’ve certainly made a grand entrance to today.” Daniel said. I looked down at my feet. “I think that Robert’s justified in spanking you. You deserve it for doing that. What you did could have turned into something dangerous.”
“I’m sorry.” I said.
“Not as sorry as you’re going to be.” Robert replied in regards to that statement.
“You need to let Robert finish doing his job. He’s your guardian and has every right to punish you.”
I whimpered a little bit at that.
“You deserve it, Katelyn,” he said, then to Robert. “I’ll leave so you can finish your business here.”
“Thanks, Dan,” he said as Daniel walked out the door and shut it behind him.
Robert sat down on the bed next to me and said, “Come on, sis, over my lap.” I whined but decided to comply this time, as I didn’t want to get more than I was probably already getting. Also, I probably wouldn’t make such a great escape if I tried to fight back again.
He pulled my panties down again and put his hand on my bottom, resting it there for a split second before raising it in the air and smacking my bottom over and over again, roughly. There was no particular rhythm. It was more sporadic than anything; but rhythm didn’t really matter. It hurt like hell no matter how he was spanking me. And even though this time I didn’t exactly fight, I certainly didn’t keep still. I was kicking and screaming. He was just hitting me so hard!
And trust me… it hurt like hell. You never want Robert to spank you. He does it well… which is bad for me.
I think he must have kept me over his knee for at least 10 minutes before he lifted me up. I immediately put my hands to my backside and started to rub, but a pair of hands caught my own. “You’re not getting off that easily, Katelyn Rose. Remember what I said before?” I shuddered at his question. I did… now. “About how you’d get more if you didn’t stay still? Well, you’re getting more,” he paused. “Wherever that wooden hairbrush of yours is, go get it.”
I nodded, wiping the few tears that had come out of my eyes away, and left to go to the bathroom where I kept a lot of my stuff. It was in the drawer underneath the sink. When I got there, I opened it up and took it out, wishing I could just drop it and run; but I knew if I didn’t get back soon, Robert would definitely use more on me than just this brush. So I ran back to the bedroom and handed it to him, though I wasn’t happy about it.
“Good girl,” he said. “Come on, back over,” he told me, helping me over.
He immediately picked back up where he had left off and just started smacking me over and over again. For about a minute or so, I kept myself together. After that minute or so was over, I was screaming again. I’m sure by that point my bottom was crimson red. It certainly felt that way; it hurt so much. It took me awhile before I finally started crying and even longer before I started full out sobbing. I think that’s when I broke. And I also think that that’s all Robert was looking for, the moment I broke. Because as soon as I was sobbing and muttering apology after apology, he stopped. He gave me two final smacks on each thigh and then stopped.
It wasn’t until I heard his soothing voice that I actually realized he had finally stopped spanking me, though.
“Shh, Katelyn, shh…” he said while he rubbed my back. “It’s okay, baby girl. I’m all finished. I’m not gonna spank you anymore.” He let me cry for a minute or so before he lifted me up and held me close, hugging me tightly.
“I’m sorry, Robert. I’m so sorry.” I finally said in a coherent voice after I had been all cried out.
“It’s ok, baby. Just promise me you won’t do something like that again. If I hadn’t caught you there was potential for something really bad to happen.”
I nodded. “I know. I promise, Robert.”
“I love you, Kate.”
“I know,” I replied. “I love you too.”
He gave me one last hug and a kiss on my forehead before lifting me up onto my feet. I took this as an opportunity to pull up my panties and put my pants back on.
“You should probably get yourself cleaned up so we can go pick up your sister from softball practice.”
I pouted. “I don’t want to go with you to pick up Jessica.”
“Oh really?” he asked. “Well, then I guess you don’t want to go get ice cream either.”
I perked up at that statement, “Okay, never mind. I DO want to go with you to pick up Jessica.”
He laughed. “I knew that would win you over.”
“Whatever” I said as I threw a pillow at him. But the door shut before it could hit him.
The only thing I could hear after that was him laughing down the entire hallway and down the stairs.
This had been the weirdest, most random day of my life.
Oh and for the record... yes, I am a complete sarcastic smartass.
