15 March 2009

Story: Temper Tantrum

Part of the Terrence/Brianna series.  You can always count on Brianna to have a good temper tantrum every so often.  She and Terrence have different views about what she should do for college, and it turns into such a horrible fight that Bri takes off to Ana's, crying her eyes out.  She is greeted, instead, by Ashton who teaches her a lesson she'll never forget.  Okay, maybe she will forget it, but it sounded good anyway!

Temper Tantrum
by Breanna Carter

After our trip to Mexico, I was obsessed with going to school in Guanajuato, where Alex would be going. I researched the university on the internet, bought a Spanish workbook to teach myself the language, and emailed Alex hopeful messages that I would be in Mexico by the fall. Terrence didn’t know anything about this… he knew that I was interested in going to Mexico, and that I’d considered going to college down there, but he had his heart set on me going to a private liberal arts college in the town we lived in. I, however, was not going to that school.

I came home from Ana’s house one Saturday evening to find Terrence sitting on the sofa, more elated than I’d seen him since he’d decided to get married.

Raising my eyebrows, I said, “what’s up with you?”

He smiled and shoved an envelope in my hands. It was from the school that he wanted me to go to.

“Oh,” I said, my voice solemn. I looked at the unopened letter, wondering what the contents would reveal. It was either an acceptance letter, or a rejection letter, and part of me really hoped that it was the latter. It would be a lot easier to convince Terrence to let me study in Mexico if I didn’t have a school in town waiting for me.

“Well? Open it!” he said, a little too excited for his own good.

Biting my lower lip, I tore the envelope open, subconsciously wishing for rejection (hey, there’s a first time for everything!). The letter fell out, revealing not only that I’d been accepted, but I’d also received a soccer scholarship that paid for the majority of my college expenses. Wow. I glanced up at Terrence, my heart skipping a beat.

“What’s it say?” he asked, reminding me of Ana on the airplane just weeks earlier wanting to know what Alex had said in the letter he’d written me.

I handed the letter to him, slumping down on the couch, wondering what to do. How would I ever convince him to let me move to Mexico now?

“This is great, Brianna!” he said, after reading the letter, playfully punching me on the shoulder and grinning wildly. Then he stopped, realizing that I was kind of bummed. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I dunno… I really kinda wanted to go to school in Mexico…” I said honestly. I’d given up on lying to Terrence after our last lying fiasco.

My brother chuckled slightly. “Really? Mexico? Why?”

I looked at him, wondering why he found this so amusing. “Because that’s where I want to go,” I said, probably cocking a little too much attitude for my own good.

“Brianna, you can’t go to school in Mexico,” he said, still seeming slightly entertained by the idea.

“Why not?” I asked, standing up now and becoming angrier by the moment.

“Because that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard come from your mouth. You don’t speak Spanish, you don’t know anyone in Mexico, and how would you get your stuff down there? Where would you live? How would you pay for all of that?”

“I can learn Spanish and I know Alex!” I claimed. “And I’m going to go to school in Mexico and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Terrence shook his head. “You can’t be serious.”

“Watch me,” I muttered and walked off to my room, locking the door behind me. Why couldn’t he just be on my side? Why couldn’t he take me seriously? Why was this all a joke to him?

I punched my pillow a couple of times and then flopped myself on my bed, glaring angrily at the ceiling. This totally wasn’t fair. But I could only dwell on it in my room for so long… so I decided to grab my soccer ball and kick it around for a little while to let out some aggression. Then Terrence would know I was serious.

We didn’t talk about it again for a long time. I didn’t bother mentioning it to him because I didn’t want to fight. And besides, it’d be better if I had a plan. So I requested information from the university in Guanajuato, and began looking at visa information so that I could get Mexico’s equivalent to our green card. I decided while I was requesting information that I should go ahead and request info from the Mexican Consulate. Then I realized that I could just go to Dallas and fill out all the paperwork.

I called Ana. “Roadtrip to Dallas?” I asked.

“What? Is there a concert or something?”

I giggled. “Not exactly, although I bet I could find one. I want to go to the Mexican Consulate up there and fill out the paperwork to get a visa.”

“Oooh, so you’re going to do it without telling Terrence?” she wanted to know. I could hear her door shutting, and I was picturing her hiding herself in her room to gossip with me about the trouble I was going to get myself into.

“Yeah, of course I am. I’m eighteen now, so it doesn’t matter what he says. I can do whatever I want,” I said, pausing before adding, “so you wanna go with?”

I could hear her smiling. “Of course I wanna go with! When do you wanna go?”

I pondered that for a moment. Skipping school would be a bad idea, because undoubtedly I’d get caught and in loads of trouble… been there, done that. When was the next holiday? Good Friday… but they would probably be closed on Good Friday… Maybe we’d have to go with the skipping school idea… or maybe I’d just have to wait until Memorial Day. “I dunno. Whenever. I just want to make sure I can get a visa. I have to study in Mexico, Ana. You don’t understand.”

Anastasia giggled. “You’re in lo-ove!” she teased. “Miss Cynic has been broken!”

I rolled my eyes. “Shut up.”

“Hehe, I just love teasing you about it. But yeah, I’m up for a roadtrip. Just let me know, k?”

So my plan was beginning to unfold. I would apply to the school, and upon acceptance, apply for my visa. Alex offered for us to rent an apartment together, which was only about 800 pesos a month, or 80 American dollars. He also told me that I would be able to get a job at one of the local clubs working nights and weekends. That, along with money I would be saving, would be able to hold me over. I could do it.

Terrence, however, almost flipped out when he saw the information I’d requested from the university. “Brianna, do you not realize that we don’t have the money for you to do this? Are you just not thinking about it? Where are you going to live? How are you going to pay for rent? How are you going to buy food?”

“I already…” I began, but was abruptly cut off.

“And it’s dangerous! Mexico is a very dangerous and corrupt country. Have you even considered that? Have you even looked into it?” These were obviously rhetorical questions, so I just glared at him and let him continue his tirade. “I don’t know where you’re getting these ideas that you’re going to move to another country to study. You have a full paid scholarship to go to a great school here in town. And you’re going to give that up, what, to go shack up with some guy in Mexico?”

That statement did more than anger me… it hurt. Hurt a lot. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snapped.

“Well then explain to me why you came up with this great idea to go to school in Mexico.”

“Because I WANT to, Terrence. Because I hate this fucking town, I hate this fucking state, and I hate this fucking country. I don’t want to be here anymore, and I certainly don’t want to live in this fucking house for another four years of my life. I’m eighteen years old and it’s time for me to get my own life. Can’t you see that?”

He was a bit shocked at my tone of voice and the type of language that I’d used with him, and I was sort of surprised that he didn’t slap me for saying those things. “Brianna, I realize that you’re eighteen and ready to move on. But you can live on campus here in town and it’ll be just like going away to school…”

“I don’t WANT to go there! What part of that do you not understand?”

“Well then I’d be happy to look into some other colleges with you. But you’re not going to Mexico.”

“I *am* going to Mexico. I don’t care what you say.”

He groaned exasperatedly. “So you’re just going to fuck up your life, huh?” he asked. “You’re going to fuck up your life for some kid in Mexico. Seriously. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of.”

There he went again, blaming my wanting to move on Alex, when really only about 10% of the reason I wanted to go was for him. Instead of explaining that to him, though, I threw a tantrum. “GODDAMMIT!” I shouted, pushing the lamp off of the end table. “I’M NOT GOING FOR A FUCKING BOY!” I took the phone book off of the coffee table and threw it across the room.

“Brianna Nicole!” Terrence yelled, grabbing me by the arm.

I pulled away. “LEAVE ME ALONE! FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU!” I said, tears streaming down my face. I turned the coffee table over, grabbed my keys, and looked him dead in the eyes. “I hope I don’t make it back home,” then left, slamming the door behind me.

By the time I was at my car, I was sobbing. I couldn’t even breathe because I was crying so hard. Terrence had come outside to tell me to come back, but I sped off, screeching my tires without even meaning to. I made it to Ana’s house in record time, tears still streaming down my face and my eyes red and puffy. I pounded on the door, wanting nothing more than for someone to be on my side. I wasn’t even sure if Ana would understand, but at least she wouldn’t criticize me like my own brother had.

Ashton pushed the door open. Instantly, a look of worry spread across his face. “Brianna…?”

“I need to see Ana.”

He pulled me inside. “She’s not home, Bri. What happened? What’s wrong?”

I began crying again. “Me and Terrence got into a fight,” I choked out between sobs, falling into his arms. He closed the door behind us and lead me to the couch where we sat down and he held me close.

“What happened, Bri? What’d you fight about? It’s okay, little one. I’m here. Talk to me.”

I took a deep breath in to help make the crying go away. I sniffled, then wiped my eyes. “He was just really mean to me,” I said finally.

He raised his eyebrows and tucked a lock of hair behind my ears. “Continue,” he urged on.

I finally just spit out everything that’d happened… I wanted to sugarcoat what I’d said to my brother, but I couldn’t -- I could never lie to Ashton. He could see right through me… and besides, I felt kinda guilty about what I’d done.

Ashton didn’t interrupt. He listened to me until I looked up at him with pathetic eyes, wondering what to do now.

“Oh, Brianna, what are we going to do with you?” he asked, hugging me slightly. “You have to *talk* to Terrence. How’s he ever going to understand your point of view if you hide everything from him and then when he approaches you about it you just yell and throw stuff? That’s not cool.”