Run Away Smartass
by Mackenzie
When I was 13 years old, the worst thing that could have ever possibly happened to me did… my parents died. That’s right, 13 years old and parents are dead. Now my sister and I are left alone to fend for ourselves, right? Well, not exactly. They sent both of us to live with our older brother, Robert, age 26, married to a man by the name of Daniel, age 27.
Yes, our brother is gay. Is that such a surprise?
It was to my parents. They couldn’t get over it for years. In fact, as I recall, Robert was kicked out of the house for a couple of years when he was 22 and just starting out in medical school. He had to stay at a friend’s whenever he came home. Then, Daniel came into his life and my parents met him. All of a sudden, they let Robert back into their lives. It was like he had never been kicked out in the first place. I really think Daniel made all the difference in the world with regards to that entire situation. Because of Daniel, I finally got a chance to see my brother again without being yelled at mercilessly every time I did go to see him.
And that was the greatest gift I could have ever been given.
Anyone who talks to me knows I’m super close to my brother. For Jessica, it wasn’t the same. She fought with Robert all the time. It was like whenever something went wrong they were at each other’s throats. She must have cried a million times at the mean things he said to her when we were younger. Even after he grew up and stopped saying those things, I don’t think she ever forgave him. By that point, they still had a rocky relationship. It was like stepping on eggshells between the two of them. I’m pretty sure that the moment she stepped into that house after our parents had died, she was more resentful than she had ever been.
But then again, maybe I’m just reading too much into the situation.
The point is, when my sister and I were 13, our parents died and we were sent off to live with our older brother, as he was our closest living relative. It’s as simple as that; no more, no less.
Except that it wasn’t as simple as that.
Because it turns out that Robert and Daniel were both incredibly strict as parents/guardians, as the first time I messed up I got in trouble for it big time. And no, I did not just get a talking to. I thought at the time that they’d ground me because I was too old for anything else. But I guess I was wrong.
I think it was about 2 months after Jessica and I had come to live with him, when I ran away from home for the first time. I had gotten into a fight with Robert, which wasn’t something that happened all that often. In fact, it happened usually once in a blue moon. That’s about how rare it was. I screamed at him a lot about something I barely remember. It was probably something like…
Oh wait, now I remember what it was.
I had wanted to spend a night at a friend’s house but Robert didn’t want me to because there would be no adult at my friend’s house overnight into the following morning. Of course at the time, I thought he was being unreasonable so I yelled and screamed at him; even though he was being incredibly reasonable.
“Robert!” I yelled, “You don’t get it! I really want to spend the night at Melissa’s house!”
“Well, Katelyn, I’m sorry… but you can’t.” he replied.
“Why not?”
“I already talked to Melissa’s mom and she told me there would be no one there overnight and into in the morning. I don’t want you being at that house alone at nighttime and in the morning. It’s not safe.”
“That’s fucking ridiculous!” I shouted at him. “You can’t tell me I can’t go!”
“Watch your mouth, young lady,” he said, pointing his finger. “And I can tell you not to go. I’m your legal guardian. I have every right to tell you what you can and cannot do.”
“Whatever…” I muttered. “I’ll go anyway.”
“No, you will not, Katelyn Rose Parker.”
“Watch me.” I replied as I bolted out the door and just started running down the street; running even as he shouted after me to come back, even as he began running after me. I wouldn’t stop and I didn’t… he grabbed me before I could stop of my own free will.
He turned me around and looked me dead in the eye. “You are in deep trouble, young lady.”
And then he hauled me back home. I followed compliantly, afraid of what would happen if I didn’t. I guess that this was a good thing, because I probably would have gotten it way worse if I hadn’t been compliant.
He pulled me through the front door and slammed it shut, stilling holding tightly to my arm. “Katelyn Rose, do you have anything to say for yourself?”
I looked up at him timidly, not wanting to say anything for fear of incurring his wrath.
“Well, Katelyn, what do you have to say for yourself?”
I said nothing.
“That’s what I thought,” he said. “Follow me.”
He grabbed my hand and took me upstairs to my and Jessica’s bedroom. Jessica wasn’t there. At the time I think she was at softball practice and Daniel, well, Daniel was gone running errands. So it was just me and Robert at home at that time.