I pouted. “But he wasn’t nice to me either!”

“He’s on the defensive. How did you feel when he just randomly told you about how he was going to get married?” I was about to answer, but Ashton stopped me. “Now think about how he feels when you randomly tell him you’re going to move to Mexico -- miles away from home -- and that you’re planning on living with a guy that Terrence hasn’t even ever met. And you both know that your money situation isn’t the best… so what if something happens to you while you’re down there? It’s not like he has the money lying around to fly to Mexico.” He paused. “He just wants you to think about everything before you go. He doesn’t want you to make a hasty and ignorant decision.”

I didn’t like that Ashton was taking my brother’s side, but what could I have expected? He’s a stupid older brother, too, so of course he was going to take Terrence’s side. “Whatever, Ashton, you’re just like him,” I said, pushing away from him.

Ashton pulled me back towards him and looked me in the eyes. “I’m not taking his side,” he said, staring at me so deeply that it made my stomach churn. “I’m talking to you rationally and calmly, and I expect you to do the same with me, do you understand?”

I hmphed and folded my arms.

“Someone needs an attitude adjustment.”

“No one’s on my side, Ashton. It’s not fair.”

“We’re all on your side. That’s why we’re worried about you. Do you not see that?”

“Whatever,” I said.

“Say that one more time and I’m taking you over my knee, Young Lady,” he said sternly, causing me to shiver a little.

“Then no, I don’t see that. All I see is everyone trying to run my life for me, and I’m ready to run my own life. I’m sick of being treated like a child. I’m sick of everyone thinking I’m too stupid to make my own decisions.”

“The way you’re acting right now, I can see why someone would treat you like a child -- you’re acting like a bratty 12 year old when she doesn’t get her way.” He paused. “If you want Terrence to treat you like an adult, then you have to act like one. First you have to see where he’s coming from… he’s worried about you. He wants the best for you. He doesn’t want you to screw up your life. Then you have to think seriously about that, and you have to look at all aspects of moving so far away. You do have to consider what he’s talking about… the money, a place to stay, safety, what’s going to happen if you and Alex get into a fight. You have to weigh everything out. Then talk to him about it rationally. Tell him your plan.”

That sounded like way too much to do. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Ashton was making perfect sense, but it was all too complicated and I didn’t want to do all of that. So I told him.

“Well, then you’ll keep being treated like a child,” he concluded.

“I’m going to Mexico anyway,” I told him. “I don’t care what anybody else says.”

“That’s very irresponsible and childish of you.”

“Whatever.” Oops…

Ashton didn’t take his time in pulling me over his knee.

“Wait, Ashton! I didn’t mean that, it slipped out.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it did,” he said, flipping up my skirt and tugging my panties down to my knees. “I’m sick of your attitude, though, and I’m sure Terrence is, too. After the way you’ve been acting today, this is the least of what you deserve.” He began raining down smacks on my upturned bare bottom.

“Owwww, Ashton! Please! Stop!”

“I’m not stopping until that attitude of yours is gone. I don’t care if I’m here spanking you all night.”

“Ashtonnn,” I begged, kicking my legs and reaching back to block the smacks, to which he grabbed my wrist and pinned it against the small of my back.

His ears seemed deaf to my pleas. “You’ve been very disrespectful and bratty since before you walked in that door, Brianna Nicole, and I’m not putting up with it. If you’re going to act like a child, then I’ll treat you like one.” He paused, increasing the speed and intensity of the smacks. “You’re eighteen years old, Young Lady, it shouldn’t take spanking you to get through to you. We should be able to talk like rational adults, shouldn’t we, Brianna Nicole Carter?”

“Yessss owwww Ashton! Please no more!”

“You haven’t learned your lesson yet,” Ashton said.

“I have!” I promised him, crying out in pain and knowing that my backside was already reddening. “Please I’ve learned my lesson!”

“What have you learned, then?”

I whined and tried to think of what he wanted me to say. “I’ve learned to stop being so bratty.”

He began spanking harder. “You’ve got a long ways to go with this spanking,” he said.

I didn’t like the sound of that… my bottom was already throbbing and I just wanted him to stop already -- it wasn’t fair that he was spanking me! After all, it was me that everyone was against… why couldn’t he just understand and accept my point of view?

“I can’t believe you,” he lectured. “Throwing tantrums like a three year old just because you don’t get your way. And then coming over here and acting the way you did. I was trying to be calm and rational with you, but you still insisted on acting like a child.”

“Owwww please, Ashton. I’m sorry,” I wailed.

“You’re sorry that you’re getting spanked,” he answered.

Well, he was kind of right… that really was the only thing I was sorry about at the moment…

He let go of my wrist and lifted me up for a minute. He looked me straight in the eyes. “I want you to get into that corner and think about what you’ve done. Not only the way you talked to and disrespected your brother, but also the way that you disrespected me. And I want you to think about what you could’ve done differently. I know that Terrence isn’t always in the right, and it’s unrealistic to think that someone is going to always be right, including you, Young Lady. So I want you to think about how you can deal with him when he’s in the wrong.” Ashton then walked me to the corner and planted my nose in it. “Hands behind your back… no rubbing,” he ordered, and walked away.

I leaned my head against the wall. This all really sucked. I hated standing in the corner like I was an eight year old. Gah. He was really treating me like a kid! This totally wasn’t fair. Such boredom, staring at the nicely painted wall.

So what could I have done differently? How could I have reacted when Terrence had flipped out on me? I guess I could’ve stayed calm and explained to him why I wanted to move. Or I could’ve just sat down and talked to him about it from day one instead of hiding it from him and avoiding the conversation. I could’ve been more open to his ideas and suggestions… but he was yelling them at me and being stupid. I guess I could’ve talked to him about that, too. I could’ve just tried harder. And I could’ve been a little nicer to Ashton, who was just trying to help. Ugh, I guess the corner time was pretty effective, because by the time Ashton came back I felt really small, and was actually somewhat remorseful for what I’d done.

“Come here, Brianna,” he ordered, and I turned around to see him sitting on the couch, brush in hand.

Oh God, not that…

“Well? What’d you decide?” he asked.

I bit my lower lip and told him of my thought processes. He nodded every so often, agreeing with everything that I’d said. “Terrence was wrong for getting so upset with you, but you were also wrong in the way you retaliated, Brianna.”

I nodded. “I know. I feel bad about it now.”

“When we get finished here, I want you to go back home and have an actual conversation with him. I want you to sit him down and tell him to give you a few minutes to speak without interrupting you. And I want you to apologize for what you said, and then I want you to explain how you feel to him, understood?”

I whined a little. Talking with Terrence was the last thing I wanted to do. Not that it mattered -- even if Ashton hadn’t ordered me to do it, I’m sure Terrence would’ve wanted to talk to me anyway.

“Come on, little one, get back over my knee,” he said. “I told you what would happen if you said ‘whatever’ to me again, didn’t I?”

“Yes,” I murmured, and lay back over his knee. I braced myself, wishing in that moment that I was anywhere but in my current position.

“Drop the attitude, got it?”

I nodded, feeling the first blow with the hairbrush. I yelped, bracing myself for the next swats, crying out as each smack bit into my flesh. He peppered my cheeks, covering my entire bottom with quick and sharp swats. I was kicking and squirming like crazy.

“Oooowwww Ashton… I’m sorrrrrrryyyyy!” I yelped, kicking my legs up so that he’d stop spanking me.

He pushed my feet back down and said, “stop kicking,” then continued the spanking.

“But it hurtssssss.”

“Good. Maybe you’ll remember this next time I give you a warning… and the next time that you want to get an attitude.” He continued the spanking, slightly harder and faster than before, hitting my sit spots and occasionally my thighs. “Are you starting to learn your lesson?”

“Yesssssssss,” I howled, now crying into the cushions as I reached my hand back to block. He didn’t miss a beat in pinning my hand back, and just kept raining down the smacks.

“You’re too old to be acting like this,” he scolded.

Tears were now streaming down my face as I yelled, “I knowwwwwwwww, I’m sorry!” My backside had to be dark red by this point… it hurt so badly!!

He landed a few final swats to my sit spots and thighs, then sat the brush down on the couch next to him. He let go of my hand and rubbed my back as I cried everything out.

“It’s okay, baby girl,” Ashton said, lifting me up and holding me tightly. “Shhh, it’s over now.” He stroked my hair softly, allowing my tears to stain his shirt.

“I’m s-sorry,” I stammered.

“I know,” he said. “I know you are. Now you just need to talk to Terrence. And everything will work out, I promise.”

I smiled in spite of everything, wiping my tears away and steadying my breathing. “Are you sure everything will work out?”

He nodded. He lifted me off of his lap and patted my bottom. I pulled my panties back up and let him embrace me tightly. “This time you’re going to actually talk to Terrence, right?”

“Yes, I am. I promise. It’s not like he’d let me go without talking to him anyway.”

Ashton smiled and ruffled my hair. “Good girl,” he said. “Now get going. I bet he’s worried sick about you.”

I stalked out of his house and saw that my cell phone had ten missed calls and three new voicemails when I got inside my car. All from Terrence I’m sure. I called him back and let him know that I was alive, that I was sorry, and that I was coming home so we could talk. It would make my evening longer than it’d already been, but hopefully it’d be worth it in the long run. Besides, I’d already promised Ashton that I’d do it, so now I really had to.