The moment we got through the doorway, he slammed the door shut and practically carried to my bed then threw me down on it. “Do you have any idea how stupid what you just did is?”
I looked at him fearfully, “No…” I whispered.
“Well, it was very stupid, Katelyn,” he sighed and sat down next to me. “You can’t run off like that. If you had gotten away from me and kept running you could have gotten hurt very badly. It’s dangerous to be roaming around by yourself at your age and anything could have happened if I hadn’t run after you and caught you.”
I nodded, even though I thought everything he said was bullshit. I didn’t want to be in any more trouble than I already was, so I just swallowed my tongue and shut my mouth.
“I’m going to have to punish you for trying to run off like that,” he said.
“No you don’t…” I whispered.
“Oh yeah, Katelyn, believe me, I do. I wouldn’t be a good brother if I just let you get away with it.”
“Yes you would, Robert.”
“Nice try, Katelyn,” he said. “But I’m still going to have to punish you,” he paused. “I’m going to give you a spanking.”
“A what!?” I asked, practically shouting because I was so shocked.
“You heard me, a spanking.”
“No, no, no… Robert, you can’t!”
“Yes, I can and I am,” he replied. “And don’t even think about fighting back because the last time you did that is what got you into this mess in the first place.”
I whimpered and he stared me down for a moment before telling me, “Pull down your pants, Katelyn Rose.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes, you have to.”
I whimpered again but complied for fear of getting into worse trouble and pulled down my pants. As soon as I did so he pulled me over his lap and pulled down my panties. Then he started smacking me immediately, without scolding me even a little bit.
You may have thought that I wouldn’t have struggled, but trust me, I tried very hard to get up. I screamed and squirmed and flailed.
“Katelyn Rose, you stay still this moment or I swear I will use more than just my hand.”
“Let me the fuck go, Robert!” I didn’t even care about being compliant anymore. I just struggled as much as I possibly could, until I got up and ran away from him, pulling up my panties and throwing the door open then running down the hallway. In that exact moment, Daniel came through the doorway, keys in hand.
“Katelyn,” he began in an inquiring tone. “What is going on up there?”
I didn’t answer him, I just ran down the stairs and behind his back as Robert followed me, nostrils flaring, “Daniel, don’t let him spank me.”
“Why would he be spanking you, Katelyn?” he asked.
“Because she tried to run away,” Robert replied angrily as he came towards us. “Luckily I caught her before she got too far.” He glared at me.
Daniel stared down at me and I looked back up at him fearfully. “Is this true, Katelyn?” he asked.
Now, I looked down, feeling very guilty. I didn’t say anything.
“Uh huh,” he said. “I thought so. Come on Katelyn,” he said. “Let’s go back upstairs.”
“No, Daniel…” I whined. “You can’t let him spank me.”
“I think it’s a little too late for that, young lady.” What the hell was it with the two of them calling me that today? What, had Daniel suddenly taken it upon himself to be a secondary parent? Oh wait, I guess he was since he had custody over me too. Ha… haha…
Yay for fake laughter.
“Come on, follow me.” Daniel told me.
I followed almost unwillingly, but knew that if Daniel was backing Robert up, I probably shouldn’t fight. So I just let him lead me up the stairs and back into my and Jessica’s bedroom. He sat me down on my bed and Robert came in behind him, arms crossed, nostrils flaring, eyebrows arched down with a glare in his eyes. He definitely wasn’t happy.
“Robert, what exactly happened?” he asked him.
“Well…” he started. “She wanted to spend the night at a friend’s house and I told her no because there wasn’t going to be an adult there during the night into the next morning. Then she proceeded to tell me that she was going to go anyway. I told her no and she said watch me then ran out of the door and down the street. Of course, I caught her, luckily. If I hadn’t she’d probably have gotten hurt.” I harrumphed to that because I wondered what he thought spanking was. That certainly did hurt… a LOT. “So I told her she was going to get a spanking for doing that and she proceeded to fight me during the spanking and then run away from me in the middle of it.”