Story: Not Normal

Misc Story.  Jenn decides to party it up with her best friend, and by party it up, I mean get drunk and high.  Right before her older brother's concert that she's going to.  Nevermind that she's not old enough to drink, and Ben is totally against her smoking weed.  The night only gets worse when she gets in a fight during the concert, successfully averting all the attention to herself.  Including Ben's.

Not Normal
by Breanna Carter

I’m not normal. And by “not normal” I’m not referring to the fact that I live with my older brother in the boonies of Louisiana, or that my brother’s in a band that’s starting to get popular, or even that I seem to be attracted to emo guys. By “not normal” I mean that whenever I smoke weed I get all defensive and pissy… and “normal” people just get happy and hungry (okay, so I do get hungry… but whether or not that’s a side effect of the drugs, who knows). When I’m high I don’t get all philosophical, I get political and start debates. Why? I don’t know… I’m seriously the only person I know like that. Everyone else seems to get a kick out of it… Well, almost everyone else.

So my brother was performing at a concert downtown, and my best friend, Audrey, and I decided to go together. Of course, she’d just scored some good shit from a friend of a friend, and we couldn’t wait to try it… and besides, we couldn’t smoke it at the show anyway… so we smoked it in the car on the way.

“Tonight is going to be the shit,” Audrey said, picking the seeds and stems out of her bag of marijuana.

“I hope so,” I answered, pulling into an empty church parking lot and turning my lights off.

Audrey packed our pipe with the weed, then lit up, taking a hit. I watched intensely, waiting for her reaction. “Well?”

She exhaled, smiling. “Hellz yeah,” she whispered, handing me the pipe and lighter.

She was right… the only way to describe the grass was “hellz yah.” It was that fucking awesome.

The drive to the concert was blurry, as we were just jamming to happy techno music and dancing around like crazy. When I was talking about the normal stoned person, I’m referring mostly to her… she’s the happy, dancey, hungry one…

“I’m hungry,” I said suddenly.

“Loser. I so said I was hungry like ten minutes ago.”

I pulled up to Wendy’s. “Mmmm, Bacon Cheeseburger,” I muttered.

“Ooh, chicken nuggets!” she yelped.

“Strawberry shake…” I said.

“M&Ms!”

I blinked. “They don’t have M&Ms here…”

She giggled.

The drive thru worker asked for our order and we must’ve spent like $10 a piece there… between frosties and cheeseburgers and chicken… yeah, we could’ve gone broke.

We munched on our food on the way to the concert, now listening to one of my cds instead of her happy techno music. I was in the zone when we arrived downtown… and by in the zone, I mean I was totally gone. I don’t know how I parallel parked.

Did I mention this was my brother’s concert? Yeah, I’m stupid, I know.

Audrey and I somehow managed to stumble into the concert and pay our entrance fee (yeah, even though we were related to the band we had to pay… crappy, right?). There were quite a few people around as it was the “end of summer” concert. That meant that everyone from the local high schools were around to party it up one last time before school started back… that we weren’t the only intoxicated people at the concert… that some kind of trouble was bound to break out.

Everything started out smoothly. The opening band was a bore, so I passed the time slurping on an icee and eating a Twix bar. The second band was kickass, so I carried my happy ass to the middle of the floor and let out some aggression in the mosh pit. During the break between the second and third bands, Audrey dragged me to the car for some more weed and we made a quick run to Baskin Robins across the street for some spectacular ice cream. When we came back, we met up with some friends from school who were carrying around a bottle of water and a carton of orange juice. Yeah, it so wasn’t water. By the time our brothers’ band started playing, we’d drank a little too much of that “water” and orange juice and now were beyond intoxicated. I moshed a little more, maintaining my balance a little too well for someone who wasn’t sober.

When the band stopped, Audrey and I took a break at the snack bar, giggling about different things. She was always pretty good at keeping me happy, whether I was intoxicated or not, so you can imagine the shock when I suddenly became infuriated. You see, I was sitting there and I overheard this douche bag guy behind me.

“Yeah, girls shouldn’t be in mosh pits… they could get hurt.”

My eyes narrowed and I turned around abruptly. “What the fuck, yo,” I began. “What do you mean girls could get hurt… you stupid little boys get hurt more often than we do.”

He was a bit shocked that I was talking to him, which I can’t really blame him. He hadn’t really been talking to me to begin with. But nonetheless, he answered. “That’s ‘cause all the guys go easy on the girls. They don’t want to hurt you. Y’all need to have your own mosh pit.”

I shoved him. “Look you pansy, you need to shut your fuckin’ mouth before I get all ghetto on your ass.”

“Jenn! Stop!” I heard Audrey say, putting a hand on my shoulder, but I could hear the laughter in her voice.

“What the fuck is your problem?” the guy said, standing and acting like he was about to hit me so I’d be scared or something. Yeah, didn’t work.

I stood up and shoved my chair out of the way, not caring that he stood about a foot taller than me. “You’re my fucking problem, you sexist jackass.”

“Oooh, it’s a feminazi. I’m sooooo scared.”

That did it… I hauled back and punched him in the face, so hard that it startled him and he stumbled back into the chair. Before he had the chance to say anything again, I pushed him as hard as I could.

He stood up, pushing me and sending me flying into Audrey’s arms. She was cackling like crazy, and patted me on the shoulders. “Dude, seriously,” she said, but before I let her finish her sentence, I was up again and hitting Jackass, ignoring the fact that people were starting to congregate around us. I punched him again, shoved him again, took a couple of slaps and pushes, kicked him in the shin, took a punch to my cheek, then was about to begin choking him whenever I felt myself being pushed away.

“You better keep your fucking mouth shut!” I yelled, resisting whomever it was who was pushing me back. I also saw that someone was holding him back.

“You fucking cunt!” he yelled back. “Come on! Hit me, you bitch!”

I tried to run after him, but whoever was holding onto me was a lot stronger than I was. “You just wait, you fucking asshole. You fucking wait!”

“Jennifer! Shut the hell up!” I heard from behind me, then someone grabbed my upper arm and pulled me away. I turned to see my brother, Benjamin, standing there.

“I’ll kill him,” I mumbled, still trying to break away.

Ben tugged me back to him and said, “Chill out.”

I looked at him, trying to make sense of what was going on and wondering what the pain was that I felt on my right cheek. “I will beat the fuck out of him,” I said through clenched teeth to Ben.

So much was happening around me that I was dazed and confused. Audrey was still trying to contain her giggles and the guy was still yelling shit at me and police were talking to different people in the room.

“I think I’m going to be sick…” I mumbled to Ben, fanning myself.

He said something to someone next to me, and then dragged my dizzy self outside to sit on the ground for a moment. I leaned my head against the brick wall, trying to make everything stop spinning. I could hear Ben and his bandmate Mark talking softly and puffing on cigarettes. I don’t know what they were talking about, nor how long I was out there before Audrey bumped into me.

I opened my eyes, staring at her.

She burst into giggles again. “That was classic,” she told me.

“My face hurts.”

“That’s cause you got owned.”

“What the fuck ever.”

“You kicked some ass,” she admitted.

“I know, right. Fuckhead. Fucker. I hate him. I’ll kick his ass again.”

She giggled again. “I’m sleeeeepy,” she groaned and leaned her head against my shoulder.

I leaned my head on top of her head and closed my eyes, dozing off for a minute when I felt my foot being kicked. I immediately woke up, prying my eyelids open to see an officer towering over me and my brother at his side.

“What’s up?” I asked.

The officer smiled and introduced himself, then said that he just wanted to ask me some questions. I tried to be as polite as possible… in Louisiana, southern manners go a long way. I did admit that I threw the first punch, but that I was provoked. He then proceeded to ask if I wanted to press charges, and I thought about it for a second, but Ben gave me a look as if saying I better not. I guess if I had pressed charges, the guy would’ve pressed charges on me, too. So I said, “No, sir, I think everything should be okay. It won’t happen again.”

He smiled again, scribbling down something in his little notebook and thanking me for my time, admonishing me to stay out of trouble. I wish it would’ve been that easy with Ben. Hah… he wasn’t even mad at me… he was beyond mad. You know, that point where they’re so pissed off that they won’t even yell at you? That was Benjamin.

“Let’s go,” he ordered, stomping out a cigarette.

“Aww, but Ben… I wanna hear the last band,” I whined.

“Now,” he said, giving me a stern look that quickly shut me up.

I looked at Audrey who was sitting next to me in a daze. “Come on,” I told her. “We gotta go.”

“Audrey’s brother is going to take her home, because neither of you need to be driving.”

I pushed myself up. “What? Why the hell not?”

“Let’s go,” he ordered again.

I folded my arms. “I’ll take Audrey home then meet you at the house.”

He inched in towards me, “You are fucked up beyond belief. Don’t think I’m stupid and don’t notice it.” He paused, giving me a minute to let my stomach sink before adding, “Now, you can either come with me the easy way or the hard way. Your choice.”

“Whatever,” I said, shoving him out of the way and walking past him to his car.

He followed behind me, probably restraining himself from embarrassing the both of us in public. Not that I could really blame him if he did… I kind of deserved it… but at the time I would’ve hated him for it.