“Well, Katelyn, you’ve certainly made a grand entrance to today.” Daniel said. I looked down at my feet. “I think that Robert’s justified in spanking you. You deserve it for doing that. What you did could have turned into something dangerous.”
“I’m sorry.” I said.
“Not as sorry as you’re going to be.” Robert replied in regards to that statement.
“You need to let Robert finish doing his job. He’s your guardian and has every right to punish you.”
I whimpered a little bit at that.
“You deserve it, Katelyn,” he said, then to Robert. “I’ll leave so you can finish your business here.”
“Thanks, Dan,” he said as Daniel walked out the door and shut it behind him.
Robert sat down on the bed next to me and said, “Come on, sis, over my lap.” I whined but decided to comply this time, as I didn’t want to get more than I was probably already getting. Also, I probably wouldn’t make such a great escape if I tried to fight back again.
He pulled my panties down again and put his hand on my bottom, resting it there for a split second before raising it in the air and smacking my bottom over and over again, roughly. There was no particular rhythm. It was more sporadic than anything; but rhythm didn’t really matter. It hurt like hell no matter how he was spanking me. And even though this time I didn’t exactly fight, I certainly didn’t keep still. I was kicking and screaming. He was just hitting me so hard!
And trust me… it hurt like hell. You never want Robert to spank you. He does it well… which is bad for me.
I think he must have kept me over his knee for at least 10 minutes before he lifted me up. I immediately put my hands to my backside and started to rub, but a pair of hands caught my own. “You’re not getting off that easily, Katelyn Rose. Remember what I said before?” I shuddered at his question. I did… now. “About how you’d get more if you didn’t stay still? Well, you’re getting more,” he paused. “Wherever that wooden hairbrush of yours is, go get it.”
I nodded, wiping the few tears that had come out of my eyes away, and left to go to the bathroom where I kept a lot of my stuff. It was in the drawer underneath the sink. When I got there, I opened it up and took it out, wishing I could just drop it and run; but I knew if I didn’t get back soon, Robert would definitely use more on me than just this brush. So I ran back to the bedroom and handed it to him, though I wasn’t happy about it.
“Good girl,” he said. “Come on, back over,” he told me, helping me over.
He immediately picked back up where he had left off and just started smacking me over and over again. For about a minute or so, I kept myself together. After that minute or so was over, I was screaming again. I’m sure by that point my bottom was crimson red. It certainly felt that way; it hurt so much. It took me awhile before I finally started crying and even longer before I started full out sobbing. I think that’s when I broke. And I also think that that’s all Robert was looking for, the moment I broke. Because as soon as I was sobbing and muttering apology after apology, he stopped. He gave me two final smacks on each thigh and then stopped.
It wasn’t until I heard his soothing voice that I actually realized he had finally stopped spanking me, though.
“Shh, Katelyn, shh…” he said while he rubbed my back. “It’s okay, baby girl. I’m all finished. I’m not gonna spank you anymore.” He let me cry for a minute or so before he lifted me up and held me close, hugging me tightly.
“I’m sorry, Robert. I’m so sorry.” I finally said in a coherent voice after I had been all cried out.
“It’s ok, baby. Just promise me you won’t do something like that again. If I hadn’t caught you there was potential for something really bad to happen.”
I nodded. “I know. I promise, Robert.”
“I love you, Kate.”
“I know,” I replied. “I love you too.”
He gave me one last hug and a kiss on my forehead before lifting me up onto my feet. I took this as an opportunity to pull up my panties and put my pants back on.
“You should probably get yourself cleaned up so we can go pick up your sister from softball practice.”
I pouted. “I don’t want to go with you to pick up Jessica.”
“Oh really?” he asked. “Well, then I guess you don’t want to go get ice cream either.”
I perked up at that statement, “Okay, never mind. I DO want to go with you to pick up Jessica.”
He laughed. “I knew that would win you over.”
“Whatever” I said as I threw a pillow at him. But the door shut before it could hit him.
The only thing I could hear after that was him laughing down the entire hallway and down the stairs.
This had been the weirdest, most random day of my life.
Oh and for the record... yes, I am a complete sarcastic smartass.
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