He unlocked the doors to his car and I crawled in the backseat like a child upset with his mother about something stupid. I folded my arms and pouted, staring out the window until my eyes became heavy and I slumped over, my forehead against the front seat. By the time we arrived at my house, I was lying down on the backseat, dead asleep.

“Get up,” Benjamin told me, but he sounded far off. It took a couple of times before I realized that he was talking to me and I wasn’t dreaming and that I was still stoned out of my mind.

I followed him inside the house, and that’s when he let out everything he’d been holding in since pulling me from that fight earlier in the day.

“What the hell, Jennifer,” he bitched. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Right now I’m just standing here,” I told him.

Hah… I’m glad that he’s the older brother and not me… I couldn’t have put up with myself, for real. “What were you thinking? Smoking weed, drinking alcohol, picking a fight… are you crazy?”

I shrugged, trying to walk off because he was giving me a headache, but he grabbed my upper arm and pulled me back.

“And you were driving while intoxicated, too, weren’t you?” he asked.

“Yeah, but whatever, Ben. I’m sure you’ve done it before, too.”

“Actually I haven’t,” he said, turning me to face him.

“Okay, okay, Saint Benjamin. I apologize. Can I go to bed now?”

“Do you not realize what you did?!?” he asked, now yelling. “Of course you don’t realize what you did… you’re as high as a kite!”

“Dude, tone it down. You’re giving me a headache,” I mumbled.

He grabbed my chin, putting his face in mine so that I would concentrate on what he was saying. “You were this close to getting arrested tonight. And all for what, some marijuana and some asshole saying that you should stay out of his mosh pit?”

I didn’t say anything, just looked into his angry dark brown eyes, not getting the full effect of what I’d done yet.

“You embarrassed me,” he added. “You disrespected me. You broke the law.”

Short sentences were working to his advantage. I was starting to understand what he was saying. “I’m sorry,” I said.

“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” He let go of my chin. “Go to bed.”

I ambled to my room, changing into my pjs and plopping down on my bed. I pulled my phone out of my pant’s pocket to send a text message to Audrey, but by the time I opened the message, I was dead asleep.

When I awoke the next morning, my head was throbbing and my cheekbone was sore. It was hard opening my eyes and my throat was dry. This could only mean one thing: I’d smoked and drank too much.

I wanted a glass of water, but I was scared that Benjamin would be up and I wasn’t quite ready to face him yet. Instead, I lay in bed and pieced the night back together. Of course parts were missing, but after about ten minutes of remembering, I realized that I’d fucked up big time.

I rolled back over and closed my eyes, wanting more sleep. The longer I slept, the more time I had before having to face my older brother.

I couldn’t have been lying there more than ten minutes when the door opened. I tried to fake sleeping, but I’ve always been bad at that, even during naptime when I was in kindergarten. So within seconds my eyes were open glancing at him.

He was wearing baggy jeans and a T-shirt, an army cap on the top of his head. Ben isn’t a very intimidating guy… he’s only about 5’10” and although he’s stocky, he’s not grossly muscular or anything. And usually he wears a friendly face… even when he’s not smiling he just has the face of a nice guy. But, I don’t know, that morning, I felt my stomach twist into knots and all of a sudden I was worried. It wasn’t so much that he was livid… it was the fact that he had a board in his right hand.

I immediately wished that I’d have faked sleeping a little better. Not that it would’ve mattered because he probably would’ve waken me up anyway. Maybe I could’ve faked dead…

“We need to have a talk,” he said.

By the look in his eyes, I was thinking by “talk” he intended on letting the board do most of the talking.

But I sat up anyway, a solemn and worried look on my face. “I’m sorry,” I began. “I didn’t mean to get into a fight… I didn’t mean to do all of those things… I’m sorry…”

He sat down next to me, placing the board on the bed then reaching up to touch my cheek bone where I was hurting. “That bastard hit you pretty good,” he said.

I nodded.

“Jennifer,” he began, sighing and looking away. “I don’t even know what to say.” He looked back at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

“So I’ve heard.”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

I looked around my room, trying not to look at the board that was sitting on my bed and undoubtedly about to be applied to my backside.

“You smoked weed,” he said. “What did I tell you about drugs?”

“Not to do them…”

“Do you remember what happened last time you smoked?”

I nodded. Yeah, how could I forget… how could any 16 year old forget her first spanking… especially when it was given to her at 16 years old!

He turned my head so that we made eye contact. “And not only were you high, but you put yourself in danger of getting hurt or arrested. What if the guy would’ve pressed charges? What if he had hurt you? What if you’d been pulled over while you were smoking? Or if you’d had a wreck? And don’t tell me that you weren’t driving while high because I know you were, Jennifer.”

I didn’t say anything. The words he was saying were causing guilt pains inside of me and a tear slipped down my cheek.

“And to top it off, you were very disrespectful to me after the incident.” I could see anger begin to flare in his eyes, remembering the words I’d said to him the night before. “You popped off one too many times, shoved me out of the way…” he shook his head. “You were practically begging for me to give this to you last night,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. It was like that was the only thing I knew how to say.

He picked up the board. “Get over my lap,” he ordered.

Tears streamed down my face. “Please, Benjamin. Please don’t do this… I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean it, I promise. Please.”

“I told you this would happen, Jennifer Anne. I told you what would happen if I found out you were smoking weed again. You knew the consequences, and now you have to face them.”

“I know, but I wasn’t thinking. Please Benjamin. Give me one more chance. Please.”

He shook his head. “Get over my lap.”

I buried my face in my hands for a minute, crying and shaking, not wanting to be punished. Wasn’t it enough that my head ached and that I’d gotten punched? Hadn’t I learned my lesson?

Benjamin grabbed my upper arm and helped me over his lap. “Please,” I begged a final time, to be answered with a cool breeze on my bottom: he’d pulled down my pj pants and panties.

“I’m not going to tolerate drugs, Jennifer Anne, and you know it,” he told me.

I buried my face into the sheets of my bed, crying from embarrassment and the fear of what was about to happen to me. He rested the board against my bare skin for a moment. Just feeling the wood on my bottom reminded me of my first spanking, when I’d only gotten swatted with it a couple of times. The way that it made a loud popping sound when crashed against my bottom… the way I shrieked after each blow, even though I’d already gotten my warm up with his hand… the way he scolded me for smoking marijuana and promised me a long spanking with the board if I ever did anything so stupid again. Why hadn’t I thought of that before smoking with Audrey?

He delivered the first deafening blow and I howled, reaching my hands back. He must’ve been expecting it because he quickly grabbed my wrists, pinning them down and popping me again. He didn’t give me much time to recover before he began peppering the swats on my poor bottom, gaining a definite rhythm. Two times concentrated on the right cheek, two times on the left, one swat in the middle of my bottom, two times on my right sit spot, two times on the left. The sound was thunderous, and I was wiggling and squirming and crying like crazy.

“Bennnnnn I-I’m sorryyyyyyy!” I wailed, tears falling down my face.

He paused for a second. “You will NOT smoke weed,” he told me, giving me a hard POP! for emphasis. “And you won’t pick fights *POP!*, and you certainly won’t disrespect me again like you did last night *POP!*. Do you understand me? *POP!*”

“Oooowwww, yesss,” I howled, kicking. “I’m s-sorry.”

But he wasn’t finished. He maintained a steady pace again, now concentrating more on my sit spots than before. He knew that’s where it hurt the most.

“Pleaseeeeeeee,” I begged to his deaf ears.

“I honestly can’t believe you,” he lectured. “You could’ve killed yourself or someone else.” He kept up the spanking as he spoke. “What you did was completely irresponsible and dangerous…” I know he said more after that, but I was in so much pain, and I was squirming and wiggling and moving around so much that I couldn’t concentrate on anything but my backside being walloped.

Through the lecturing and paddling, he stopped for a moment, allowing me to regain myself… for a second anyway. “Was it worth it?” he asked.

“Noooo,” I whined, sobbing into my bed sheets.

He popped me square in the middle of my bottom. “Jennifer, you’re my little sister and I love you. And I trust you to do the right thing. When you do something stupid like this, you break my trust,” he said, delivering another stinging blow. “It makes me wonder if you should even have a car at all.”

I cried harder. Please don’t let him take my car away!

“It makes me wonder if I should be breathing down your neck watching every move you make.”

“I-I’m s-sorry,” I stammered through the tears.

He popped me again. “You’ve said it enough times. Do you really mean it?”

“Y-yessssss,” I promised.

He gave me another whack and put the board down, allowing me to cry for a minute before lifting me up. Ouch… it hurt to stand up. I reached back to touch my throbbing bottom and felt how hot it was. And my sit spots were definitely bruising, ‘cause they hurt so badly.

Benjamin pulled me in for a hug, sitting me down on his lap and holding me tightly. “I love you, little sis,” he whispered. “I don’t like you doing dangerous things.”

I nodded, just letting him hold me and not saying a word. And he let me stay like that while I cried out all of the pain I was feeling.

“You okay?” he asked me a few minutes later.

“Yeah… I’m sorry…” I said again. “I’m sorry for smoking again, and putting myself in danger.”

He kissed my forehead. “I know, baby girl. Come on… get cleaned up and we’ll go get your car.” Sensing my smile, he added, “that doesn’t mean you’ll be driving it anytime soon.”

I didn’t argue, though. It was pretty dumb to smoke and drive, so I kinda deserved it. Besides, Audrey had a car.

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